B-Brain
14-07-13, 16:40
Hi everyone,
I'm so annoyed right now... but I'm not even sure who I'm annoyed at!
Since my anxiety has been at it's worst I've been too embarassed to confide in most of my friends or relatives. The only person I feel comfortable enough sharing my inner turmoil with is my ex-boyfriend.
It's great to have at least 1 person who can come with me to the doctor's when I'm scared, or go to the shops when I can't face a crowd or be at the end of the phone when I'm having a panic attack. But there's always a price: he'll either want to borrow money, or expect petrol money (to the equivalent of a taxi fare), or he'll ask to stay at mine for weeks on end (rent free), or leave bags of laundry for me to do.
Even as I type this, these things seem petty.... but today I lost my temper. I said: "You only come round when you want something. The rest of the time you couldn't care less".
I'm not sure if I was right to say that, but that's how I felt at the moment: used. Which is exactly how I felt when we were still together.
So now I'm not sure who I'm agry at: him for using me, me for allowing myself to be used, or me (again) for being ungrateful when he is trying his best to be supportive.
What do you think? :wall:
B*
I'm so annoyed right now... but I'm not even sure who I'm annoyed at!
Since my anxiety has been at it's worst I've been too embarassed to confide in most of my friends or relatives. The only person I feel comfortable enough sharing my inner turmoil with is my ex-boyfriend.
It's great to have at least 1 person who can come with me to the doctor's when I'm scared, or go to the shops when I can't face a crowd or be at the end of the phone when I'm having a panic attack. But there's always a price: he'll either want to borrow money, or expect petrol money (to the equivalent of a taxi fare), or he'll ask to stay at mine for weeks on end (rent free), or leave bags of laundry for me to do.
Even as I type this, these things seem petty.... but today I lost my temper. I said: "You only come round when you want something. The rest of the time you couldn't care less".
I'm not sure if I was right to say that, but that's how I felt at the moment: used. Which is exactly how I felt when we were still together.
So now I'm not sure who I'm agry at: him for using me, me for allowing myself to be used, or me (again) for being ungrateful when he is trying his best to be supportive.
What do you think? :wall:
B*