St John's Wort, Valerian & Rescue Remedy?

[MrsStobe13]

Hi folks,
I am just coming out of a serious few years of depression and anxiety and it's finally been tallied up that it was my hormones worsening my GAD to near intolerable levels. I've had constant violent thoughts and I've been high with anxiety a lot of the time because I've been so worried about attacking someone.

Anyhow, I'm now off of those pills and back to trying to get normal me back. I've started taking St John's Wort and wondered if I can take Valerian to ease the agitated feelings I've been having, too. Also, Rescue Remedy pastilles when I get really, really bad? I've taken two St John's Wort tablets today and about 3 Rescue Remedy pastilles. The day has been bearable and I'm not feeling like I'm about to go quite so crazy. Frankly, I don't plan ever to come off of St John's Wort now, it seems to be very beneficial for my anxiety.

I've maybe over Googled a bit and assured myself I'm a serial killer. I get really anxious with a racing heart and tell myself I'm one of "them" people. I feel really ashamed and moritifed about how my family would feel. I even had to go to the shop earlier to get electricity, I felt like I was about to hit the shop assistant for no reason other than that my anxiety was telling me to. I'm still no nearer to getting myself any CBT but to be honest I'm not sure there's much they can do for me. I already make myself touch knives and handle them around people and myself. Just to prove to myself despite how anxious I feel, I have no desire to go through with these thoughts. I think about killing myself when I think about killing someone I love, and I think about not doing anything when I think about killing myself. I;m just all round an anxious mess. It's always worse around the week before my period (sorry if that's TMI) but on hormonal pills I feel like I'm going crazy.

I don't plan to take this cocktail for more than a month or two. I know an anti-depressant would probably be recommended by my GP but I much prefer a homeopathic route and have definitely found St John's Wort to be gentler in the past, whilst making an almost immediate change to my anxiety. If anyone can cast some thought onto this idea I'd appreciate it. Obviously, I don't want to knock myself for six! lol

Thanks all

MrsS x

[Stormsky]

Your not a serial killer ..you more likely a gentle natured person who wouldn't harm a fly.
Serial killers don't worry or get scared by thoughts, and don't seek help on forums..
You need to tell these thoughts you know they're false, and your not listening to them anymore.

[MrsStobe13]

I tried, I had my friend here last night. I actually thought I was going to see her off then go and kill my husband. I was hot, clammy and terrified. It's like a panic attack, except this time I don't feel like it's me who's about to die, but me who's about to act in a bid to get rid of these thoughts and harm someone else. I'm just hoping by ridding myself of nasty artificial hormones they'll go soon.

MrsS x

[jackie13]

Hi MrsS

So sorry you are going through this:(

I think I am currently peri menopausal and have a similar thing to you, have you spoken to your Doc? Maybe tell them you want to stick with natural remedies but perhaps there is an important vitamin that you need right now.

Just a thought.

Sending you big hugs xxxx

[MrsStobe13]

Hi Jackie,
Many thanks for your thoughts and sorry to hear you're having a tough time, too. It's so horrid being up then down again, ain't it? :-(

I actually seem to be a bit brighter today, it's day 3 for no more hormonal pills and day 2 of the St John's Wort.I bounced out of bed this morning and feel like actually doing something in myself. I still have the thoughts, but I'm beginning to tolerate them now and know that they are most likely linked to hormones & GAD. I have been doing some homework and have found a few articles that have said women with pre-existing mental health disorders (such as myself) should be prescribed progesterone-only contraceptives with caution because it can worsen anxiety & depression. I do think there was a failure to consider that when I was prescribed it but hey, hopefully I'm on the mend now :-)

Hope things settle down for you soon. I will do some research into the natural remedies side of things. I think I'm going to change my GP practice too as I don't seem to be getting an awful lot of support there, either.

Sending big hugs to you too and hope you feel well soon.

MrsS x

[Speranza]

Just make sure you leave a gap between finishing meds and using St John's Wort. It's fine but not in conjunction with some meds.

[MrsStobe13]

Speranza the SJW is the only thing I take now. To be honest the mood swings have been so horrendous that I've not needed the contraceptive for it's intended purpose, the dragon within keeps him away all by herself! lol

MrsS x

[Rennie1989]

They sound like intrusive thoughts. I know you're a good person, do you know why? Because only good people have intrusive thoughts. You are repulsed by the thought of harming others, so you feel sympathy, empathy and remorse. A psychopath does not. So rest assured you are fine :)

If they are getting to you, to the point where you're disturbed by them then you should see a doctor.

[MrsStobe13]

Rennie1989 thanks for your advice. I know they're my anxiety but do you think I can shift them? I just hate it because I'm so sure I'm about to act on them. It's weird, I get caught up on them, then when I'm with that person, zip! gone! I had thoughts of harming my friend yesterday when I went to the shop to get electric. I actually thought I was going to go home and stab her. When I got home though, the thought was gone. Same with my husband, some nights I am sure I will kill him, once I actually go and cuddle up to him they go.

I am finding the St John's Wort already beneficial and I found some quality time with hubby last night (ie cuddling for a film, not trying to puzzle while he swears at the xbox) was quite beneficial so I'm hoping. I'm off of all hormonal meds now for 3 days and I do already feel different in myself. I don't mind the intrusive "I'm going to die" thoughts so much as it's only me, feeling like I might kill or hit out at people though is much more uncomfortable. I'm going to see how the SJW does me for a while but hopefully I have a winner here!

MrsS x