View Full Version : Who have you told about ur anxiety & did it help?

10-10-06, 19:26
Personally I have only told 3 people. My doctor, a psychiatrist and my mum. Sometimes I wish I could just tell everyone. I am not ashamed (ok maybe a little bit), I just think some people would get freaked out and that it's not fair to dump something like this on people. Also, I wouldn't want to be treated like some kind of mental case or the other extreme of overly sympathetic people which would undoubtably happen. On the other hand im sure it would take a huge weight off my shoulders as I spend alot of energy and worry trying to hide my condition from others. Im caught in the middle. I do think it's a good idea to tell people though, just the "right" people.

10-10-06, 19:48
Hello confusedbylife, i really do,nt mind telling people about my anxiety,my family are very surportive ,and try to understand me i am not ashamed of how i feel just confused. The why me comes into my head alot, i would give anything to be normal[what ever normal is] but for now i know that i am not alone and i will baet this.Anxiety is a bully fight fight and you will win. we,re here for you. lorrainexx

10-10-06, 19:51
I have told as many people as possible - anyone that's interested - not that i want to bore them, but you'd be amazed at how many other people out there are suffering from the same condition but are hiding away and feeling too ashamed to tell anyone how they're suffering.

Once I start speaking about it they can then open up too. Talking really helps and sharing experiences is helpful too, plus I found that while I was listening to other people's problems I thought less about my own and this has helped tremendously in my own recovery.

10-10-06, 21:29
I told my sister and two very close friends. I recently told my boss and a close colleague who I really trust. They've all been really understanding. I haven't told my mum though. But I can never be sure of her reaction. She's very much of "its all your own fault", and "pull yourself together" type. She said years ago to me while I was signed off work with depression I should just pull myself together and I was making everyone else depressed too! So I guess I think carefully about who I tell.

My boss is great and my friends have been supportive. But like many other sufferers, I do not want people to think I am "just over-reacting" or going mad, or my judgment can't be trusted because of my mental illness. Mostly its lack of understanding that causes people to think this way. But it doesn't help if you tell the wrong one... I've been lucky (or careful).


10-10-06, 23:00
Hi,its better to tell people,at least the ones closest to you.Then they can support you and be there for you.It would take a big wieght of your shoulders.
Take care:D:D

Ellen XX

17-10-06, 11:20
Hi, i've suffered with anxiety and panic attacks for 16 years now but I haven't really told anyone about how bad I sometimes feel. I tried telling my parents a while back that I felt anxious and had panic attacks but they weren't really interested so i've just kept it to myself. Lately i've felt very anxious and my partner just laughs and calls me a nutter so i've just suffered in silence telling myself it's all in my mind and I need to pull myself together but of course that never works.

"It doesn't matter who you are, it's what you do that takes you far"

18-10-06, 14:36

I've only been suffering for just over a week but I've been telling everyone. Although it can be a wee bit embarrasing, at least they know if I'm not quite right. Plus if you think about it, it would just be yet another thing to bottle away!!! ;)

I was talking to a friend from work the other day and she told me she's been suffering for about 3 years but hadn't told anyone and she was glad she was finally talking to someone else who knew how it felt.

It's such a common thing nowadays, it's suprising how many people turn around and say 'Oh, I know how you feel, I get like that too!!'

Mo x

Never play leapfrog with a unicorn......

19-10-06, 18:39
hi, i totally agree that it's good to tell people, i've told my mum, my close friends and my doctor and counsellor. it hekos to get things off your chest and there are so many people with this prblem you're bound to know a few people who have similar anxieties. hope this helps, take care x

24-10-06, 19:45
I dont tend to tell people about my anxiety - i dont think its because im ashamed but because i think that i will never recover fully if people treat me differntly (i dont know if they will ) I find that i judge my "normality" on peoples reactions to me. I know that sounds pathetic but thats just what Ive always done. I tend to strive to talk more and be more confident socially as once upon a time I did come across as totally ignorant because i just wouldnt speak or express myself at all. Although i have come along way since then i do find it very tiring and am just not naturally confident at all. I so self conscious!

24-10-06, 22:57
I worry about telling people because I dont think that they will under stand the true scale of things. I think some people will just think everyone gets anxious sometimes. Its not a big deal!

24-10-06, 22:57
I worry about telling people because I dont think that they will under stand the true scale of things. I think some people will just think everyone gets anxious sometimes. Its not a big deal!

24-10-06, 22:58
don't know what is happenin but it keeps posting tiwce. Sorry

27-10-06, 19:11
I find it very hard to open up to people. I even find it hard to open up on hear. Yesterday my manager wanted to talk to me to see how I was as there had been some (unrelated) problems at work. I ended up in tears and realised just how much I had let everything build up in me. I think it is important to open up to people, it's just so hard to though!!

29-10-06, 06:45
Hi, I have told all my family and most of my older friends. I found telling them was the best thing I could of done, as now I don't have to hide my anxiety. For example, before I had told any of my friends and I got invited down the pub with them, I would be in a right state knowing that waves of panic would go through me and worrying whether I would be able to stay there until the panic subsided and was anybody noticing. After telling them, if I felt panicky, I knew that all I had to do was let them know I wasn't to good and I could leave. The fantastic thing about it, is that after I told them about it and I knew I wasn't "trapped" anymore, the panic attacks stopped in those situations:D.
It is very hard to tell people about mental health problems especially if you're a bloke I believe, and I agonised over it for years, but I was forced to after things got so bad and I wish I had done it years earlier now...Rob.

