goawaypanic
08-07-13, 15:39
Hello
Wow, there are so many of us!! New on here today, so thought I'd introduce myself as the title suggests.
I'm a long term sufferer of anxiety. Since Year 8 at school (17 years ago) I always had to stand outside the assembly hall because I feared feeling ill and having to stand up in front of everyone and walk out. I wish someone had addressed the problem then and not let it fester in to what it's become, but they didn't, I didn't, and it did. Apart from that, and the thought of flying (didn't fly for the first time until 10 years later) my anxiety wasn't too bad. I got on with everyday normal life. When I got a job after A levels at school, I had to commute by bus. At first, I always took a plastic bag on with me in case I was sick. Eventually, I didn't need the bag and the journeys were less anxious. So, generally speaking, life seemed bearable.
I had a daughter two years ago and at first I loved being on maternity leave. I enjoyed walking the half an hour walk into town, getting the bus back up the hill. I enjoyed meeting friends for coffee and going to the park. I enjoyed weekend trips to see my parents driving on the motorway. About 10 months later, I had, out of the blue, one almighty panic attack on the motorway on the way to my mum's (this was about a year ago) and I've not done that journey on my own since. The extra responsibility of having my daughter in the car, of fearing the need to stop halfway there and being stuck on the motorway, topped by visions of getting stuck in standstill traffic all kept me away from making the journey.
Now, I can't walk into town because I like to have a car near me, I can't enjoy days out with my husband and daughter, and my life has taken a real turn for the worst as I can't seem to look forward to anything anymore in case I panic, or wet myself, or go crazy! I've had therapy, which was a good eye opener, but it's putting it into practice that is the hardest thing for me. I know that I must acclimatise myself to the situations that make me fearful in order for the misconceptions to subside, but it's blimmin' difficult to do!!
Anyway, that's me in rather a large nutshell. HELLO wonderful people!!
Wow, there are so many of us!! New on here today, so thought I'd introduce myself as the title suggests.
I'm a long term sufferer of anxiety. Since Year 8 at school (17 years ago) I always had to stand outside the assembly hall because I feared feeling ill and having to stand up in front of everyone and walk out. I wish someone had addressed the problem then and not let it fester in to what it's become, but they didn't, I didn't, and it did. Apart from that, and the thought of flying (didn't fly for the first time until 10 years later) my anxiety wasn't too bad. I got on with everyday normal life. When I got a job after A levels at school, I had to commute by bus. At first, I always took a plastic bag on with me in case I was sick. Eventually, I didn't need the bag and the journeys were less anxious. So, generally speaking, life seemed bearable.
I had a daughter two years ago and at first I loved being on maternity leave. I enjoyed walking the half an hour walk into town, getting the bus back up the hill. I enjoyed meeting friends for coffee and going to the park. I enjoyed weekend trips to see my parents driving on the motorway. About 10 months later, I had, out of the blue, one almighty panic attack on the motorway on the way to my mum's (this was about a year ago) and I've not done that journey on my own since. The extra responsibility of having my daughter in the car, of fearing the need to stop halfway there and being stuck on the motorway, topped by visions of getting stuck in standstill traffic all kept me away from making the journey.
Now, I can't walk into town because I like to have a car near me, I can't enjoy days out with my husband and daughter, and my life has taken a real turn for the worst as I can't seem to look forward to anything anymore in case I panic, or wet myself, or go crazy! I've had therapy, which was a good eye opener, but it's putting it into practice that is the hardest thing for me. I know that I must acclimatise myself to the situations that make me fearful in order for the misconceptions to subside, but it's blimmin' difficult to do!!
Anyway, that's me in rather a large nutshell. HELLO wonderful people!!