need a bit of support

[nicbub]

Hi
I haven't posted on here for a while. I've taken my first day off work today from feeling depressed. Normally I struggle through with it and go to work regardless. I've been feeling extra low now for a while but today I woke up and just couldn't face going into work (there's issues at work too which aren't helping with my depression). When I told my husband I hadn't gone in because of how I was feeling, he wasn't very supportive, in fact he stated that I might as well clean the house seeing as I'm off! The last thing I feel like doing is hoovering and dusting. I feel like he doesn't understand me at all even though I've tried to explain to him numerous times about my condition. I know I need help but I came of citalopram a few months back and really don't want to have to rely on medication again. Counselling has never helped either in the past. Just don't know what to do. Now I've got anxiety about when I do go back to work, what people are going to think/ask and my husband being unsupportive when he gets home. Feel crap.

[Speranza]

Okay, try to break it down... I know it is hard to think straight when you are so exhausted.

You know you need help, that's the first thing to think about. So whatever you do or don't want to happen medically, you need at least to call your GP and make an appointment to talk about options. There are lots of different meds to try. If you are anxious about going back to work, you absolutely need to talk to your doctor about this and get his/her support.

Secondly, we know how hard people can find it to deal with our MH issues. Some people simply never 'get' what depression is. It's not necessarily that he is choosing to be unkind, he maybe thought housework would take your mind off things. He just doesn't understand.

Thirdly, don't beat yourself up about this. I am off work because of issues which brought me to such a state of anxiety that I've gone on meds for the first time in my life. I am now trying to pluck up the courage to get to a meeting which I need to have in order to move on from there, but I'm not ready - so I am giving myself time. Part of me feels very weak and wimpish, but another part of me is proud that I am finally putting myself and my needs ahead of everybody else.

You couldn't go in to work today, so you didn't. I think that shows great self-awareness and courage. Now see if you can call the doctor. Let me know...

Hugs. :hugs:

Gill x

[Annie0904]

If the citalopram was working for you then maybe you should go back on it. I have been taking meds for 10 years now. If it was a heart condition or other illness you would take them to keep well so why not meds for depression?
I am sorry your husband isn't being supportive:( Your health must always come first. Don't worry about taking a day off. maybe it would be a good idea to go back to your doctor? :hugs::hugs::hugs:

[Granny Primark]

I havent worked for a few years because of panic and anxiety which inevitably brings on depression.
I couldnt see what was happening but friends and family could.
Just wish id got out of job I loved before it effected my mental health.
Maybe its time to start wondering if its time you think about whats causing this?
I know mine was stress cus of family issues but im sure even though I loved my job it was the cause of all my problems.
Pse let us know how you are getting on.:hugs:
Best of luck.:hugs:

[nicbub]

Thanks for your replies. I have made an appointment with the doctor, don't know what I'm going to say yet but I need to talk through my options.

I don't know if the citalopram worked or not to be honest. I was always on it mainly for anxiety , I just can't ever remember a time when I felt completely ok. Depression has always been there on and off for as long as I can remember. Meds or not. I just feel like I need to try something different now.

[Spot-the-frog]

You have taken the first step by making an appointment with your GP. Keep an open mind in regards to medication, there are all sorts of meds that the doctor could recommend.

Sorry that your husband is not supportive, it is very hard for them to really understand what is going on, tell him that you have made the GP appointment and that you feel you need help.

Let us know how you get on :hugs:

[Speranza]

Do you think it might help to write things down too? It is so hard to focus when you go in about stuff like this. Maybe jot down the main points..? Last time I went to the doctors I did that, and I offered him the paper if he wanted it, and he said, "Fine - you talk and I'll read."

He saw everything he needed to know in the list of symptoms I had written down, and we took it from there. I would also mention that you feel unsupported at home because it may be there is somewhere local to support you, your husband or both of you. Well done for making the appointment. x

[nicbub]

That's a good idea I shall definitely write some things down thanks