W.I.F.T.S.
07-10-06, 10:57
I think I've been depressed since forever. I can give you loads of reasons for it:
Low self-esteem, perfectionism, passivity, low fear threshold, love addiction, approval addiction, omnipotence, entitlement, achievement, anxiety, procrastination, lack of trust in other people and myself.....
I really am trying hard to set my ship on the right course. I'm doing exercise, I've taken up yoga, i'm volunteering, i'm trying really hard to be sociable, i'm reading...
It just feels like I have always been depressed (even if mildly) and that I always will be depressed. I suppose in a wierd way it used to be quite comforting, but now I'm just really sick and frustrated with with it because I know that I'm not getting anywhere near the enjoyment out of life that's possible.
Oh no. I've just had a terrible thought. I've introduced my gf to this site recently because of her panic attacks and she might have read things that I've posted that she wouldn't take too well [xx(]
Oh well. I suppose I'm identifying where my thoughts are negative or dysfunctional (I can't believe how badly I scored on the personality test, because I always try and be productive, so I thought I would have been more positive) and I have to keep trying little bit little to make them more positive.
It just seems so overwhelming and that most of my thinking patterns are well wide of the mark. It feels like I was born 'wrong' and that life is going to be a miserable struggle for me. On the other hand though, I can see how simple techniques can turn very negative patterns into positive ones very quickly. I've mentioned before about an exercise that a cbt counsellor did with me where she asked me to tell her all the bad things in my life and then she said "sit in this chair here and tell me things that you enjoy" and my whole expression and body language changed instantly. I really need to train myself to focus on the positive.
Generally I do feel a lot better recently, however I'm very conscious of my heart beating (especially when I'm lying down) and that's doing my head in and my whole body feels a bit sick with nerves, like when you smoke too many cigarettes.
I would love so much to feel calm, peaceful, happy, capable of anything. It really gets me down that I feel incapable of travelling.
It seems like most other people were 'normal' before they started suffering with panic and anxiety. Are there any other people out there who have always been a bit depressed?
Ships in harbour are safe..but that's not what ships were built for.
Low self-esteem, perfectionism, passivity, low fear threshold, love addiction, approval addiction, omnipotence, entitlement, achievement, anxiety, procrastination, lack of trust in other people and myself.....
I really am trying hard to set my ship on the right course. I'm doing exercise, I've taken up yoga, i'm volunteering, i'm trying really hard to be sociable, i'm reading...
It just feels like I have always been depressed (even if mildly) and that I always will be depressed. I suppose in a wierd way it used to be quite comforting, but now I'm just really sick and frustrated with with it because I know that I'm not getting anywhere near the enjoyment out of life that's possible.
Oh no. I've just had a terrible thought. I've introduced my gf to this site recently because of her panic attacks and she might have read things that I've posted that she wouldn't take too well [xx(]
Oh well. I suppose I'm identifying where my thoughts are negative or dysfunctional (I can't believe how badly I scored on the personality test, because I always try and be productive, so I thought I would have been more positive) and I have to keep trying little bit little to make them more positive.
It just seems so overwhelming and that most of my thinking patterns are well wide of the mark. It feels like I was born 'wrong' and that life is going to be a miserable struggle for me. On the other hand though, I can see how simple techniques can turn very negative patterns into positive ones very quickly. I've mentioned before about an exercise that a cbt counsellor did with me where she asked me to tell her all the bad things in my life and then she said "sit in this chair here and tell me things that you enjoy" and my whole expression and body language changed instantly. I really need to train myself to focus on the positive.
Generally I do feel a lot better recently, however I'm very conscious of my heart beating (especially when I'm lying down) and that's doing my head in and my whole body feels a bit sick with nerves, like when you smoke too many cigarettes.
I would love so much to feel calm, peaceful, happy, capable of anything. It really gets me down that I feel incapable of travelling.
It seems like most other people were 'normal' before they started suffering with panic and anxiety. Are there any other people out there who have always been a bit depressed?
Ships in harbour are safe..but that's not what ships were built for.