Rennie1989
23-06-13, 12:37
I saw it coming over a month go, I'm now in full blown depression. I knew my thoughts were more negative that usual and I didn't feel 'right' for a while (saying and doing things that felt out of my control). For the past week I've been feeling like I'm weighed down my lead, my negative thoughts are shouting at me to the point where I can't sleep, I hurt like I have the flu, I keep making mistakes at work and all the energy in my body is just sapped out of me.
Last time I felt like this I was referred to a mental health service for treatment, of which I am still on a waiting list for, and a week and a half off work. The depression passed on its own but I never felt fully recovered because I had no treatment. I asked for medication later on but was put on Citalopram, despite me saying it made me suicidal in the past, and came off it a couple of months later because I struggled to get a doctors appointment for a repeat prescription. Since then I've tried to self-help, it worked to some extent.
Now I don't know what to do. I can't be depressed. I need to work, despite barely being able to get out of bed. If I'm signed off again our financial situation will get worse and I have a wedding to pay for. But yet with six shifts in a row to get through the thought of it just makes me want to crawl under the duvet, especially knowing who I'm working with today. I know I should probably see a doctor but it will be fruitless, they will just sign me off work and probably throw pills at me, they certainly won't do anything about my treatment or offer me anything like that. So I'm really stuck and hopeless.
Last time I felt like this I was referred to a mental health service for treatment, of which I am still on a waiting list for, and a week and a half off work. The depression passed on its own but I never felt fully recovered because I had no treatment. I asked for medication later on but was put on Citalopram, despite me saying it made me suicidal in the past, and came off it a couple of months later because I struggled to get a doctors appointment for a repeat prescription. Since then I've tried to self-help, it worked to some extent.
Now I don't know what to do. I can't be depressed. I need to work, despite barely being able to get out of bed. If I'm signed off again our financial situation will get worse and I have a wedding to pay for. But yet with six shifts in a row to get through the thought of it just makes me want to crawl under the duvet, especially knowing who I'm working with today. I know I should probably see a doctor but it will be fruitless, they will just sign me off work and probably throw pills at me, they certainly won't do anything about my treatment or offer me anything like that. So I'm really stuck and hopeless.