Realization

[jayjoe18]

After controlling my anxiety successfully this weekend I'm really pleased but it's started me off thinking about my problems and I've come to realise that I've been suffering with this hell for a quarter of my life. A quarter of my entire life... already! Knowing that I've already wasted so much time because of this illness really makes me sad. I think you just get on with things and struggle not realising the amount of time that's passing by. I know I've had anxiety since about 12 but it's not until now that I've actually sat down and really taken note about how long this has effected my life. A quarter of my life nearly. Time has flown by and what really makes it worse is that I've not improved, it's gradually gotten worse for me. I don't know the point of this post, I just felt like I needed to vent. :weep:

[times71]

Nothing wrong with venting. The question to ask your self is a simple one. Why am I not progressing? You can sit there whining about how much of your life has flown by, but as you know that changes nothing. Rather than dwelling on that (what's past is past) try to figure a way to progress...

[Rennie1989]

I know how that feels. I've suffered from anxiety and depression since I was 13, almost half my life, to the point where I know no better.

Have you thought about getting therapy or counselling? If you've been like this for a large portion of your life then why let it continue and get worse?

[Speranza]

I was just the same - recently went onto Prozac and realised I'd been struggling on my own for over half a century - not bragging, just thought it might make you feel better! ;) I guess misplaced pride, or simply in my case, a lack of understanding about how less anxious life could be. I've literally always lived with anxiety so it never occurred to me to get help. I'm beginning to feel a real difference now though, it is so... restful.

[jayjoe18]

Thanks everyone. The thing that annoys me is that I have done the therapy, I've done 2 lots when I was in my early teens including a day centre for teens struggling with things and then I've also done 2 lots of CBT (the second lot of which I'm still doing, the first lasted a year!). I've also gone to a consultation for hypnotherapy but just couldn't relax enough. I didn't go to school for the last year/2 years but still managed to do my GCSE's and got into sixth form for a few terms but it all got too much. Everytime I do something the next time I come to do it again it's never any easier, the anxiety always stays the same.

Speranza you're not bragging at all! To have these sorts of problems for over half a century is just not fair! I'm really glad the Prozac is working for you :yesyes:

[theharvestmouse]

Apparently it takes doing something lots of times before it gets easier, and I mean loads of times. Tonight I had to meet someone at a pub, I still had to physche myself up to do it before I went in and I must have been in this situation a dozen or so times recently.

You have to remember that in progressing you hit many more new problems, its overcoming them that will give you the strength to carry on and change your life.

[Stormsky]

Past is past, even a second ago is the past..concentrate now on how you go forward..

[Speranza]

That's a useful thought, Harvest mouse.