View Full Version : Full day alone!
Hey everyone, I'm getting a bit nervous right now, my family is going on a full day out & I'm going to be home alone tomorrow from morning until gone midnight, it's the first time I've spent that amount of time alone, well, probably in forever! Before I had anxiety I would of invited friends round to stop over with me, or made plans with them to do something but now I'm housebound and don't have anyone who can keep me company. I even get too nervous to be around other family members so I don't have anyone to spend tomorrow with! Getting really nervous and feeling sick, I know my thoughts are going to start racing tomorrow. They are now! What if this, what if that. I literally don't have anything to do either because I don't go out. Does anyone have any tips on how to cope being alone for so long and any ideas on what I can do to keep myself occupied? I know this probably sounds stupid that I can't spend the day alone, I just get so nervous! It's not normally a problem if my family is close by but they will be an hour away, so that's making me nervous too. Also everyone is going to be off out in the sun which is making me sad, I'm going to feel really lonely :(
We can keep you comopany!
I spend most weekends by myself since my anxiety has been bad.
Some weekends I keep busy, either by doing housework or decorating. I also play the piano and guitar, so that can keep me occupied for hours.
Other times I spend the whole time on the sofa reading, listening to music or watching crap tv.
Whatever you do, try to pick something you find relaxing and enjoyable.
I can relate to this, but luckily I'm able to go out which passes the time. I'd break the day up into chunks - don't see it as morning til midnight, but just focus on the morning first. Plan stuff to do - programmes to watch, a book, computer games, anything. Then you'll be at lunchtime. Then do the same from say 12 to 5. And then 5 to midnight. Or even smaller chunks if you prefer. That way you just focus on a couple of hours rather than the whole day. Good luck, hopefully it'll fly by.
Thanks B-Brain & Lizzie, will definitely split the day up into chunks, I think evening will be easier as I can start counting down till they get back ha ha! But the morning will be horrible, I can see it coming!
We can keep you comopany!
Thanks Speranza! :) I will definitely be around on here tomorrow!
Spot-the-frog
05-07-13, 19:29
Look upon it as some quality ME time. Think of things that you really like doing, have a nice long hot bubble bath when you get up, wash and do your hair. Do some jobs, tidy your drawers/wardrobe. Listen to music, watch a film, read a book, knit, sew, call a friend or relative for a good chinwag. Go on your pc/laptop, chat to us on here, check out FB, send emails to friends. Take time preparing a really nice lunch and dinner. Bake a cake, in fact do anything that you enjoy x
Yes we can keep u company..... But also there's something relatively straightforward that you can also do which I assure you will make things feel better..... And that's planning things that YOU can do tomorrow. Also tonight as well. Get busy. Don't sit and obsess over tomorrow. What you fear might not (& very like my will never) happen. Remember that. Seriously the fear IS worse than whatever it is in reality that u are fearful of happening.
So, jayjoe ... Are you up for it? C'mon.
What hobbies do you have? Do you like music? Maybe you could surf in YouTube or somewhere like spotify (which is free if u tolerate the adverts) and find some new music ? Maybe even try some genres or artists that are new to you or even ones that before, you haven't liked.
As regards housebound, I don't know your circumstances but do I have a garden at all? There is absolutely NO doubt that if you get busy doing stuff, you feel so very much better. Believe me, I am at a stage where I have been making myself do things. It has made a BIG difference to me. I find that the sense of achievement from doing things lasts for quite a while and the more I do, the more I find myself wanting to do things.
Also are you into Wimbledon? There will be a cracking ladies final tomorrow including a player they say "isn't a natural looking athlete" .... Which makes me laugh as she IS in the final after all regardless oh her physique. And the other player has such a lovely cheerful disposition and uplifting smile, it would be worth tuning in just to see her pleasant face.
So, what else.....
