wenwhi
01-07-13, 18:36
I've recently married my long time boyfriend and begun living full time in his home country. Now that our extended honeymoon is over and he's back to work I find myself not wanting to leave home. He tries everything to make me comfortable and encourages me do various activities. And even begs me to come and hangout with him at work. But leaving the house is becoming a huge production of primping myself and depending on how I feel after doing so will be the deciding factor if I end up leaving.
My husband is very charismatic and handsome and gets lots of attention from women. But he's very humble and oblivious to this. I'm not sure what has triggered my recent fear of being around him in front of others. I feel like people are judging me, why is he with her when he can have anyone. This has carried over to other aspects of my life like obsessing before I go to the grocery store.
I've always struggled with self-esteem issues. And I've always struggled with fear of abandonment(due to my father leaving when I was a child). But all of these behaviors only surface to this extreme when I'm in a deep loving relationship. When I'm single it seems that I'm not at all self-conscious. I've never exposed these feelings in a public forum, so forgive me if my post is a little unorganized.
My husband is very charismatic and handsome and gets lots of attention from women. But he's very humble and oblivious to this. I'm not sure what has triggered my recent fear of being around him in front of others. I feel like people are judging me, why is he with her when he can have anyone. This has carried over to other aspects of my life like obsessing before I go to the grocery store.
I've always struggled with self-esteem issues. And I've always struggled with fear of abandonment(due to my father leaving when I was a child). But all of these behaviors only surface to this extreme when I'm in a deep loving relationship. When I'm single it seems that I'm not at all self-conscious. I've never exposed these feelings in a public forum, so forgive me if my post is a little unorganized.