View Full Version : Falling apart, walked out of work.
Pennyjoann89
23-06-13, 15:38
I suffer from depression and anxiety which I've been taking medication for, for 4 years. I've been doing quite well, minus the odd panic attack when I've tried to come off my medication. But 5 days ago my fiancé who I live with and I broke up, I'm in so much shock and...pain! I feel so anxious, I've barely slept or eaten anything in days. I took last Thursday and Friday off work, and said I would return today, which I did thinking I'd be okay. I wasn't. I work 12 hour shifts in a care home, I just about lasted 4 hours, but I kept having to hide in residents rooms and breaking down until eventually I had a panic attack. The nurse in charge was the least sympathetic person in the world. I told her I wasn't ready to be back in work, i couldn't look after these residents and I needed to go home, she said that wasn't a possibility and to 'get my ass back on the floor'. When I told her I was going home, she pulled me in the office and said it was gross misconduct to walk out. Now I'm terrified I'm going to get fired :( I'm so lost and anxious right now. I've emailed my manager apologising and explaining, but I don't know how this is going to turn out.
So sorry to hear you are going through this bad time, hopefully when they read your email they will be more considerate. Maybe you need to see your doctor to be signed off for a bit so you can get yourself together, it is a big thing you are going through and will take time. Are you on medication. At the moment.
Kim :hugs:
I would say it was gross misconduct the way that the nurse treated you! Go and see your doctor and get a sick note. If you have a sick note with anxiety written on it then your workplace have a duty of care to you and you will protected under the 2010 equalities act. Sending you hugs :hugs::hugs::hugs:
Pennyjoann89
23-06-13, 17:47
Thanks for replying guys! I'm on escitalopram, and I'm still taking it. I've spoke to the assistant manager, he said its quite serious because I've walked out on people who needed caring for, which I feel absolutely awful about I just felt like I was having a complete meltdown. I need to go in and speak to my manager tomorrow. The truth is, I hate working there anyway, it makes me miserable. But I'm scared of being fired and the repercussions of that.
You would not have been capable to care for them in the state you were in anyway. If you had been vomiting all over or had been injured in some way they would have understood and sent you home!!
How long have you worked there? Are you in a Union?
Penny, sorry to hear you are going through such a difficult time. I agree with Annie, if you were ill yourself, how were you supposed to look after other people.
Go to your GP and get a sick-note.
These care homes should have more staff on duty anyway.
Pennyjoann
23-06-13, 19:54
You would not have been capable to care for them in the state you were in anyway. If you had been vomiting all over or had been injured in some way they would have understood and sent you home!!
How long have you worked there? Are you in a Union?
I know :( the nurse was so unsympathetic, I didn't tell her all my personal shit that's been going on, I just said I struggled with anxiety and depression and that I was having a relapse, and she basically just told me to get it together. She's a nurse, in a home that deals with mental health. I've been there only since February, I'm not in a union.
---------- Post added at 19:54 ---------- Previous post was at 19:52 ----------
Penny, sorry to hear you are going through such a difficult time. I agree with Annie, if you were ill yourself, how were you supposed to look after other people.
Go to your GP and get a sick-note.
These care homes should have more staff on duty anyway.
Because anxiety and depression aren't real illnesses to some people. I'm going to see my GP tomorrow if I can get in. And yeah, they are always understaffed :(
Good luck Penny. The main thing is it`s a recognized illness by the medical profession, so it doesn`t matter what these other people think.
Quiet right, you don`t need to tell them all details of your personal life. Only that you felt unwell.
The nurse just doesn`t seem a nice person.
I would say it was gross misconduct the way that the nurse treated you! Go and see your doctor and get a sick note. If you have a sick note with anxiety written on it then your workplace have a duty of care to you and you will protected under the 2010 equalities act. Sending you hugs :hugs::hugs::hugs:
Yes thats exactly what I was thinking reading penny's thread. Surly she can't talk to you like that. Power gone to the head again. But a nurse, aren't they meant to be of a caring nature????????