By the way it doesn't sound stupid at all. You aren't in the least but stupid. Far from it I understand where u r coming from. If I go back a few years when I was very depressed indeed, at my lowest ebb.... My partner had to go away for the weekend. How I wish I'd had a forum to tap into. It would have helped me so much ,that's y u need to stay in touch on here tomorrow because you'll feel much better for the contact.
Remember also that YOU can also help others here alot. So maybe delve thro posts that are relevant to you. Chances are you could well have plenty of input that will help someone else even when you are feeling pretty low yourself.
In closing, what I will say is ..... Think about it this way. You have a choice here that you can make. you can empower yourself and you are able to be in control tomorrow. You do not have to let this thing that you fear happen. Although the fear seems very real, You can stop it. There IS an alternative & one YOU can choose to implement.
So, you can allow events to spiral downwards in the way you anticipate, or you can decide to put the brakes on yourself.
Other posters have come up with good suggestions of things to do. So that's it, jayjoe. Get busy. Tell the fear it can get lost. You don't want it anymore. It can sod right off. At least for tomorrow and eventually forever.
Hope this helps.... But really I believe you can empower yourself and see tomorrow as a challenge.
Great advice Tessar, I know where to come when I need it! :)
If you clean the house it will keep you busy AND make you really popular with your parents. Good luck, you're gonna be just fine! xx
Great advice Tessar, I know where to come when I need it! :)
Oh thanku lizzie that's a very kind thing to say. You have out a big smile on my face.
How's it going? Had you thought of writing here what you are going to do during the next two hours, and then coming on two hours later and saying how it went?
Hey everyone, thanks for your advice! Well it's nearly half five and so far so good! I've had a few tiny negative/worrying thoughts mostly about health but have just got on and ignored them and distracted myself, luckily I think this sun is making me chill a little :) I've been keeping busy all day doing things for my mum's business, tidying, had a nice relax in the bath and just sat down to check in with you all. Will probably go and sort my clothes in a minute to list on EBay and then have tea and sit down with a few Sky movies and hopefully, fingers crossed I'll have got through today and avoided any full blown panic attacks, hopefully!!!
Feeling good so far, happy for not panicking but I'm a little jealous and sad I can't be out enjoying this beautiful weather, damn anxiety!
Anyway, I hope you're all having a wonderful day and enjoying the weather!?
Hi! :) Great to hear you are having a good day. Aren't you even able to get in the garden? Maybe that could be a future target for you.
It sounds as though you are having a really good day! I've done a little cleaning (fridge), a little shopping and some gardening which I keep putting off cos I'm not very good at it!
Yay, glad it's going so well!
Spot-the-frog
06-07-13, 18:11
Sounds like a great day - well done :yahoo:
Thanks Edie & Spot-the-frog, hope your both having a good day!
Thanks Speranza, glad you have had a good day too :) I'm no good at gardening either, too many creepy crawlies for me!! I've been in the garden a little bit, but didn't want to stay out as I don't have any cream and don't want to burn! (I'm pale and blonde!) I'm OK going in the garden though I do feel self concious because the fences are only low so people can see me, I wish I had more privacy because I'd be out there a lot more if I did! I just have problems when it comes to leaving the house/garden, especially when I'm alone :(
Yes we can keep u company..... But also there's something relatively straightforward that you can also do which I assure you will make things feel better..... And that's planning things that YOU can do tomorrow. Also tonight as well. Get busy. Don't sit and obsess over tomorrow. What you fear might not (& very like my will never) happen. Remember that. Seriously the fear IS worse than whatever it is in reality that u are fearful of happening.
So, jayjoe ... Are you up for it? C'mon.
What hobbies do you have? Do you like music? Maybe you could surf in YouTube or somewhere like spotify (which is free if u tolerate the adverts) and find some new music ? Maybe even try some genres or artists that are new to you or even ones that before, you haven't liked.
As regards housebound, I don't know your circumstances but do I have a garden at all? There is absolutely NO doubt that if you get busy doing stuff, you feel so very much better. Believe me, I am at a stage where I have been making myself do things. It has made a BIG difference to me. I find that the sense of achievement from doing things lasts for quite a while and the more I do, the more I find myself wanting to do things.
