View Full Version : let it in
Just for today. Let it in. Let the fear in. Lay down the welcome mat.
Come on in fear. Let me get to know you.
What do you feel like. What's your qualities. Whats the experience.
What's your message?
Thank you fear. Thank you.
When I was a little girl I had all sorts of phobias. Not the usual ones, things like plugholes, toilets, vacuum cleaners and the word 'Aah!' to name a few. My family put it down to my emergency Caesarian birth, which left my hair standing on end for months. I have (and have) hyperacute hearing. I would stiffen like a Pointer dog as I sensed a siren miles away, long before the family heard it, and by the time it arrived I would be a gibbering wreck.
When I was about ten, I had had enough. And so I tackled my phobias one by one. And from somewhere, somehow, I had the notion of picking each one up by the scruff of the neck and staring it out until it went away.
That's what your post reminded me of. :)
Where do you get the courage from to welcome the fear in this is my problem, I am so scared to welcome it in I know that's what I have got to do to get through this but my mind/brain are petrified at the moment. As soon as I wake I go straight into panic/anxiety I lay in bed saying come on then but it is not getting any easier. :hugs:
When I was a little girl I had all sorts of phobias. Not the usual ones, things like plugholes, toilets, vacuum cleaners and the word 'Aah!' to name a few. My family put it down to my emergency Caesarian birth, which left my hair standing on end for months. I have (and have) hyperacute hearing. I would stiffen like a Pointer dog as I sensed a siren miles away, long before the family heard it, and by the time it arrived I would be a gibbering wreck.
When I was about ten, I had had enough. And so I tackled my phobias one by one. And from somewhere, somehow, I had the notion of picking each one up by the scruff of the neck and staring it out until it went away.
That's what your post reminded me of. :)
Beautiful!
Isn't it amazing that just by really staring into it that it starts to dissolve! You showed real courage to do that. And at 10 years old is amazing.
---------- Post added at 10:07 ---------- Previous post was at 09:57 ----------
Where do you get the courage from to welcome the fear in this is my problem, I am so scared to welcome it in I know that's what I have got to do to get through this but my mind/brain are petrified at the moment. As soon as I wake I go straight into panic/anxiety I lay in bed saying come on then but it is not getting any easier. :hugs:
Like speranza above, sometimes it takes a wearing down before you are forced into it.
It's not easy to let it in. Our natural reaction is to turn away, to tense up and resist it. We do everything to distract ourselves and avoid feeling it. And by doing so we feed the fear. It gets louder if we try to shut it out.
You can't say "come on then" and in the next breath say "no wait". Letting it in is like letting the waves crash over you and at the same time noticing deeply how the water feels. See what happens when you give it permission. When you give it space. Don't expect to feel better. This is not about just a technique to feel better but to really open your mind and senses to the experience.
It's by watching it, feeling it, understanding it, and listening to its message that it loses its bite. Try selftherapy.org for a good way to do this.
:hugs:
Thank you for your supportive words :)
I have no idea where I got the strength to do that. If I get stressed I still have phobic-style reactions but I can usually conquer them with self-talk. But my work situation finally pushed me over the edge into meds, and perhaps it's something I have needed for longer than I know? I don't know how much internal effort it has cost me to stay on top for 50 years - interested to find out how I am in a month or two.
Kim, you have probably seen that title, 'Feel the fear and do it anyway'? That sort of sums it up for me.
I have been wondering about starting a thread, and keep deciding not to, but the thought might fit here - when we boil it all down, don't all our fears end up being some manifestation of fear of death? I was terrified of it as a little girl, but when my Granny died and it was a place where the corpse was 'viewed', I saw that Granny simply wasn't in there any more.
I began to lose my fear of death and years later, it hardly ever bothers me. My only worries centre around the feelings of those I love, but I know that I have survived losing loved ones, and so will they. The few times I have fainted, I have thought, "Death must just be a nothingess, a not-knowing till afterwards." I think deep down, many of our anxieties are about not existing, not mattering...
Perhaps that would be a good puppy to take by the scruff, Kim? It can take years, but it's worth it. x
---------- Post added at 10:43 ---------- Previous post was at 10:41 ----------
I did once see a counsellor who pointed out that mosts of my phobias were to do with 'being swallowed up'. Aren't we complex?
Just for today. Let it in. Let the fear in. Lay down the welcome mat.
Come on in fear. Let me get to know you.
What do you feel like. What's your qualities. Whats the experience.
What's your message?
Thank you fear. Thank you.
Thank you incognito, I did it it was only 5 minutes but I have just left my house with out taking lorazepam for the first time in weeks and walked round the block the fear came but I managed to do the loop when my head was telling me go home. Your post hit a chord in me today I don't know why. Now I have done it once I know I can go a bit further tomorrow. :hugs:
I have been wondering about starting a thread, and keep deciding not to, but the thought might fit here - when we boil it all down, don't all our fears end up being some manifestation of fear of death? I think deep down, many of our anxieties are about not existing, not mattering...
I did once see a counsellor who pointed out that mosts of my phobias were to do with 'being swallowed up'. Aren't we complex?
yes yes yes. Its called fragmentation. different fears are just projections (fragments) from a deeper fear. And I think you are right in that it is a fear of death, of non-existence. Rupert Spira made a simple point that any emotion has two components. The emotion is always accompanied by a physical sensation in the body, and secondly, the emotion is always from a story (thoughts) about the self ("I"). Any anxiety to me stems from a fear of what will happen to the "me". Ultimately they are fears of loss of self, which includes the big one - death.
Thank you incognito, I did it it was only 5 minutes but I have just left my house with out taking lorazepam for the first time in weeks and walked round the block the fear came but I managed to do the loop when my head was telling me go home. Your post hit a chord in me today I don't know why. Now I have done it once I know I can go a bit further tomorrow. :hugs:
:yesyes: Fantastic stuff Kim. Each journey begins with but a single step.
Let the thoughts come too and know that they are only thoughts. Soon they too will begin to scare less and less as you believe them less and less.
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