To be honest I've got a cousin and my mums partners, sons girlfriend, whose also a qualified nurse AND honestly you couldn't get 2 people more horrible To do such a role, they're obviously good at being FAKE. They get a free NHS paid degree/deploma and it pays the bills, I suppose.
One of these two apparently has a face book page and she's taking the mick out of what she calls 'fat people'
My cousin when she was training apparently saying to all she could that, she can do exactly what the doctors do, prescribe, certify deaths etc, that was when she was training???
THERE ARE SOME FANTASTIC ONES THOUGH!!!
Read through all posts and that nurse need sacking especially being a mental health nurse. AND THE ASSISTANT MANAGER - joke!!!! it may be serious u walking out but NOTHING TO DO WITH the residents. They might be ill/old BUT that's got nothing to do with it. You did tell your manager at the time how u felt.
DO NOT LET THEM SCARE U AND GUILT TRIP U! ID COME DOWN ON THEM LIKE A TONNE OF BRICKS! KNOWING U WERE UNWELL AND BEING MENTEL HEALTH NURSES THEY SHOULD HAVE DEALT WITH THE STUATION BETTER!
Wonder why they're ALWAYS understaffed, hmmmmmm.
Pennyjoann
24-06-13, 15:00
Well I got fired, because apparently I was still on my trial period, I walked out which was gross misconduct, and that was the end of it. I didn't even get to see my manager and explain everything to her. They know about my anxiety and the medication I take, I disclosed that when I started the job. Usually I can keep it under control but because of the emotional stress I've been having at home I just couldn't cope, and I know I shouldn't have gone into work but I did, not wanting to let them down. But ended up letting the, down anyway. There are some lovely nurses that work there, unfortunately on this day it was the nasty nurse who doesn't have a compassionate bone in her body,people are forever having issues with her. Like you said, on a power trip.
I saw the doctor this morning, just moments after I'd been fired over the phone in the doctors waiting room. Had another panic attack, he's signed me off work for 4 week and given me beta blockers. So I have a sick note, but no job to give it to anyway.
I don't know what to do now. My world has literally fallen apart in just a few days.
I suggest you call ACAS http://www.acas.org.uk/index.aspx?articleid=1461
Tell them what has happened and ask them for advise :hugs::hugs::hugs:
Penny, sorry to hear that, but you are better away from the place if that is the way they treat their employees. They should have a list of employees on stand-by who are ready to come in when staff feel unwell. If they don`t, they should contact an agency.
At least you got a line from the gp and that should cover you with JCP.
I understand how difficult and hard it is emotionally when there is a split with a partner. It is not an easy time, but you will come through it all, a stronger person.
Personally I don`t have a great deal of respect for the owners of private care homes. They only think about profit. Not the well-being of residents or staff.:hugs:
So sorry to hear that was how things went, don't suppose you can try unfair dismissal now you have a doctors note. Try not to dwell on it which I know is easier said than done, you will get over this and something better will come along. :hugs:
Ahhhhh Penny, bless you I didn't know you were on trial period & I know the rules are slightly different where ever you work, during trial time.
Annie is great when it comes to employment advice , if she doesn't mind me saying that.
In the mean time try and get some rest XXX
People are entitled to go home sick, they have no right to fire you and call it misconduct. I feel a tribunal is in order.
Thank you Col, I know little bits due to my own experience and with me being a Union Rep.
People are entitled to go home sick, they have no right to fire you and call it misconduct. I feel a tribunal is in order.
HERE HERE:lac: absolutly bang on that comment above, I completely agree
Pennyjoann
25-06-13, 12:45
I suggest you call ACAS http://www.acas.org.uk/index.aspx?articleid=1461
Tell them what has happened and ask them for advise :hugs::hugs::hugs:
Thanks :) my mum is in touch with a solicitor.
