mat74
27-06-13, 15:45
...and I do not like it
Having one of those days where you dwell on the past. Although I am only in my 30's I seem to have lost so much confidence, self esteem, happiness and enjoyment in my life.
A few years ago I had a good job, wonderful girlfriend, nice car, flat, holidays in the sun and a good social life. Now I have none of them and one way or another I honestly think my anxiety and panic has contributed to losing them.
I now spend most of my days watching TV, sleeping and walking aimlessly round shops just to get me out of the house. Although I still see friends it is around once a month and that turns in to a chore as I get worked up and anxious about the night out thinking I am going to be ill or worrying about what to wear. I rarely drink now as I worry about it making me feel sick and hangovers and after a few hours out all I want to do is be at home and doing nothing (this is the depression side of my illness)
I know compared to loads of people I have it mild as I still go out and do things but compared to a few years back everything has gone downhill and I cannot see how to get my confidence and self esteem back, it is a terrible and exhausting feeling and some days I am sick to death of it
Even when I try to cheer myself up by booking a break guess what? I cancel it as my feelings take over (thread I posted last week) and now 22 of us have a stag do in Liverpool to go to in September and the train tickets and hotel are all booked and with 2.5 months to go I am already worrying about howI will feel instead of really looking forward to it
Having a bad day today :meh:
Having one of those days where you dwell on the past. Although I am only in my 30's I seem to have lost so much confidence, self esteem, happiness and enjoyment in my life.
A few years ago I had a good job, wonderful girlfriend, nice car, flat, holidays in the sun and a good social life. Now I have none of them and one way or another I honestly think my anxiety and panic has contributed to losing them.
I now spend most of my days watching TV, sleeping and walking aimlessly round shops just to get me out of the house. Although I still see friends it is around once a month and that turns in to a chore as I get worked up and anxious about the night out thinking I am going to be ill or worrying about what to wear. I rarely drink now as I worry about it making me feel sick and hangovers and after a few hours out all I want to do is be at home and doing nothing (this is the depression side of my illness)
I know compared to loads of people I have it mild as I still go out and do things but compared to a few years back everything has gone downhill and I cannot see how to get my confidence and self esteem back, it is a terrible and exhausting feeling and some days I am sick to death of it
Even when I try to cheer myself up by booking a break guess what? I cancel it as my feelings take over (thread I posted last week) and now 22 of us have a stag do in Liverpool to go to in September and the train tickets and hotel are all booked and with 2.5 months to go I am already worrying about howI will feel instead of really looking forward to it
Having a bad day today :meh: