Really anxious

[joanne30]

I have been having refresher driving lessons with the driving instructor who taught me to drive 12 yrs ago. I passed my test first time with 2 minors. The thing is I have very low self-confidence, and I have been messaging him on facebook with a lot of negativity about my driving. Last night my anxiety was very bad, and I also said negative things about him. I have now unfriended him on fb and this morning I said I didn't want to drive anymore. I instantly regretted saying that and I apologised to him, and said if I could contact him in a few weeks for more lessons. He's ignored my message and now I'm really upset because he was a really good patient instructor and I don't want to get another instructor.

Please help
joanne30

[Speranza]

I'm afraid it sounds as though you have pushed him too far. You might have to find someone new, and chalk it up to experience... Social media are not ideal places for arguments. (If there is something you need to get off your chest, it is easy to type things and then delete, rather than pressing send).

He probably didn't want people seeing negative things about his tuition and he can't afford to take the risk that you will do it again. Unfortunately he has to protect his job. You are upset now, he has probably been upset too. So try to see this as a lesson in something other than driving. Do you know anybody who can recommend somebody else?

[joanne30]

The message were private messages, I wouldn't post anything that everybody could see.

[Speranza]

OK - but it still sounds as though he is very upset. All you can really do is wait to see if he responds. At least you have apologised. I'm sure most of us here have done simliar stuff, the problem is it can't always be undone.

What are you going to use the car for once you are driving again?

[joanne30]

The driving instructor contacted me and said I can have more lessons with him when I'm ready. Maybe I'm being cynical, but he doesn't want to lose me as a pupil because I will have to have quite a few lessons because I've Lost my confidence, and his business isn't doing so well, and I will spend quite a bit of money with him. He did say a few weeks ago, that me passing my test was his biggest achievement. I've sent him another friend request on Facebook today, but he hasn't accepted my request. That says it all to me, that he hasn't forgiven me for the messages last night.

Joanne30.

[nomorepanic]

Maybe he hasn't seen the friend request yet or wants to think about it.

If you get someone having a go then you are less likely to want that person to be re-added to get more grief if you see what I mean.

[joanne30]

I was thinking if I should change instructor. He's a good instructor, but the thing is that during my refresher lessons he texts on his mobile, and he also takes phone calls as well. I remember that when I was learning to drive with him fourteen years ago he used to do the same things. I know I am only doing refresher lesson with him, but I'm still paying for two lessons a week, which is expensive. I thought it was illegal for instructors to use the phone while on lessons. He also eats his lunch during my lessons, he was eating a tuna sandwich on my last lesson, the smell was off putting to say the least!!

I really need your advice about this.
Joanne30.

[theharvestmouse]

Social networking just seems to cause problems.

[Speranza]

You don't really need our advice, you know. You have answered your own questions very well if you read through and pretend your answers came from somebody else. :)

[joanne30]

I've decided not to go on facebook as much anymore. It has caused me nothing but problems in the past, also with whats gone on in the last couple of weeks, it's not worth the agro. It als makes me more anxious, because I see all my friends and family are out enjoying themselves and I'm at home all the time because I've been diagnosed with borderline agrophobic(sp), it just makes me feel so worthless.

joanne30

[Speranza]

Good call I think.

[joanne30]

I forgot to say that I'd need quite a few refresher lessons, with my confidence being so bad. He said that he hasn't got many pupils at the moment, maybe I'm being cynical in thinking that is why he wants to give me lessons. It took me two years to pass my test, so he knows that I'll need a few lessons to get my confidence back. The way I'm feeling at the moment, I might give up on driving altogether. You probably think I'm being stupid, asking this, would you go back to the instuctor? I don't fancy the thought of getting to know another instuctor, because I'm quite shy.