Intrusive Thoughts?

[peelio81]

Hello all,

Just wondering if anyone else has had an experience like mine. I sing in a band and hence am around pubs a great deal and I do like a drink also. But within the past couple of months if i'm in a pub that isn't familiar or maybe not a lot of people I know are there, I get this thought of throwing my pint glass at someone! It's such a strong thought that I have to leave the place in fear that I might actually do it. I can't even pick up my glass I just need to get out.
There is no anger or even anxiety (I have had panic disorder for 15 years) just a screaming thought of throwing my glass. I must say though, if I am in a familiar pub with mostly people I know, the feelings simply aren't there.
I have read about intrusive thoughts and it probably is that but, has anyone else had such powerful thoughts that they have to leave the situation in fear they might do something awful?

[theharvestmouse]

I've had ver bad intrusive thoughts but not to the extent they made me leave the situation, I had to say to myself deep inside that I will not act on it, its just my brain having a thought.

[MrsStobe13]

Hi,
I suffer with intrusive thoughts (random thoughts of stabbing people) and I can relate all too well to how powerful they are, I've only just started to recover my life from these horrors. You say you have panic disorder, could it be a panic response to being in an unfamiliar pub? I notice you say you don't get it in familiar pubs. Try purchasing the Imp of the Mind, I was guided to it by many people on NMP and I have to say I'm finding it very beneficial as it discusses intrusive thoughts in detail, as well as ways to recover from them. Try finding someone you can trust to talk about these thoughts. When you actually say them out loud and discuss them with someone you trust they can actually seem a lot less threatening. The thought will seem worse and more likely if you keep it bottled up and it can make you feel depressed.

Also, and I really hate being the bearer of bad news, try and watch how much you drink. I find my anxiety increases when I drink and in these scorching temperatures a chilled cider sounds very inviting. However, ever after just one cider my thoughts can go from feeling surreal and barbaric to a real threat. That's not to say it's entirely true for you, but the alcohol may be causing you completely unnecessary suffering.

Best wishes and :hugs:

MrsS x

[peelio81]

Thanks so much for the replies, it's good to know you're not the only one.
Mrs S, I'll check out that book thank you. Alcohol isn't a good thing with my anxiety either but it can be very hard to resist temptation when i'm in pubs a great deal due to playing with my band. But I must admit I feel a lot better when I don't drink, it's something i'll need to maybe just cut out.
The thing that really troubles me is I have never had these thoughts before? I was on citalopram for 2 & 1/2 years and then weaned off them in Jan this year under the docs advice. And it's the last couple of months I've started to get these horrible thoughts.
So is this panic? Is it something else? Am I going over the edge mentally? Also did the citalopram cause this?
I will see my doc next week and see what happens

[MrsStobe13]

peelio81 you have my sympathy, I really wish I could give you a hug right now!
You're not going over the edge, you're just suffering a symptom of anxiety/panic. Whilst nobody can say for sure that you won't act on your urges the amount of distress they cause you is very clear. Essentially, it's a panic/anxiety attack. It's not an urge you want to act on, but feel as though you might. If I were you, I would go back to your GP and speak to them about your anxiety. Hopefully, they can help you overcome them.

Best wishes

MrsS x

[Tish]

Hi Peelio,
I've suffered from intrusive thoughts which made my anxiety a whole lot worse. I've overcome it from the advice I've read on here so look up some links. It's really hard but the only way is to completely ignore the thoughts and not to let them worry you.
I've been doing really well but recently had a bit of a relapse and that was after having a drink, it really doesn't help. I was chatting with friends and had an (almost) overwhelming urge to say something inappropriate. I was sweating, my heart was pounding and I wanted to flee, all the symptoms of a panic attack. I refused to run away and let it beat me but it was really hard so I know exactly how you feel.

[MrsStobe13]

Peelio81 just to let you know you can combat this. I went to the doctor's this morning, almost an anxious, unconsolable wreck. He put me on 40mg propranolol twice daily and referred me for CBT. Please speak to your GP, I bottled it up inside for so long and it only makes it worse.

Best wishes

MrsS

[peelio81]

Docs today, i'll let you's know what happens. Thanks again for the advice and nice comments, very much appreciated :)

[Emphyrio]

Hi peelio,

What you are saying is very similar to my experiences - I have thoughts of either harming myself or others - even though its the last think I want to do. Apparently though, most people experience some kind of thoughts like this in their lives - for example, most people, when driving, think "what if I swerve across into the opposite lane". The difference between 'normal' people and people diagnosed with 'pure obsessive' OCD is that the former generally shrug off such thoughts as stupid, whereas the latter group find these thoughts stay with them for longer and find them extremely distressing.

I think there is a very strong likelihood that you may be experiencing some form of protracted withdrawal from citalopram thats making you feel more anxious. What dose were you on and how quickly did you taper off it? Maybe you could try going back to 5 or 10mg and see if your system can handle it - you'd need to give it 6 weeks though - it may help. Some people say that a taper off SSRIs should be done over months or even a year or two.

If you don't want to go down the SSRI route again, then the best thing to do is to keep your central nervous system as relaxed as possible. Cut back on caffeine, drink lots of chamomile tea, take light exercise, get enough sleep etc. Passionflower extract is apparently a good natural sedative if you want something a little more calming.

Good luck on whatever you do - these thoughts are horrible aren't they?

[peelio81]

Thanks for the tips Emphyrio. I was on 20mg citalopram and tapered off them quite quickly I thought. The doc said to take 10mg for one week then come off them completley. I did have slight withdrawls for a couple of weeks but I felt fine after that until recently.
Went to the docs today, he has put me back on 20mg citalopram but said that alouth taking meds for anxiety is fine it doesnt fix the problem, just gives you some breathing space. So he said to come back in 2 weeks to see how i'm doing and then he's thinking he'll refer me to a therapist to deal with the real problems.
He said that the thoughts are just me going up another level of anxiety. The citalopram had me fooled into thinking I was fine but there's really no quick fix for this :(
At least i'm on the right path now. Thanks again for the replys folks