I miss my wife and kids so much

[gregcool]

Today i have done nothing but think about my wife and kids and the life we all had before my depression took me away from them all.felt very tearful and feel like i failed them all,for not being there all the time and doing the things they wished i could. I can never bee with them anymore in the way i used to and miss them soo much.any advice how to stop myself from feeling like this.:weep::weep::weep::weep::weep: im tired of feeling unwell and lost and feeling i do not have a life anymore.

[Stormsky]

I've always believed "you re as happy as you make up your mind to be"
You cant start the next chapter in your life, if you keep rereading the last one....
You can't change the past, but you can change your future outcomes...
Do you still see your children? Can you ring them regular?
Get yourself in the right track and then start rebuilding your relationship with them.

[rybonn]

I feel the same way, as I used to be such a fun and care free dad and husband before my anxiety took a hold of me..The worst is the guilt I feel for what ive put my family through as ive been dealing with this..i think all we can do is try and be do the best we can, and not try and let the feeling overwhelm us. The more we fight the feelings the worse they are..

[Annie0904]

Greg...you didn't fail them, anxiety and depression is an illness, You couldn't help feeling how you did. I am so sorry things didn't work out for you with your wife. Do you still see your children? I really wish there was something I could say that would help you but I know this must be really hard for you. Life is what you make it and you can make a better life for yourself again. It is still early days yet and you are bound to feel the heartbreak but you can and will move on from this.
Are you able to go to the day centre again that you were going to before as that seemed to be helping you? :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

[gregcool]

I am in contact with my kids and have little to do with my wife anymore.but the pain of loosing them is so strong,i hate the fact that when i got depressed , my life changed and i changed towards my loved ones and just feel so guilty for not performing as a dad and a husband,,,i wish things had been different,i know looking back is the wrong thing but today iv not been able to stop myself,the day center Annie helped me for a bit, but i was allways feeling a bit inside,,,i just cant see a big enough change soon in my life to move on ,

[Annie0904]

Greg you can still be a good dad to your children. You have the chance to spend quality time with them and do fun things with them. Don't feel guilty, you were ill...it is so hard to function as we think we should when suffering from depression, your kids will grow to understand that.

[gregcool]

thanks Annie as always for your positive words,i know you make sence, im just hurting still.trying to ajust to my life while she cary's on at home as norm while im living a shit life.Im just watching the film ghost and im finally sheding some tears.such a good film

[Annie0904]

I love that film :) I have tickets to see the musical at the theatre later this year. Let those tears come Greg, you need to let your emotions out. Life will get better, think positive and plan positive :hugs:

[Magic]

Gegcool, Just wanted to send you:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

[gregcool]

Thanks magic..can you magic away my pain plz

[Col]

Greg you didn't fail them you were ill!!! Illness is not a choice it's just something that unfortunatly happens. If you could have tried that bit harder or challenged yourself more after years of depression etc , you would have in that time.

My heart goes out to you, it's the feeling of loss and change BUT don't regret because the ROOT to your issues in your life, are down to your illness. You can't beat someone up or yourself up about being genuinely ill. I know it's not easy because durring Easter hols I was in bed and my 11 and 3 year old kids were left to wonder the house board because I was severly unwell with pregnancy issues & I felt guilty over that! So God only know how your feeling after a separation BUT hang on in ther Greg.:winks:

Have you thought about talking through stuff with your kids??

[gregcool]

Thanks Col.im trying every day to be possitive.i think my medication would be more efective if i wasnt trying to deal with my curent situation.i know if i was working and had my own place etc id be better.more well.my days are filled with pritty much no human contact ,apart from my sister.and so when night time comes ,i have nothing about my day to think or focus on.so my mind drifts to past memories.then i wake up in the morning and the cycle starts all over again.im stuck.!! Ground hog day..somehow i need to try and break this negetive daily cycle..and get off this never ending roundabout im on.Im a good loving gental guy and miss having someone to spend my days and night with.i want to be in love and be loved.i want to cuddle up on the sofa and have joy in my life.just like i used to..:hugs:

[ElizabethJane]

Dear Greg you have come a long way from when you first started to post on here. Things will improve for you. I can't think of anything worse than being separated from my husband and child. My niece has recently lost her children back to her ex husband. She will only be allowed to see them for an hour a week. Hopefully your time with your children is going to be longer than that. As your depression lifts you will begin to feel able to go out and about again. EJ

[gregcool]

Thanks Elizabeth for your kind words.im trying to look to the future.im trying

[Annie0904]

Greg do you think you would be able to do some voluntary work just to help you get out and see other people? Even if it is just a few half days a week it may be helpful to you as it would give you something else to focus on.

[Col]

Greg do you think you would be able to do some voluntary work just to help you get out and see other people? Even if it is just a few half days a week it may be helpful to you as it would give you something else to focus on.

Yes I was thinking that

[gregcool]

I have aplied for to charity shops,but they both told me there is a waiting list as they have so many interested people.i filled in application forms and am now waiting

[Annie0904]

I think that would help you a lot...I hope the waiting list isn't too long. Maybe there are other things in your area that you could volunteer for?

[Granny Primark]

Greg read you post. Try ringing up the wrvs. Its a brill organisation and they need men as well as women.
They are always in need of help. I worked for them last year and it helped me loads. Just waiting now so I can be a befriender.
Good luck.:yesyes:

[gregcool]

Granny what is the WRVS

[Granny Primark]

womens royal voluntary services. But men and women can join. They will be so glad of your help.

[gregcool]

Thanks Granny ill have a look