Also are you into Wimbledon? There will be a cracking ladies final tomorrow including a player they say "isn't a natural looking athlete" .... Which makes me laugh as she IS in the final after all regardless oh her physique. And the other player has such a lovely cheerful disposition and uplifting smile, it would be worth tuning in just to see her pleasant face.
So, what else.....
By the way it doesn't sound stupid at all. You aren't in the least but stupid. Far from it I understand where u r coming from. If I go back a few years when I was very depressed indeed, at my lowest ebb.... My partner had to go away for the weekend. How I wish I'd had a forum to tap into. It would have helped me so much ,that's y u need to stay in touch on here tomorrow because you'll feel much better for the contact.
Remember also that YOU can also help others here alot. So maybe delve thro posts that are relevant to you. Chances are you could well have plenty of input that will help someone else even when you are feeling pretty low yourself.
In closing, what I will say is ..... Think about it this way. You have a choice here that you can make. you can empower yourself and you are able to be in control tomorrow. You do not have to let this thing that you fear happen. Although the fear seems very real, You can stop it. There IS an alternative & one YOU can choose to implement.
So, you can allow events to spiral downwards in the way you anticipate, or you can decide to put the brakes on yourself.
Other posters have come up with good suggestions of things to do. So that's it, jayjoe. Get busy. Tell the fear it can get lost. You don't want it anymore. It can sod right off. At least for tomorrow and eventually forever.
Hope this helps.... But really I believe you can empower yourself and see tomorrow as a challenge.
I just want to say a big thank you Tessar, this really helped me! I read it last night and it really made me feel so much better, it's motivated me to keep busy today and just knowing that lovely people are here on this forum to help makes everything so much easier :D
---------- Post added at 18:38 ---------- Previous post was at 18:30 ----------
Eeeek, getting a tad more anxious now as my stomach is hurting a little (I have an old phobia of getting appendicitis which rears it's ugly head now and again) Best get busy and make some tea or something, keep my mind off it. I hope it stops!
You're probably hungry after such a busy day!
Hey jayjoe I'm really pleased you've done well.....and also that my post helped too, that's good to know. Funny (well not funny) that u mention the appendicitis thing. Sometimes I would get a pain and worry it might be that. Then I realised it was just one if those things.... like a bit of trapped wind or something like that.... In fact often I got it before I was about to play sport, so for me it was associated with tension but also because I got nervous as well it did affect the mother regions if my digestive system!! Still, I have learned over the years that the twinges I felt weren't anything more than a natural bodily function just blipping for a short while. It wasn't anything bad at all. Usually followed by a bit of good old wind!!
Oh thanku lizzie that's a very kind thing to say. You have out a big smile on my face.
Glad to make you smile! I thought it was great though, and very true!
Jayjoe - you've probably got your family home now, so WELL DONE! What a massive achievement. Hope you're proud of yourself :-)
:yahoo::yesyes::yesyes::yahoo:
YAY! :yahoo:Thanks guys, I did it! Had a little bit of worry but just got on with things, I think it's sometimes easier when you are forced into something, you just find the strength somewhere as you have no other option but to! They are home, had a fab time, didn't get back until gone 1 in the morning, slept in and have gone back out so I've practically been alone since Friday evening! The whole weekend and I've survived :) I have been lonely though and everyone said how they missed me and wished that I went with them to enjoy the day. Sad how anxiety not only makes you feel so bad within yourself but effects others too and makes you miss out on life, having fun and making memories. BUT, I am pleased at how I've coped so a step in the right direction I hope!
Tessar, that's really strange, I thought I was the only one who worried about it as I've never heard it mentioned before! I think that's the case for me too, anxiety plays havoc with the digestive system and all the tension in your body is bound to case some pains!
Congratulations & well done jayjoe....we all have within us the power to survive....next time you will be able to go too x
Yey!! So well done! Really proud of you! xxx
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