Advice needed, friend has bad post-natal depression and anxiety

[CaffinatedCathy]

My best friend has been in and out of hospital and mental health clinics over the past few weeks. Her bub is 7 months ow, she also has a 2.5 year old.

As her best friend I am finding it hard to know how to help, her family are there for her but I am scared. I have no children so I don't know what it is like in the head of a new mum.

Firstly she found herself googling on how to OD on her meds, then a week later she was self harming and scratching the back of her hands, she says not to kill herself as she has no intention to end her life, but to get rid of the anxiety, lonliness, feeling of no self worth and the feeling that she is just a bi-stander in life.

What can I do to help her?

[Speranza]

You could encourage her to talk again to a health person, offer to go with her so you can ask what to do to help. Does she have an assigned psych worker?

[CaffinatedCathy]

Yup. Her GP has been wonderful, she sees a pnd mothers group every Tuesday, she has started seeing a psychologist every few weeks and Mental Health Queensland are looking to find her a new mental health emergency therapist because she is desperate now. Someone has to be home with her at all times now.

---------- Post added at 23:43 ---------- Previous post was at 23:42 ----------

I just wish there was more that I could do above the hugs, text messages every few days and occasionally buying her treats.

I almost feel like its my responsibility to make her feel like she is worth again, like she's a person. Even tho that is what her doctors will do.

[bashley]

Firstly just knowing she has an amazing friend like you will be a great comfort. Pnd and anxiety are really horrible. Knowing that her gp is there for her too will help and they are aware of her problems and will look out for her. I know the Samaritans are wonderful and help a great deal not just for your friend but also for you. I had a friend who was literally suicidal I was at a loss of what to do, I also phoned the Samaritans and they helped my friend and also helped me in knowing how I could help him. I have had pnd and also have extreme anxiety I only wish I had a friend like you as I know it would be a great comfort. X

[Speranza]

Yes Bashley, was just thinking about how Cat needs to get help for herself too. It is a bit of a boundary issue, I have finally learnt (well, getting there!) that some of my anxiety is because of caring about other to the extent that I take responsibility for their problems. It is a very fine line...

[CaffinatedCathy]

*nods*

I am booking my appointment to see my own psychologist soon.

Being a carer and having been once since I was 9 kinda puts me in the mental position where I come second.

My friend comes first, I'd die (not literally) if something happened to her. If it wasn't for her I'd be a mess too.

[Speranza]

:bighug1:

[fluff]

I had pnd really badly it seems like your doing the best you can, I wish id had more support you sound like a great friend. :D with me I think I really needed a couple hours where someone could take my baby so I could have a bath and pampering or just a rest. And lots of praisr always helps tell her what such a good job she is doing, I remember feeling people were judging me all the time and I used to have awful thoughts wanted to be dead and just felt very alone. I am now fully recovered but its a awful illness I felt I was on a different planet from everyone and thought id never get better at the time. Sorry if thats not much help to you. Hope your friend makes a quick recovery xx

[CaffinatedCathy]

Big hugs to you all.

It is her birthday this weekend so our other best friend Joanne is coming over to help, we are bringing cake and nail polish and movies and lots of chocolate and things to spoil her with and she won't have to worry about her kiddlywinks at all, her hubby and us girls will have the bub n toddler all take care of so she can enjoy a nice weekend of being pampered and fun.

She said to me a few weeks ago she has lost her identity. That she has noticed she doesn't feel like herself any more.