newbie here - anxiety taking over my life.

[roxy90]

I'll start by saying this has only been happening to me for one month, so I completely take my hat off to those who suffer this for months/years. I feel like my life is spiralling out.of.control due.to my many 'life threatening illnesses'.

Last month I noticed I had some underarm pain. Googled this (bad move) and it came up with various cancers. One site even said 'unfortunately it is very likely that it is something serious'. I started to panic, badly. A few hours later i had a series of chest pains, followed by burning up and feeling faint. I had my daughter in my arms and I was alone, I started to get myself into a tizz. I was flitting between various cancers or a heart attack and I was terrified.

Since then I have been in pain every single day. My back.started to hurt, my shoulders, my sides. Dr said its muscular and it will go in a couple of days (ha!). Still gets.worse. I've had 3 ecgs, 2 blood tests in A&E and 1 chest xray. Everything clear.

Now im getting regular head, neck, jaw, chest, back and stomach pain. Arms and legs are achey, the doctors wont do anymore tests, they say something would have been found, put it down to anxiety and I've been on citalopram.for 5 days now.

I cant help but feel as if theres something.seriously wrong that they haven't tested for. Im constantly in pain and I'm convinced that I'm not going to make it through the day. Im a shadow of my former self I spend all day miserable and.scared im going to die, scared im not going to see my baby grow up. Im scared to go out,.to be alone or to go to bed. Its ruining my life, people are.sick.of me and.I cant see a way out.

Im totally convinced im seriously.deathly ill :(

[nick_templeton]

Hi strawberrys, ive had a similar experience to this in the past. I was worried i had hiv and despite numerous tests saying it was clear, my mind said otherwise. it all started from me googling hiv symptoms! google is the worst thing you can do when you have anxiety! Also, all these symptom like back ache, jaw ache etc are symptoms that anxiety can give. i thought these symptons were related to hiv at the time but i can tell you from experience, they were not! the mind is a powerful thing. citalopram helped me overcome this. medically there is nothing wrong. you WILL see your baby grow up and you will beat the anxiety. your not alone.

[Mr m anxious]

Straw, that's pretty similar to my story but listen..Don't google, it will always give you bad news. You are just suffering as I did with tension in your mucles with anxiety. Mine was so bad ive ended up with a trapped nerve below my neck due to tension and bad posture. You can beat this shit just believe it, go see a chiro or acupuncturist or just get a message it will help.

[roxy90]

Thanks guys.

I have no idea what made me google, last time I did that I didn't sleep for 3 days thinking a tooth abscess was going to kill me! Ive read so many symptoms and horror stories this month alone ive diagnosed myself with a heart attack, aortic dissection, aortic aneurysm, collapsed lung, pulmonary embolism, leukemia, meningitis and a whole load of other stuff because I get new symptoms everyday!

Im sat here now with mid back pain, neck, jaw, tooth pain and a headache, completely different to what I panicked about in the first place.

I often wonder.whether something.has.happened since the tests, then I panic all over again. I know anxiety causes all.these symptoms, I never realised just how much it can affect you. I struggle to.accept that its anxiety and not something serious. I hope I can beat this, Its.nice to hear reassurance from people.who actually understand, my family.have.been mostly horrible.

[Ccat]

HI Strawberrys

Sorry you've been feeling s bad. I just wondered with your jaw pain/ toothache/headache- maybe you've been grinding your teeth? Especially if you've been anxious- just a thought.

CCat x

[roxy90]

My mum suggested that too, I think thats possible :)

Ive just noticed I have 4 bruises on my leg, one really dark. Have no idea where they have come from. My leukaemia worries are kicking in again. I had normal blood tests 2 weeks ago, could anything happen since then? Im in such a mess im terrified :(

[Ccat]

i really don't think things would change in 2 weeks chick x

[roxy90]

I hope not, im just relating all my symptoms to leukemia and it all fits. Im so scared right now :(

[nick_templeton]

Its the anxiety talking. if you had normal blood test 2 weeks ago then your fine! I know what your going through aand it can be a very dark place. You need to accept its anxiety, i had CBT therepy which helped me understand that i have anxiety

[roxy90]

I know in my head im fine, then I noticed the bruising. And my paranoid head adds that with all my other pains and bingo I have leukemia again!

I have my first session with a counsellor on 23rd July , hopefully it helps make some sense of this all x