29-10-06, 23:55
The thing is that I wouldn't dare tell my family for fear of their over-reaction. I had some medical problems when I was younger and I felt smothered.
As for telling friends, well theirs no one to tell really.

30-10-06, 10:41
I've found its best to tell just people you deal with on a daily basis. When I first had this badly about 2 years ago, I felt really glad when I came out the other side and thought there was gonna be a new me! I told people the truth and hoped that would solve many problems for me. I have found that to be the opposite, especially from work colleagues. Any time I was off work with something trivial like a temperature etc there would be rumours flying that I had suffered ' a relapse' etc and when I returned to work the next day I would be questioned almost disbelievingly about why I had been off.A horrible feeling.I am sad to say some people actually seemed to get some humour out of my situation.

Family wise, my mum knows and has helped me out no end. My sister has too and they never pressure me into doing things i feel i cant - I wonder if Id have been so understanding if they had this and I didnt. I like to think so but I doubt I would have beem able to appreciate the full horrors of what its possible to go through with anxiety.

30-10-06, 22:52
I've been thinking a lot lately about being more open with people but, as you've said missacorah, it has to be the right people. There's a particular person I work with who, I'm pretty sure, thinks that I don't like her. Have been contemplating telling her but not sure yet and not sure when to do it! I am gradually making some friends on the net and made it a point to tell two people yesterday from a friendship site about myself. One person has already written back and she was really positive so that has been very reasuring.

I live at my sister's house and she knows about my ups and downs but I would never tell my parents as they really wouldn't know how to handle it and would just add to the pressure and anxiety.

30-10-06, 23:20
I guess it just goes to prove what I already thought. It seems to depend on the people you tell. Some can be immature and find it funny (I know the type) and some would be understanding. I think I need to tell some more people which would make things a bit easier but it always just seems so easy to put it off. I think it's more a guy thing, showing weakness and all that. I noticed a survey a while ago that said something like twice as many females attempt suicide than males, but only 20% of females are successful whereas about 80% of males were successfulif they attempted it. I found that quite striking. It confirms the fact that guys tend to bottle things up alot more until it's too late and then crack, whereas girls must see suicide attempt as a cry for help and more of a way to raise a flag for help. I know my sister attempted suicide twice, and is still here.

31-10-06, 00:31
I do agree that men possibly do bottle things up much more than women. I definitely bottle things up. I had to have a chat with my manager at work last week about something completely unrelated but that has caused some stress and I ended up in tears. I didn't realise how much things had mounted up inside me until it all came flooding out! Afterward I felt a lot better.

02-11-06, 14:42
hello all
i seem to have a 6th sense about who i tell about my anxiety its kinda weird but the people ive told either have suffered from it thereselfs or know someone who has and are generally sympathetic .i find talking about it greatly helps me as im pretty insecure and a sympathetic ear is a great comfort .Most of my blood family apart from my wife and kids are dead thats what started my anxiety and panic in the first place. ive got a brother but he,s about as much use as a chocalate fire guard when it comes to understanding anxiety and as many of you know you cant keep burdening your husband or wife with yor problems as it wears them down,so i need to tell as many people who i think i can relate to other wise i think i would either end up in a phsyciatric ward or worse .This illness is a f..k..g nightmare pardon my french, so my advice would be dont bottle it up get it of your chest and keep using this website
good luck everyone Mick

03-11-06, 17:42
Hi.I told a few people but many think Im weak or tell me to stop feeling sorry for myself.
Even the dreaded pull ~yourself together~ was told to me many times.
Did it help,not really.
People dont understand unless they have or are going through it.
Not all,some people are ok.
It does put a strain on things and people expect you to get over it.
Can get boring to them after a while.
So I do tend to bottle things up a lot.
I wouldnt wish anxiety on anyone and it really is the pits.

Love and best wishes.

03-11-06, 18:13
I suffer from similar feelings in regards to telling people, i recently started a new job 4 weeks ago. A job i've always wanted to do so i was really happy but nervous as you would expect.

Well since starting my panic attacks have really kicked off after being free of them for quite a long time. One of the major fears was that people at work would see me as weak and incapable. This made the situation worse. I had major panic attack one morning last week and had to leave, but after sitting my mentor down and telling him what was going on. Surprisingly he said that he had been through the exact same thing a few years back. Well from that i felt a lot better that someone kind of understood how i felt and then allowed him to inform the other members of staff why i was taking a couple of days off.

I am worried as i said that they may think i'm a bit of a nutjob and that as there is no physical symptoms like a bloody missing leg that i am making it all up.

I was off again today after a heavy day yesterday, i am worried that i may never be able to truly get over it this time but that's my head trying to get the better of me. I think many of you know that feeling.

Anyways sorry for rabbling on, it's good to get this off my chest, it's funny how now when i think of work it makes me feel really crap and anxious, i hope it goes away!

----Time exists just on your wrists so don't panic ----

05-11-06, 12:44
Hope you manage to get back on your feet and return to your dream job. Its good you have told someone you can trust and even better that they have had some experience witha similar thing - keep us informed.

05-11-06, 23:10
I have told my family, partner and friends, my friends havent pushed me about it, I have explained why, and it means that when I see them I know I can escape if I need to without seeming strange! I was supposed to sleep over with 2 friends last Friday, but before I went I text them and explained I might not, and I went there and enjoyed myself but didnt sleep over, but they didnt even ask why I was leaving, it was great.
On the flipside, I started a new job in August, and recently had 3 weeks off with a water infection and associated anxiety, I was truthful with my boss and I got the sack!!!!!!!!! [8)]
So I would only tell people I can trust!!