newbie

[mouse109]

Hi my names Steve, in mid forties struggling with all sorts of anxiety issues , self esteem and depression (and maybe even more). I have been diagnosed with GAD in the past but i think this has morphed over the years into obsessional doubting, fear of any uncertainty, social anxiety etc.

At the moment I am so afraid of losing control/living with uncertainty that i am stuck in bedroom almost all the time unable to make any kind of forward thinking decision or movement. I am compelled to keep me "safe" so have a massive avoidance mechanism which is not working anymore as i am exhausted all the time which of course increases the fears and obsess thinking and by exhausted i mean every muscle in head/face/shoulders is worn out through constant tightness - even in sleep -the little i get.

My thinking is very distorted, very irrational and all or nothing. i do feel like my problems are the worst anyone has ever had but im sure thats not the case.

i just want to be able to get out the house, meet people perhaps in time find a job etc, but i cant seem to accept and change where i am. I think I have learnt to try and block anxiety because it did me so much harm in the past. my intellectual self knows i have to live with doubt and anxiety but my emotional self is scared of it.

wheres best for me to listen/read into the Gad forum??
steve

[NR]

Join the club !

[flori]

Hi Steve and :welcome:

I hope you find the site as helpful as I did.

Have a look under the problem issues to the left of the screen. Try listening to some relaxation videos on you-tube too.

Good Luck

[Clint70]

Well you rationally know your avoiding things so that's a start, you have to start taking baby steps in your path to rejoining the world and reclaiming your life.
This won't be without some sort of emotional pain but nothing that will kill you.
Start setting yourself little challenges each day and go for it, your stronger then your anxiety and can do it.

[Joe C]

Hi Steve,

I also suffer from GAD. The first step (if you havent already) is to go and speak to your GP. People tell me this illness can be defeated, lets hope so!:yesyes:

[mouse109]

Thanks guys for replying. i especially like the quote "you are stronger than your anxiety" think i'll use that.

Had a bad night , can't seem to let go even in sleep so don't manage much. Feel physically weak and exhausted but tryin to stay pos.

Does anyone else over analyze and then analyze again - tryin to make things "right" in their head?

Seems a good site so i will try and stay with this one. cheers all

[mouse109]

Does anyone else have the added problem of low self esteem? Its one thing having to deal with anxiety/fears but then this self destructive, negative self scuppers things?

Negative automatic thoughts i think is the term , anyone any suggestions/