scared shaking in my room

[gem7]

i feel more scared and feel shaken reason been two nights tuesday and thursday heard like someone banging on my door at half ten in the night my sister opened door yesterday when she got off phone to my brother and all she could see was a cat up the road i.m so scared if i hear it tonight i just had a cry in the toilet who ever is doing that is making me worse its making me not want to sit down stairs at all when i spend all day in my room anyway only the evening that i go downstairs to watch tv i said if we hear it again for my sister to open the door fast to see whos doing it i dont need this its making me more in myself i find it so hard to relax in my home then when i did feel abit relax then that happens now thinking that i think everyone is out to get me thinking could it be one of my neighbours doing it cos if they know the way i am if there doing it to try and make me move well its not going to work i only go when landlord dont want to take me on anymore and that day i am dreading cos it was really hard to find this place i.m in now i feel so low today i got blind in kitchen whitch i havent opened in a while cos of the way i am and my anxiety has gotten worse maybe they notice that but that no reason to do that to us we have done nothing to no one we just keep to ourself & cos of my anxiety & depression i have lamp on for abit then i turn it off then just sit with the landing light on the stairs it makes living room more darker i like watching tv like that i feel more comfortable doing that but still if they notice that . that is still no reason to do that and make my life more hell when i.m going through anuff i am really considering killing myself i havent left the house since june 4th only done two days out the house thats all i could handle since then i havent felt up to going out i could really use some support here thanks :weep:

---------- Post added at 17:39 ---------- Previous post was at 16:44 ----------

when i mean banging sounded like someone punched door hard then ran two nights i have heard this my mind feels so muddled i just dont know what to do anymore just feel like taken the easy way out :frown:

[Oosh]

Hey, relax. Probably just kids. Annoying at best.

The only people who'd knock and run are immature people. And they'd stop if it gets no reaction.

Don't worry it's anything to do with you. If you spend all your time indoors why would anyone know you exist, let alone know whether you're in an anxious state or not.

Kids at the most. Forget about it. If keeps happening at half ten stick a mobile phone in bedroom window at that time and video record it.

[gem7]

thank god didnt hear it last night but was keep looking at the clock i.m so paranoid i couldnt stop worrying then i think it might happen tonight instead people who do that are immature need to grow up it could be just kids but i dont know as i didnt see who it was just heard the big hard punch on my door it made me & my sister jump that is a good idea to video record it if it happens again but what if it dont come out as the time they do it by ten it gets dark i know since i heard it its making me worse last night cos i was scared had my light on down stairs when i usely turn it off when i feel i dont want it on anymore but yesterday i didnt i had it on till i went to bed at 11pm i dont think i will be able to relax for a while now i be uneasy all the time when i.m down stairs :frown: