Tidy house,tidy mind? [Archive]

hopeful

09-10-06, 08:56

I have generalised anxiety and worry about everything.

My home is always amess.I do the basics but I dont like housework. I would love a tidy home but seem unable to make or keep it that way.I find that I waste time doing nothing and then end up racing around for an hour trying to get things done before my hubby gets home.I tell myself each day that I am going to get the place sorted but it never happens. Any ppl with nice clean and tidy homes got any advice?
I work full time but I know I waste a lot of my time at home.

julie x

lainey

09-10-06, 09:01

Hi Julie

I am like you too, but recently I have managed to get my house more or less in order and I can't tell you how good it has made me feel, anxiety is decreased big time. I just forced myself to do it, it was hard as I have very little motivation to do it.
Instead of thinking I had to sort the whole house out I thought of it as a room at a time and then the task didn't seem so great.
Hope this helps

Take care

Elaine x

strawberrie

09-10-06, 09:15

hi julie, i cant offer any advice at all about keeping a tidy home, all i can do is sympathise with you. I feel like I spend all my time tidying and the place is still a tip - i find it pretty depressing really.

I think everyone in my house is missing the tidyness gene. I am not even working full time and i still can't get things done. It's quite strange really because i do a cleaning job once a week and i get absolutely loads done in 2 hours there, and i even enjoy it, but when it comes to my own home i'm too easily distracted, and just find it sooo boring. in fact, i should be tidying up right now, but instead i'm doing this!

sorry to whitter on about it, like i said i've not got any advice, but just had to let you know you're not the only one. the only thing that makes me feel better is watching 'how clean is your house' so i can sit there and go 'at least i'm not that bad' [^]

maybe we can get Anthea on the forum to tell us how its done :D

take care
mag

tara

09-10-06, 09:17

I love having a clean tidy home it makes me feel great !!!

Now that not to say "i'm perfect" but I start as soon as my son has gone to school and could carry on all day if i let myself.

I really do find that when my house is a mess and i know things need doing, I get really annoyed and am not happy until it's done .

Tara xx

Smile...it confuses people.

LickeyEndBlues

09-10-06, 09:33

I like "tidy and ordered" but it is a very short lived state in this house!!

This morning I will put the house straight after the weekend and get the ironing and washing done. What gets me is the amount of stuff that is left around by others. No matter how much I seem go on about it, it remains!!

It is great to see everything tidy and it does make me, and the family feel good, but the short livedness of it often induces the "why bother" feeling......as is prevelant now!! (Probably the reason I'm here and not busy!!)

Laisez les bon temp roulez

Piglet

09-10-06, 09:53

I too really wish I could keep a tidy house as I do feel much better and less scatty when it is.

My handbag is much the same - over the many years of regularly dropping its contents allover the place I've gone from having cigarettes in my bag, that I didn't want my parents to see, to 'ladies' things spilling out in public places, to dummies and dinasors and wooden bricks, to wee and poo samples, and finally to my most expensive makeup that would go missing otherwise (teenagers) and lots of bottles of Rescue Remedy. All these items have been viewed by the general public on numerous occasions. Oh and a card showing how to give resucitation incase I ever need to do this on someone or myself [:I]:D

In the last year I have made every effort to keep my bag very tidy and minimal and the same with my wardrobe. I now regularly de-clutter with the notion that if we don't have any possesions then maybe we will be tidier!

Piglet xxx

"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.

ksmith

09-10-06, 11:58

Hi Julie

I'm the same as you, would love a tidy house but appear incapable of keeping one. I think I have a lazy b*stard gene somewhere. I've had my house feng shui'd, I've had a cleaner, yet still I revert to slobbery whenever poss. Think it's probably the anarchist in me, eg., why should I conform to something as dull and mundane as housework; it's not worthy of my attention.

However, I do know when my house is tidy and uncluttered I feel soooo much better and clearer in my mind. I make life hard for myself, eg., lose paper work, bills, can't find items of clothing, makeup etc. The kids and husband are just as bad ..... they've learned from the master. It's expensive too. We often buy things twice because we have lost certain items (usually to be found under a pile of magazines a few months later).