---------- Post added at 12:37 ---------- Previous post was at 12:34 ----------
Penny, sorry to hear that, but you are better away from the place if that is the way they treat their employees. They should have a list of employees on stand-by who are ready to come in when staff feel unwell. If they don`t, they should contact an agency.
At least you got a line from the gp and that should cover you with JCP.
I understand how difficult and hard it is emotionally when there is a split with a partner. It is not an easy time, but you will come through it all, a stronger person.
Personally I don`t have a great deal of respect for the owners of private care homes. They only think about profit. Not the well-being of residents or staff.:hugs:
I know I'm better off, I'm glad I don't have to work their anymore, I just don't want to have to explain what happened in job interviews because I was fired on grounds of gross misconduct. It is an awful place to work, it has a bad reputation in our town.
---------- Post added at 12:41 ---------- Previous post was at 12:37 ----------
Ahhhhh Penny, bless you I didn't know you were on trial period & I know the rules are slightly different where ever you work, during trial time.
Annie is great when it comes to employment advice , if she doesn't mind me saying that.
In the mean time try and get some rest XXX
The thing is the trial period is 3 month on the contract and I've been there for 5 so I don't know what they are talking about :/
---------- Post added at 12:45 ---------- Previous post was at 12:41 ----------
People are entitled to go home sick, they have no right to fire you and call it misconduct. I feel a tribunal is in order.
Anxiety and panic attacks don't make you sick though in this world, not even on a mental health unit. I asked if I could go in and speak to the manager, but she said I've failed my trial period, she's spoke to staff members that were involved and that's that. I don't get to explain? That's it? Bullshit. My mum said to leave it now till she speaks to her solicitor tonight.
Thank you guys for all your comments xxx
I'm really sorry to hear what you are going through :bighug1:Let us know how things go.
Pennyjoann
25-06-13, 14:46
I'm really sorry to hear what you are going through :bighug1:Let us know how things go.
Thank you :) i will
I am so sorry to hear of this Penny. When it rains it pours. Just want to send you my love.
If I were you, take a few days, a week maybe just to crash, do nothing but sleep eat and read books and completely rest up and have a cry. Then start job hunting, the job hunting will keep you busy.
I recomend CBT4Panic if you are scared of having panic attacks. The doctor may offer you a counsillor if you don't improve, but I believe you can get through this if you just let it wash over you for now. Look after yourself, we're all here for you.
Pennyjoann
25-06-13, 18:51
I am so sorry to hear of this Penny. When it rains it pours. Just want to send you my love.
If I were you, take a few days, a week maybe just to crash, do nothing but sleep eat and read books and completely rest up and have a cry. Then start job hunting, the job hunting will keep you busy.
I recomend CBT4Panic if you are scared of having panic attacks. The doctor may offer you a counsillor if you don't improve, but I believe you can get through this if you just let it wash over you for now. Look after yourself, we're all here for you.
Thank you so much :) I think I will take a couple of week to let myself rest and get used to the new meds I'm on, hopefully my anxiety will calm down. I've been in touch with a counselling service today and I'll get a call on Monday. In a few weeks I'll start looking for jobs, I'm feeling quite anxious about being jobless, but I have to keep telling myself I won't die from it. I have a very supportive family and a roof over my head so I'm quite lucky.
Hi penny
Quote - The thing is the trial period is 3 month on the contract and I've been there for 5 so I don't know what they are talking about :/
THAT'S EVEN WORSE .....so them saying your on your trial period was completely irrelevant! GLAD your mums onto a solicitor x
Pennyjoann
26-06-13, 17:29
Well I asked work for a meeting about what happened because I feel unfairly treated, no word from them. I also put a claim in for ESA today, which is making me quite anxious :/ I've read how people with mental health problems really struggle claiming it. It's starting to make me feel like a fraud :( like I don't really have problems.
I just suggested this on your other post. I get ESA. I Just have to go out to pick my son up and will PM you when I get back to tell you more about it.
