Long post/Looking for some feedback

[sedohrrelyt]

Hey guys, I'm just posting again to get some feedback. I'm pretty sure that anxiety and panic runs in my family pretty heavy. My brother, and two of my cousins struggle with it like me. My brother however seems to have beat it pretty much and I ask him everyday how he did it. He tells me everytime that he basically forced himself to get over it. He never became agoraphobic like me, he said he nipped it in the butt before that. He says that he basically would call himself a pussy and just make himself do things. As much as I try to do that it's like impossible. I'm 20 and have been suffering for about 5 years now. Haven't worked a job because of it, dropped out of school, everything. Back when I was in school and stuff, I did feel like I wasn't as bad. Once I let the agoraphobia set in and stopped hanging out with my friends and being stuck in my house all the time.. That made me so much worse. I mean.. I have panic attacks at home too so it's not like it stops my panic attacks or anything. I've been to 2 counselors but I didn't really like the first one and the second one was way too expensive. I thinking that I need a real psychotherapist or someone more qualified.. I'm starting to read stuff that saying that anxiety is a life long illness and that you never get over it.. Like, there's no hope of improving your life. That scares me so much.

Also, I have a serious question that's really been bothering me. I get anxiety about like.. Me and me being in my body. Like, everything feels very strange. I don't know if it's a form of derealization or not. But it's like anxiety over noticing myself, as in noticing my body. It's really hard to explain! I can't even put it into words. I just have times where I really notice every movement and life feels really strange. How my brain is controlling every movement and how my body works or whatever. It's like I don't feel all in sync with my body. It feels like me and my brain are on another level as my physical body. Which makes me feel like i'm going completely insane and I already have that fear so this just keeps adding more fear.

Sorry for how long this was, I just had a lot on my mind. If anyone could respond, I would be very thankful.

[times71]

Hey dude

Your brother is right. You can take all the best pills, read all the best books, talk to the best people, the only route of healing is facing up to the things you fear. The people who say "its a life long illness" are the one's who are quite happy to shy away from doing the mentioned above. Three years ago I could not walk into my local shop. Two years ago I went Hong Kong. It's bullsh*t to say it's life long. My advise based and what I did was every evening or early morning I would go out for a walk, ipod in ear, and progressed from there. The main thing is you need to get out. The strange feeling thingy is normal dude, I had it all the time, try and see it has a comedy moment... the mind is a powerful tool, and yours is being playful with you.. nothing to fear dude. If you are on xbox or ps3 or anything send me a PM. We can race some tracks and swop tips.

good luck dude

[Speranza]

Glad to see somebody else fighting it with humour!

Sounds like you have a panic-buddy. :)

[flossie]

Hi. Your feelings of noticing every movement of your body sounds like the fight or flight thing. Your anxiety is making your body ready to run from danger so you are aware of every beat of your heart, every muscle twitch. You become hyper sensitive to sights and sounds. Recognise the feelings for what they are, just feelings. You are not in any danger and these feelings are misplaced.
This is where the deep breathing exercises really come into play and you can use them to lower your heart rate and anxiety levels.