View Full Version : I feel alone and anxious
Basically tonight was my Dds 60th so we had family over and celebrated
It was great & for the first time in years Ive had an amazing night
Until .....
Im due to get married within the next three years .... My brother (middle one of us) seems to always want to put me down. Hes getting married too. He got engaged 3 years after myself , on the same day (24th Dec) as he knew that was the day I got engaged. Didnt bother me although I hate his fiance and so do my family.
Next thing, tonight I got quoted £4,000 for our wedding... But all he did was sat I was wrong and there is no way on earth I could get married for such little a price.
After that , everything I said was wrong. He made me feel small .... Ive come to bed and im crying my eyes out.
I dont know what to do.
Im 25 in December, i just feel like everything I do is wrong. I feel alone in everything. I feel left behind as everyone is having babies and getting married and thats all Ive ever wanted out if life and I cant even be granted that :(
Im really upset and I dont know what to do
Sorry for the rant Im just panicking alot right now
---------- Post added at 00:56 ---------- Previous post was at 00:55 ----------
Sorry for spelling .... Im very teary
Awww, sorry you are not feeling well, after having such a good day. Try not to let your brother bring you down. You are going to have your own amazing day, no matter what it cost. You are going to have your turn in having children also. You are around the same age as my daughter and she got married last march 2012. All she wants is a baby also, I say enjoy your life, there will be time later for children. Have fun. Know you are not alone. Hope you feel better soon. :hugs:
Basically tonight was my Dds 60th so we had family over and celebrated
It was great & for the first time in years Ive had an amazing night
Until .....
Im due to get married within the next three years .... My brother (middle one of us) seems to always want to put me down. Hes getting married too. He got engaged 3 years after myself , on the same day (24th Dec) as he knew that was the day I got engaged. Didnt bother me although I hate his fiance and so do my family.
Next thing, tonight I got quoted £4,000 for our wedding... But all he did was sat I was wrong and there is no way on earth I could get married for such little a price.
After that , everything I said was wrong. He made me feel small .... Ive come to bed and im crying my eyes out.
I dont know what to do.
Im 25 in December, i just feel like everything I do is wrong. I feel alone in everything. I feel left behind as everyone is having babies and getting married and thats all Ive ever wanted out if life and I cant even be granted that :(
Im really upset and I dont know what to do
Sorry for the rant Im just panicking alot right now
---------- Post added at 00:56 ---------- Previous post was at 00:55 ----------
Sorry for spelling .... Im very teary
Many:bighug1:
I got married at 23 in may and my wedding cost about £200 quid all in all!
We only had a couple of friends as witnesses and my 3 year old little girl. Fair enough £200 would have been more like £20 thousand pound if we'd have invited our families and done it in the normal way, so my circumstances are different to yours but at the end of the day, I'm married and have been now for 8 years. My dad hates the fact he wasn't there but we have cultural issues , my family are either catholic or church of England whilst my hubbies are Muslim and at the time we did the right thing - we did the right thing for us.
Now both our parents are a lot more respectful of us as a couple.
It was possibly £60-100 for registry office and about £100 quid for taxi to town, my outfit white trousers and fancy vest from oasis and my daughters little dress from next. So yep about £200 quid.
How awful of your brother to behave in such a way, I'd have to say something if I was either your mum or your fiancé.
Good luck and congratulations XXX
Thank you all I feel much stronger now knowing people can relate in one way or another
£200!! I wish I could do that lol but my fiance wants me to have the big dress and the weddig I dreamed of as a little girl lol bless him as Id be happy to just elope haha
My mother is not impresed at all with my brother and my fiance only keeps quiet as he doesnt want to put anymore stress on me .... Although it wouldnt really, he just never raises his voice arounf me due to my anxiety :)
I just cant believe my brother , hes always tried to get the one up to me (-.-)
Thank you all I feel much stronger now knowing people can relate in one way or another
£200!! I wish I could do that lol but my fiance wants me to have the big dress and the weddig I dreamed of as a little girl lol bless him as Id be happy to just elope haha
My mother is not impresed at all with my brother and my fiance only keeps quiet as he doesnt want to put anymore stress on me .... Although it wouldnt really, he just never raises his voice arounf me due to my anxiety :)
I just cant believe my brother , hes always tried to get the one up to me (-.-)
Ahh bless I'm glad you feel stronger and your mums unimpressed!
Your fiancé is right to want the best for you, you deserve it and that's one thing I miss - not having the big white gown and family pics BUT with a small child all that mattered to us was the marriage , not the wedding.
Good luck x
Brothers ...... mine bullied me for years. I think you handled it right, just let him say his stuff and ignore him. Don't try to impress him, stick to your own plans and remain confident that you are doing the right thing and he is a pratt. It sounds like he's trying to be clever and prove that he knows more than his little sister, you'll not change him, try not to challenge him, ignore him and just try to float above it and remember that you are better than him, kinder, more intelligent and nice person - he is a bully.
Thanks you
And Tufty that is such a lovely thing to say, really brought a smile to my face :) Thank you so so much !! x
The choices you make in life are yours and this includes plans and the cost of your wedding. Unless you ask his opinion it really has little to do with your brother.
Stand up to him, look him straight in the eyes and calmly tell him that it is your wedding and that you would value his support. Your respective weddings are not a competition, you each have differing wishes that will make your day a special one. Neither of you are right nor wrong in your plans you just have your own way of celebrating an important day.
LolaBee
Firstly hold onto you having had an amazing night with your family celebration for dd 60th ..
Flossie above has got it spot on . Even if its hard , keep looking and sounding confident, asserting and planning your own wishes without putting him down. Live and let live .
Get your mum to buy into your plans , praps she'll stand up for you in your absence too
Have a great wedding
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