A quick introduction

[bagpuss75]

Hi
glad to have found this place.

I've suffered from anxiety since I was a little girl. Then it was a fear of doing things and saying things, because I didn't ever want to be wrong. I used to get so anxious and scared that I would have the most terrible tummy cramps and aches.

I managed to get over the shyness, and I an now well into my 30s, am a teacher and perform on stage with my dance group and my band, and really enjoy it.

My anxiety has manifested itself in another way. I now have persistent negative thoughts pretty much on cue a week before my period is due (sorry if tmi). This is emotionally crippling and physically debilitating. I can't switch the thoughts off. They ALWAYS revolve around a 'what if' situation, of something I can't control, and I imagine the very worst scenarios. I can rationalise, talk it through, write it down, and it just won't go away.

Now this doesn't affect my life in that I am able to get through every day, work, my usual activities, by putting a 'mask' on, but my enjoyment of life is zero, and I'm very stressed. I wouldn't say suicidal, but I am struggling to actually want to live like this any more.

It's ridiculous as I am good at my job, have oodles of friends, a fab family and lots of hobbies. I am however, still single and childless and desperately want my own family, although I feel it may be too late. I have had some therapy, and we identified a massive 'failure' button due to my upbringing and a damaging relationship which lasted 10 years.

Sorry, that was a bit of a life story! That's my background anyway. I hope to chat with people who actually understand what it's like and to find out things that can help. Thanks for reading.

[Mark13]

Hi bagpuss. I'm sure you'll be glad you joined.

There's plenty of advice and support here.

You're not alone.

Have you seen your GP about being referred for CBT?

Are you taking any medication?

Wow, you really did get over your shyness, BTW :) Teacher and in a dance group - sounds like my scariest nightmare (you've not seen me dance :))

All the best.

Mark

[bagpuss75]

Thank you.

I tried CBT, but I didn't really get on very well with it. Maybe I need to give it another shot. I couldn't afford to keep going either.
My GP referred me to a telephone thing which was dreadful. As I still go to work and live a normal life through it, she didn't understand what the problem was.
It's eating me up though. I'm in mid panic at the moment.

I'm not taking any medication and would like to avoid it if at all possible, but frankly am open to anything if it makes it go away! I can't live like this much longer.

[Stormsky]

Hi,
You ARE doing all the right things, you are living your life, your stronger than you give yourself credit for...
I'm no fan of meds, they don't ' cure' anything..they mask symptoms ..
If its only happening the week prior to your period, then you need to get pro active when you know that times coming...don't dwell on these thoughts, know they pass, see them for that they are, just thoughts.. Arrange more social things that particular week, don't spend time alone with your thoughts at that time... Diet, exercise all help too..
You say you don't want to live like this, so don't! You have the power to overcome this, you've shown you can with your life to date...

[bagpuss75]

Thank you so much, that's a lovely message, and has given me a bit of strength. Actually it made me cry, and realise what I've been through and it's now wonder!

I've had a hell of a year - left my partner of 10 years, my home and closed the business I ran for 7 years, so it's also fairly understandable that I feel overwhelmed.

I have been thinking that I perhaps need to cut down on the caffeine and eat much more healthily, as I have been eating for convenience really.

[Edie]

CBT can be very effective, but it really depends how you 'gel' with the therapist. Medication may or may not help, and some are especially know for relieving pre-menstrual anxiety, so may be worth considering. It might also be worth looking into the contraceptive pill, as that can reduce PMT, so may work.

I think many people assume that anyone with anxiety would have a problem with public speaking, but that's clearly not always the case. Your doctor should be taking you seriously though! It's hard enough to open up about this kind of thing, without your doctor not listening properly. Maybe try seeing a different doctor at your practice.

[bagpuss75]

I think that was the problem with CBT in the end, I got very frustrated with my therapist and she with me as I don't think we really understood each other very well.
I will look into going on the pill. I used to be on it and I can't remember having as much anxiety as I do now.

I have changed practices recently, so it may be worth going to see a new doctor.