Don't beat yourself up about it. Accept your hesitance and put it down to eccentricity and anarchistic tendancies, not slobbishness. Quenton Crisp the well known homoesexual famously never ever cleaned and apparently he discovered that dust becomes no worse after 3 years!!!!

Kay x

Ma Larkin

09-10-06, 13:01

My house is filthy!! I'm 40 today and the kids asked me what I wanted for my birthday and I said a tidy house. Hopefully, when they come home from school tonight and by the time I get home from work, the house will be a bit better than what it was when I left!! It's not just the mess that the kids make (i.e. toys, videos, CD's, DVD's everywhere), they have a habit of picking at wallpaper. My stairs, the bathroom, their bedroom all have bald patches where the wallpaper is missing, and then they will draw on the bare bits!! I have no control over the 2 little ones, my fault entirely. I never can find the time to motivate myself to clean. I don't often get time to myself but when I do I want to spend that time on me, not cleaning!! I really could do with a cleaner and if I could afford one I'd pay. I do reckon I wouldn't be as stressed and anxious if my house was tidy. I wake up in a morning and straight away it puts me in a bad mood!!

Les

jodie

09-10-06, 13:33

hi julie

i think doing a bit every day helps dont leave it till there is lots to do just have an hour a day to clean i find it takes my mind off all the stress get some nice smelly things to put round the house and a bottle of detol and go for it lol

jodie

**whenwillthisend**

09-10-06, 15:33

hi , im pretty tidy really.....i love a nice clean house, and get in bad moods when the place is a tip....and if i know anyone is coming im like a looney at tidying-although i could clean all day and it can still look messy with the kids.....i feel i spend my life somedays with a cloth in my hand...and it doesnt matter how much you do the day after it needs doing all over again
im learning to relax a bit over the housework

Hexia

09-10-06, 17:52

I used to have the exact opposite problem. My house was so tidy all the time, my husband couldn't finish his dinner before I had cleaned his plate. :D
After I started working on my anxiety I do my best to leave at least SOME mess and live with it. I work full time and I'm alone with two kids, so that helps.:D

Do you have someone who could help you, maybe? If you got a friend to come over on a Saturday or something, you could take one room at a time and have a nice chat at the same time.
Just a thought.

"You can't yell loud enough to make me shut up."

hopeful

10-10-06, 08:19

Thanks all for your replies
I too watch how clean is your house and think 'at least im not that bad'. Ive decided Im going to concentrate on the basics ie washing up,sweeping,hoovering,washing,ironing and cooking and then clean one room thoroughly each day.
Im going to do it,I am,I am,I promise.
Any further tips welcome.
julie x

india

10-10-06, 09:31

Hello, i can relate to all this, mess everywhere, untidy kids (and husband)

Add to this an extension to the back of the house- ie building site!

No kitchen yet, just a microwave.

EVERY room upside down...

And its getting me down...

Oh, and i work from home.

Love India xxx

HazyMind

10-10-06, 10:58

I wish i did have some tips to give you :D

Im afraid i am so unorganised and scatty when it comes to cleaning and housework!
I watch how clean is your house because it makes me feel a little better about my own home.

It would be interesting to find out if i could tidy my mind by organising my home but i have big motivation problems which lets me down, oh and two children who have inherited my scatty ways which really doesnt help lol
x

net

10-10-06, 15:11

i dont have much space just a bedroom which has everything in so it can get messy easy (and doesi watch anthea and have developed her love of boxes i went on a mad splurge and cleaned out my clothes. another day i sorted stuff that i shouldnt be keeping and threw loads away. i found that instead of tackling everything at once and getting bogged down to do it as you said a room at a time was the best way.
i now put things away when i've finished instead of leaving it til later (which never came).
i've not mastered evrything cos at this moment my ironing keeps looking at me and i'm ignoring it:)

