Hey. Im confused.

[Aspire]

Hey guys, i thought i would give this site a go and see if it would help me in anyway. I have to be honest, im not entirely sure whats wrong with me, im not sure if im suffering from depression, anxiety or what, ive not been to the doctors about it, and the thought of it scares the hell out of me. Im going to list a few of the things i feel, and i was hoping i could get the opinions off you guys before i actually force myself down to the doctors. Here it goes:

For as long as i can remember ive been feeling not myself, in fact i feel like i have lost myself. I push people away all the time and i constantly have a go at the people i care about, i feel hatred when i in fact love these people. It hard for me to have relationships with anyone, i feel like no one can handle me.
Im almost always feeling so low, i find myself crying for no reason or crying over the stupidest things. I can hardly ever get a good night sleep. I over think ALOT, it makes me down, but i just cant stop. I dont go out with friends mch anymore, when i do i find it exhausting to try and pretend to be happy, and before i go out (if i do because im forever cancelling plans) i get a nervous feeling. I find it hard to even walk to the shop on my own, it makes me feel anxious, when im in a shop i try to get someone else to pay for me. Even if im with someone, i dont really feel comfortable. I avoid things at uni such as a certain lesson where out teacher calls out people in class, in fact it made me so uncomfortable i quit going to that lesson completely. I cant keep a job because i find it hard to talk to any customers, before i even start work il have that anxious feeling. My driving lessons are the worst, i dread them every week, when it finally comes i work myself up so much thAt my hearts racing and i start shaking and feeling sick. I randomly get twitches, heart racing, chest pains, pains in other parts of the body, dizziness, feeling sick, i worry alot over everything. I have low self esteem. Sometimes i work myself up so much that i feel like im going ad and i just need to break free from my body. A few times i have felt what i can describe as my heart skipping a beat. I have headaches almost every single day. I get annoyed at people being around me or even outside my room, i get stressed up by this, i just feel like i need to be left alone.Ive lost interest in things i used to love doing. I have tried taking kalms tablets, they dont seem to work. I have probably missed stuff off but right now im feeling low and i cant sleep.
I would appreciate any advice or opinions if you could!

[Georgie_]

Hello, Aspire.
I am feeling exactly same way. I get incredibly anxious and work myself up so much that I feel like everything is impossible. I have developed a head tic, which is probably stress related and I also have hatred against my loved ones the majority of the time. You NEED to go and see your doctor, even though I have not yet myself as I am also feeling incredibly scared about the thought of it, I know it is the only way you can find out what is truly wrong.
Good luck, Georgie

[Sparkle1984]

Welcome to the forums. :)
If you're worried about going to the doctor's, I recommend printing out a copy of what you wrote in your post above, and giving it to them to read. You've explained yourself very well. Good luck with it, and please contact me if you need any more help preparing for your appointment. :hugs:

[Speranza]

Yes Sparkle, I wrote out my list and it is very helpful. Just read it through and think, if a good friend or family member told you they were feeling lik that, wouldn't you encourage them to go to the doctor? You deserve no less care from yourself than they do. x

[Aspire]

thankyou guys, :hugs: i never thought about taking in a list of how i feel and taking it to the doctor, thats a great idea. sparkle, i am going to try some of the things you have included in your list, im sure this will help me too.

Georgie, maybe we should both push ourselves to make appointments and let each other know how were getting on? :)
Mel x

[Seeking Freedom]

Hey Aspire. Don't worry, you're not alone. It must be very tiring for you to constantly feel anxious during the day. One of my worst features is that I over think a lot too & it does no use whatsoever! I used to feel really nervous about my driving lessons. So much so, I used to just go to them in a t-shirt, as I felt so hot with the pressure! However, I stuck it out and managed to pass my test! It wasn't easy, but I made myself do it. There are lots of little steps you can take to try and help. I bought the Overcoming Anxiety for Dummies book, use Rescue Remedy and listen to meditation on my computer. I also have a 20 min lesson saved on my phone for when I'm on the move and feel like I need to listen to it.

As for low self esteem, I'm the same. I've been recommended different CDs to listen to, such as those by Caroline Myss, you should try them. Something will help take the edge off. You have taken the right step by talking on here, as it can help to know you have some support.

Good luck with the doctors and in the meantime, try to find something that suits yourself :)