EdenHazard
05-07-13, 00:08
Hello , since I was 16 years old I had light anxiety , I felt nervous on trains , bus , ... But It was not hard to live with. I had a really ****ed up life from my 16 to 19 (quit school , smoked weed , drank to much, insane clubbing ..) after that my anxiety became hard. But not super hard , I had a job , I had a girlfriend.. And then I became addicted to valuim for 2-3 years. In the withdrawel I lost my gf , my job , my selfrespect , lot of friends , my good lookin body (1m80 , 89kg , 10%bf) and worst of all my smile .
Now i'm 2 mounths clean and my anxiety is true the roof , I only can talk to +-10 of my good friends. I cant talk to girls (dunno why I was always a bit shy but now i'm just ****ed up and I know girls feel this so I avoid them) I hope i'm not creating a girl phobia.
i'm almost crying writhing this. In 20 days I go to a special facility to treath anxiety and in september I go back to school. But I dont know If I can recover. pftt srs I hate my life , I cant do shit (sober)
why is this world so ****ed up ? I just want to be anxiety free and i'm the happiest person on earth. I'n the withdrawel I had paranoia and suicide feelings , the paranoia went away but I dont know if the suicde went away.. Dont get me wrong I dont want to kill myself but i'm ****ing tired on this earth. And nobody understands me :(
btw sorry for my bad english
Now i'm 2 mounths clean and my anxiety is true the roof , I only can talk to +-10 of my good friends. I cant talk to girls (dunno why I was always a bit shy but now i'm just ****ed up and I know girls feel this so I avoid them) I hope i'm not creating a girl phobia.
i'm almost crying writhing this. In 20 days I go to a special facility to treath anxiety and in september I go back to school. But I dont know If I can recover. pftt srs I hate my life , I cant do shit (sober)
why is this world so ****ed up ? I just want to be anxiety free and i'm the happiest person on earth. I'n the withdrawel I had paranoia and suicide feelings , the paranoia went away but I dont know if the suicde went away.. Dont get me wrong I dont want to kill myself but i'm ****ing tired on this earth. And nobody understands me :(
btw sorry for my bad english