Hello everyone! I have a fear of the sun :(

[Nicola Main]

Hi nice to meet you all. For the past 4 or so years I've been getting really bad panic attacks usually if it's a really bright sunny day or if I happen to be walking in an open place. A combination of the two is an absolute nightmare. If I were to stand in the middle of a huge open field in the middle of nowhere on a cloudless, warm sunny day that would be hell.

I haven't always been like this I used to take walks by myself in a local wood with nothing but my camera or binoculars with me and I would be absolutely fine. The panic attacks can happen anywhere and anytime. I saw a psychologist about it but he didn't really help. I'm trying so hard to not think about having a panic attack my mind automatically thinks about it. Sometimes it gets so bad I just want to die (I would never kill myself as suicide is a pretty drastic and very final thing to do) but the feelings get so bad sometimes.

I'm really hating all this sunny weather we've been getting lately. Everyone else seems to pray for hot, sunny days and I would rather have a cloudy day.

I don't know how, why or where this first started but I hate it as you can imagine. Sometimes I don't want to even sit in the garden. I'm very lucky in that my workplace is a few hundred yards along the main road from our house so if I start to feel panicky I can just run into the shop. I know running heightens the panic but I can't help myself. I just want to get out of the situation.

I've been trying to find a forum to which I could speak to like-minded people and get some advice and comfort. Will have a look around the forum and hope to speak soon ;)

[Stormsky]

I love the sun, vitamin D is good for making you feel good!
Have you gotten any help for your Anx?

[sam44]

Nicola have you sought any help? I also get very anxious in wide open spaces, even though I love the outdoors and countryside. It's not the brightness or sun so much, although I do understand what you mean to a certain extent. Have you tried wearing dark sunglasses? I feel that acts as a protective barrier for me, not that I'm condoning any avoidance or masking as that won't help long term. Could you try sitting in the garden more often and increasing your tolerance to the sun?

[CaffinatedCathy]

Hey Nicola *waves*

[Nicola Main]

I've seen a psychologist about my fears but he didn't really help. I think most of that is my fault though as he told me to walk to a place where I've had a panic attack before and then try walking to it a little bit and if I start to feel bad to just turn around and go home. He said try doing it so that each time you go you get nearer to the destination but I'm so scared of doing it and having a panic attack that I've never tried it. An example was our local beach which a few years ago I walked down to by myself and I was fine until I got to the car park, over the hill and saw nothing but a wide expanse of blue sky and sea and it totally freaked me out! I then stupidly started to walk along the leisure centre building which heightened it because I had the height of the building on my left and nothing but openness on my right which made it worse. I should hasten to add I also have a fear of high buildings or other tall structures and heights.

My boyfriend has been really good with me about it and has helped a lot. He lives about 25 miles north of me so I don't see him that often (have my driving test next week so hoping to pass and then I'll be able to go up and see him more). He's told me to wear a hoodie or a coat with a hood and if I start to feel panicky then put the hood up as it will restrict my view and focus on what's straight ahead (a bit like the blinkers for a horse). Don't have sunglasses but I definitely need to get a pair! :)

[sam44]

Have had exactly the same at beaches and just want to run back to the car where I feel safe. I know exactly what you mean about the expanse and height as well, my symptoms and feelings are identical! I'm also scared of heights but I love coastal walks so it's a real pain. I'm going to the coast at Cumbria next month so I'll have both beaches and the peaks at the lakes but I'm going to really try employing some mental techniques to stop feeling like I often do.
Have you seen your GP? I've found propanolol helps as it suppresses the panic, or at least the physical symptoms.

---------- Post added at 12:30 ---------- Previous post was at 12:26 ----------

I also refuse to avoid the situations that may cause them and don't mentally anticipate having them. It doesn't always work but I really don't want to give in to my gut instinct of just avoiding and running away from those situations. I'll do my level best to find techniques that will help both you and I. I read a good article which says if you tell youself to have a panic attack, you actually can't. I guess it's like trying to tickle yourself, it only works if someone else tickles you :D