First Good news then...Part 2

[ricardo]

I have decided to post an update as things have turned dramatically worse.
My daughter's stress levels had got out of hand and this in turn affected me even more so my wife and i decided that she should get a second opinion about her constant migraine from another doctor at our practice.

He also thought it was stress but suggested our daughter had another eye test.

At this stage I must point out that she had a couple of tests in Spain but as we found out they are not as thorough.

Poppy had an eye test and complained of a big grey/black floater in one of her eyes,and the optician sent her straight to the A&E at our local hospital which luckily has a Moorfield Eye unit. They discovered that the veins behind the eyes were squiggly together with pressure behind the eyes,and that if after further tests this which included a field test today and a further visit on Friday for the prognosis, and for a possible brain scan (which she also had in Spain ) and even a lumber puncture has scared us all to our wits end.

This needed to be picked up earlier as it could lead to blindness or even be fateful.

She is being stronger than me about all of this, but obviously has her moments, and I feel ashamed that the stronger I want to be the more anxious I get. In the middle of this is my dear wife. I literally fel il,l my back has given in with muscle spasms and I am running to the toilet nearly all day.

We will just have to wait until Friday the day I am supposed to start my own treatment.

[ElizabethJane]

Dear Ricardo I'm sorry that your daughter is unwell. Unfortunately stress is often reflected in our bowels. Stay strong as you begin your own psychological treatment. EJ

[Speranza]

Somebody else on here has recently had a similiar diagnosis but I can't think who - if you use the search posts facility and try eyes and veins, I think you will find it. Sorry for all the anxiety, it must be really difficult for you all.

[Magic]

Ricardo,
Sorry that your daughter is unwell. I do hope the eye trouble gets sorted.
Yes, stress does upset the bowels. That is so true .
I will be thinking of you and your family on Friday. Please if possible
keep us up to date:hugs:

[AuntieMoosie]

Oh Ricardo I'm so sorry that this has happened, but maybe in a way it's for the best, as now they will really get to the bottom of what it is that's causing Poppy's problems and symptoms.

It would have scared me half to death too, so I understand how you're feeling about it all.

Hopefully they can really find out what is the matter with Poppy and then be able to treat it and get her better, I know it's really scary right now, but just try to focus further down the line when hopefully Poppy will be made better from all of this.

Yes hun, anxiety and stress seems to always hit the bowels. I've had that all of my life now, if I'm upset or stressed and worried, it plays mary hell with my bowels!!!

I hope that everything goes well for you on Friday as you start your own treatment, I will be thinking of you, please let us know how it goes for you.

Sending comforting and supporting hugs :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[Spot-the-frog]

Hi Ricardo, sorry to hear that you are all going through a very stressful time but hopefully your daughters eye problem will now get sorted.

I can understand your stress, anything like that gets me running to the toilet too.

Let us all know how Poppy gets on and how you get on too.

:hugs:

[bernie1977]

I really do hope they get to the bottom of your daughters illness once and for all. It must be awful for you all not knowing exactly what is wrong. The stress of this takes its toll and it would seem is causing your toilet problems. My bowels and waterworks are always the first things affected with stress and anxiety.

I hope you let us know the outcome and how your therapy went.

Wishing you well xx

[ricardo]

Since I last updated things have in fact got worse. My daughter has been to A&E three times since my last post and had her assessment on Friday.

There are no conclisive conclusions which actually makes all of us especially my daughter feel even worse.Her migraine has got worse most probably as she is now even more anxious as there is apparently no treatment and the nurologist said she may have to live with this for the rest of her life.

They are now going to refer to The headache Clinic where I understand one of the treatsments is to give amatryptelene (sp) which she had before and didn't help.

I can't take it anymore and my own health,stress and anxiety have hit rock bottom.
Poppy as had every conceivable test from urine,blood, ct scan and MRI scan and nothing shows up, except a raised optic nerve behind one eye,which she may have benn born with, but no treatment was suggested.

The very day being Friday she went for the result i saw the clinival pyschologist but to be honest hardly took anything in as my daugher was in hospital all that day and my mind was fixed on hoping a breakthrough would be achieved.

I can't even distract myself,running to the toilet all day and even left the quiz last night which I usually enjoy.

Quite frankly I feel like giving up as I don't know which way to turn.

[Speranza]

Ricardo, I am terribly sorry for all your difficulties, and I am going to say something which may sound a bit blunt.

First, background. I had to deal with a teenage daughter who was desperately ill for seven years and who could have died a couple of times, Thank god she didn't, but I had all the hospital dashes etc plus was newly-divorced. I know that feeling as you wave them off to theatre and then your bowels turn to liquid inside you. I know what it is like to dissolve into tears at work and to want to run away so I didn't have to cope alone any more.

Yes, I know that feeling of 'I can't take it any more'. I am so, so sorry for you.

Here is the blunt bit. Neither can Poppy. She needs her dad to be strong for her. I know this sounds awful but I am assuring you that as parents, when we switch the focus off ourselves and onto our kids, we CAN do it.

Believe me.

With sympathy from the bottom of my heart.

Gill

[ricardo]

Dear Gill

When I said "I can't take it anymore" I mean for my daughter who by the way is 24, has a degree in Business management with a foreign language, but it is difficult to put into words but she is very child like,not street wise yet not molicoduled but something is amiss in her head.She wants a life,go out and enjoy herself but the constant pain stops her. Last night she baby sitted for a friend locally and after two hours had to come home with pain and my wife took over.

Every single day is like this and anyone without my problems would find it difficult to cope with.
I never show a weakness in front of her but having a very restriced life and extreme GAD my body is taking the toll.

[Speranza]

Of course. I think when our children are ill they immediately become our babies again. I can only tell you that you can get through. I believe I began by taking it a day at a time, then it got down to an hour at a time. The worst thing is not being able to see any end to it, isn't it... :( I am truly sorry but I do know people who cope with extremely difficult health situations and find the positives, that is the help your whole family will need, and it will take time. I am glad you have the support of a doctor, use that support and talk through everything; try to see your appointments as time for YOU, and make the most of them. I wish I had had somebody like that to help me, please don't waste the opportunity to get that vital support.

The truth is, if the situation cannot be changed, we have to find ways to cope. It's like having a stone in your shoe. Either you get rid of it, or eventually the blister and hard skin allow you to walk anyway.

Much love to your family.

[ricardo]

Thank you for your advise and input,Gill.

[Speranza]

My heart goes out to you. It's bad enough struggling on your own account without all this. I hope she improves in some way soon.