netty

the dreams of the future are better than the history of the past

bev

25-10-06, 12:46

my house always looks like a bombs hit it. its even worse now ive got the internet, i hate it when my boyfriend gets home and it looks like a tip. coz i do hoovering wash up ect but never looks any better. some people are really organized but im not!!!! ive even tried to make a chart and tic each chore off when ive finished but i never follow through with it, at least my mess is organized i can all ways find everything, but when i start to tidy up thats when i cant. i think as long as your house is clean like mine a bit of mess never hurt anyone. bev

b.barnes

bearcrazy

25-10-06, 13:19

hi julie,

I hate housework and havent got the motivation to clean up. We have 2 dogs too which doesn't help. I did have a bigggg tidy up a few months ago. I took photos of before and after and it really helped. Now I look at the before and try to make sure it doesnt get to that stage again. It really helps.

tam

25-10-06, 13:28

hi hopeful i love my house to be clean and tidy,and it does make me happy.i would also say that i am probally in this situation now partly because i run round and wanted everything so tidy all the time.my hubby has told me for 3yrs that i need to leave things and that i will make myself ill,i didnt believe him and then bang i started like this.i must say when i was trying to be so tidy i had just had twins and already had a 3 yrs old.i am at the moment and have been for the last 3yrs trying to not be as tidy and leave things.i have my house kind of tidy and try to keep on top of things but have now relized that it wont stay tidy for long with 3 kids.something you could try is tidy 1 room at once then when you have done this just to keep on top of it by doing a hr or two just keeping it like that.somebody maybe to help you tidy up to get you started,and have a chat while tidying is a good idea.tc tracy

MissChampers

25-10-06, 14:53

I used to be really house proud and hated the place untidy, but over the past couple of years with the anxiety and depression I can't motivate myself to do it. Don't get me wrong the house isn't filthy but my heart just isn't in housework anymore and I find it such a chore. The only time it's ever spotless is if I know i'm going to have visitors and that's why I dread people coming round because I have to start cleaning lol. I have got 2 kids who mess the place as soon as i've cleaned it and I think there's more to life than never ending cleaning. That's my excuse for being a lazy mere LOL.

sparkles

26-10-06, 13:58

Hi
I am a housework fanatic, i have a routine, my anxiety is worse if my house is untidy, i have been feeling depressed on the odd day lately so ive been writing down on a list what i am doing that day and i cross it off when it's done, after i am trying to sit down and eat lunch and have some "me time"
Take care every1

sparkles

26-10-06, 14:08

emster

26-10-06, 17:39

im so glad i read this post, i feel better that there are others like me!
i get loads of hassle off people for being crap at housework and hardly ever doing any, i too would love to have things tidy and spotless and am a great beleiver in nice surroundings making you feel better, but i can never motivate myself to do anything either exept on the rare occasion when i have a really good blitz which takes me all day in which i do not eat or rest until its all done + i get really over the top perfectionist about it + then end up completely exhausted + feeling ill from kicking up so much old dust.
I am planning to change my ways though, im thinking along the lines of all things in moderation. i thought perhaps if i write myself a daily weekly and monthly to do list of small tasks + stick to it it might help me to stay on top of things. I thought this way it breaks up the work into small bits so that it doesnt look so daunting and i wont feel that " i have to do the whole thing all at once because otherwise theres no point" anymore.

creatrix

26-10-06, 18:57

oh I love having a clean house, but I just can't get motivated to do it. When it finally does get done, it's gone in an instant.

ugy

26-10-06, 19:17

Sometimes the only way I can get motivated to clean up is to put some bouncy tunes on and pick up a duster before my mind figures out what I'm up to!
Like swimming in the Serpentine in the middle of winter, it's only lovely once you're in.

Any task, no matter how small, that can lift your spirit, no matter how little, has got to be worth a pop.

Take my adrenal gland. Please.

janie

26-10-06, 19:55

I really like a clean and tidy house but we have 6 in our family so it rarely tidy for any length of time. In fact, although I love the finished product when I have a good tidy up, it actually can make my anxiety worse when everyone comes home and throws their stuff about. Then I lose the plot (no patience at the moment) and tell them noone cares!!!

Can't win eh?

Janie xxx