Dating with anxiety

[AndrewNolan]

Hi all

I was wondering if anyone had any experience of anxiety around the subject of dating and relationships? For many years I struggled with anxiety without realising that I was suffering with it and never went on any dates etc as a result. Anyway since I was diagnoased with GAD and depression I'm trying to resolve the issues that I have in this area. I've been dating women but find it very hard to open up and be relaxed given the newness of this experience. Does anyone have some suggested coping mechanisms or tips? I usually end up being either too intense and full on or being quiet and nervous - it would be nice to find a happy medium between the two - I want to try and show myself at my best despite my illness.

Thanks

Andrew :-)

[Oosh]

Ever heard of that method of taking the importance out of your boss by imagining him with no clothes on ? (Haha I'm not going where you think I'm going)

Well i found the idea of changing the movies and images in your mind to take the importance out of a person or thing to be effective.

I was too self conscious. I cared too much. I placed too much importance on it/her. You can't be yourself. You end up too inhibited.
After reading some nlp I morphed the way I saw her to amuse myself.
I can't see her back so I visualise her having a huge bum that drags around on the floor. I picture her with ears on stalks alien like. And as she talks she has a tiny little mouth with teeny little teeth in there. Etc etc
Bit weird you think ?
Well try it. You'll end up tickling yourself. And importantly you'll tap into the lighthearted, humorous you who enjoys laughter.
You'll get there as soon as you tickle yourself with something in your mind.
Add to that that with every daft thing you do to her appearance in your mind she'll come down lower and lower in importance. Ie she'll no longer be on that pedestal where you feel any balls up or daft thing said will be catastrophic.
Feel that lightheartedness and enjoy it.

The other bits easy. Show her the thoughtful, analytical, sensitive, empathic, mature side of you that you've no doubt got being anxiety prone. It's an asset.

Every time you feel those inhibitions closing in, work on those visuals and tap into your humour

[AndrewNolan]

Hi
That sounds really helpful and fun! Thanks for taking the time to reply. I'll give it a try :-)