Well I asked work for a meeting about what happened because I feel unfairly treated, no word from them. I also put a claim in for ESA today, which is making me quite anxious :/ I've read how people with mental health problems really struggle claiming it. It's starting to make me feel like a fraud :( like I don't really have problems.
NO NO NO, you are not a fraud!!!! Anxiety and panic attacks and all that goes with it are real problems and are real conditions/illnesses , just like any other except it can't be physically noticed like a broken leg can.
I lost my bloody career because of panic attacks, don't ever undermine yourself or underestimate the power of anxiety related illness, its an absolute shocker of a condition and even more shocking that we have to deal with the reactions we get sometimes from work and even loved ones, with comments like pull your self together and what have you got to be soo stressed about.
People on NMP, have lost their families, jobs and homes because of this awful affliction!!!
PANIC ATTACKS ARE DIBILITATING PHYSICALLY & emotionally draining.
Elizabethlemon
27-06-13, 13:30
That's an outrage! I cannot believe a job in a medical type field wouldn't give you some leeway for your own health. I'm so sorry this happened to you. I wish I could call those people and tell them they lost a valuable team member with real life experiences of her own with health problems that she could have brought to the table to really genuinely help someone in their care. Apparently they aren't in the business to help anyone and that had nothing to do with you. You just fell in with the wrong crowd. I say get back on the horse! And at your next interview, which I know you'll be attending soon, be "proud" of your woes. Use your problems to help others. And tell the employer that's just what you'd like to do. Grow and help grow in a stabile team environment. That other job just sounds like bulls#*@$ to me.
Sorry if I rambled on, I just am about to head into my waitressing job where I'm under appreciated and under paid. And overworked. Plus they think me crazy if I need to take a minute to calm myself from time to time. So I get really angry/frustrated when people can't empathize or evn sympathize for someone having a rough time.
Pennyjoann
27-06-13, 18:27
That's an outrage! I cannot believe a job in a medical type field wouldn't give you some leeway for your own health. I'm so sorry this happened to you. I wish I could call those people and tell them they lost a valuable team member with real life experiences of her own with health problems that she could have brought to the table to really genuinely help someone in their care. Apparently they aren't in the business to help anyone and that had nothing to do with you. You just fell in with the wrong crowd. I say get back on the horse! And at your next interview, which I know you'll be attending soon, be "proud" of your woes. Use your problems to help others. And tell the employer that's just what you'd like to do. Grow and help grow in a stabile team environment. That other job just sounds like bulls#*@$ to me.
Sorry if I rambled on, I just am about to head into my waitressing job where I'm under appreciated and under paid. And overworked. Plus they think me crazy if I need to take a minute to calm myself from time to time. So I get really angry/frustrated when people can't empathize or evn sympathize for someone having a rough time.
Hey, thank you :) the job was bullshit. Badly run place, they are always losing staff left, right and centre because no one wants to work there. I just don't want them to be the reason I struggle to get a new job because I can't get a reference or on the grounds of being fired. If I'd been throwing up they would have had to send me home, but me struggling to function because of mental health problems doesn't concern them.
It really is a poor do when people can't sympathise with people who have mental health issues, it's just as real as any other illness. Sounds like you're having a rough time with work :( hope things get better x
---------- Post added at 18:27 ---------- Previous post was at 18:23 ----------
NO NO NO, you are not a fraud!!!! Anxiety and panic attacks and all that goes with it are real problems and are real conditions/illnesses , just like any other except it can't be physically noticed like a broken leg can.
I lost my bloody career because of panic attacks, don't ever undermine yourself or underestimate the power of anxiety related illness, its an absolute shocker of a condition and even more shocking that we have to deal with the reactions we get sometimes from work and even loved ones, with comments like pull your self together and what have you got to be soo stressed about.
People on NMP, have lost their families, jobs and homes because of this awful affliction!!!
PANIC ATTACKS ARE DIBILITATING PHYSICALLY & emotionally draining.
It's infuriating when people tell you to pull yourself together or it's not the end of the world (or something similar). We need more support.
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