Work related intrusive thoughts HELP!

[Mindful guy]

Hiya there, sorry for the long post but I just need some advice please,

I have had OCD since I was in my early teens, maybe even since I was born as I was always someone who hated to get things wrong and a worrier but it took off when I was about 14/15 big time. I am now in my early 20s. My OCD is usully centred around the fear of germs and getting ill however I keep getting this new one which is really getting on my nerves!

I work in a customer related job, which is customer service focused but also I am a first aider and trained in first aid and various emergency procedures in my job for my place if work. Now I always pass this ongoing training with good comments, and perform well... I have also had some situations where I have had to use these procedures for real and dealt with them for a successful outcome and sometimes positive comments but my mind doesn't think its enough!!!

I keep getting bothered my thoughts like "oh you didn't do that" or "you forgot to do that and your colleague had to remind you" etc etc... Of course we all make mistakes and I do, but in general my situations I have been involved in I dealt with professionally but why do I keep going and focusing on my mistakes?!

I sometimes get such praise from managers etc but if I get a mistake or bit of development then sometimes I think "I have to leave I will never be good enough I'm the worst person" even though I can see various compliments!

Does anyone else get this? It seems as I have learned to manage my germs (although it sometimes is worse than other days) that it latches onto something else but it is driving me crazy I sometimes feel so worthless and I absolutely LOVE my job!!!

:weep::weep::weep:

[Invisibletouch]

Hi there....Ocd often seems to start to hit the worst when young people get to about 15, and germs and contamination seem to make up one of the biggest groups of sufferers. You are obviously very good and capable at your job and also at the first aider side, which is brilliant.
Unfortunately Ocd will only pick out your doubts, as you say, that things were not done quite right, or that you could have done better, and will continue to keep firing them round in your brain. As you say, just when you seem to get one thing under control, it will turn to another.
You are not worthless, I know its not easy but try and see the negative thoughts are just the Ocd trying to bring you down.
Take care...

[Mindful guy]

Yes you are right. Thanks for the advice. I guess as OCD people are always thinking and new thoughts pop op if we have a doubt we focus on It and sometimes take it as truth which can be annoying but oh well.

I have had a couple of stressful things recently so my anxiety and OCD, which I have controlled fairly well for a good 4 or 5 years has got worse just in the last few weeks.

I'm trying to do mindfulness and breathing which does help. I am glad I found these forums!