I'm back :(

[AngryMonkey]

I've not posted for a while because I stupidly thought everything was better and I stopped taking my medication.
I split up with my partner in August last year and survived that and felt like I no longer needed the citalopram.
I've taken my first 20mg tonight.
I have a new partner since November and he hasn't had to deal with any of my anxiety or depression issues until recently. I've been having some medical problems and the doctor now suspects its PCOS following some ultrasounds which showed multiple small follicles in my right ovary. I've had a blood test on Monday so I'm just waiting for the results now.
I'm panicking about this quite a lot, as it could cause fertility issues and I've been very tearful. It's now worrying me that my partner is finding it difficult to cope with, as this is what happened with my ex.
He's encouraging me to get CBT and assures me he's going nowhere, but I can't seem to think rationally.
Annoyingly, anxiety and depression both seen to be linked to PCOS.
Does anyone have PCOS or worry about their partners reaction to anxiety?

Angela

[Ally-SA]

Hello :)

I have PCOS - but I am managing my symptoms through diet. I've had a couple of scans since first being diagnosed in 2005 - and all is looking good.

The best thing would be to read up about it. Learn as much as you can. So many women out there with PCOS do have babies (fertility treatments)! So don't be sad. Although it never goes away completely, you can manage it.

Those lil' thingies - cysts - thrive on sugar. First step - eliminate all sugar and processed foods/grains. Diet really does help, a lot.

Talk to your partner. Ask him to be understanding. To learn more about anxiety. When I met my hubby - it was SO awful in the beginning. But we loved each other, and decided to make it work - the key was understanding. He found it hard when he didn't know what was going on...

Wish you all the best! :)

[Kim51]

Hello :)



Talk to your partner. Ask him to be understanding. To learn more about anxiety. When I met my hubby - it was SO awful in the beginning. But we loved each other, and decided to make it work - the key was understanding. He found it hard when he didn't know what was going on...

Wish you all the best! :)
You are very lucky that your husband is so understanding, mine thinks I should be locked away!! I wouldn't wish anxiety/panic on my worst enemy but some times I think if he had it he would realise how horrific it is and be more understanding xx:)

[Ally-SA]

hehehe He is a big baby, and I doubt he'd handle all these emotions! lol Must admit - he is a bit fed up with me now and then... for example:

This week I swear I have excess saliva. For 2 nights, I've been making him tell me every time he swallows... and if he forgets, I make him start over. LOL I put him through so much! :D

[Sparkle1984]

Welcome to the forums! I'm sure you'll find plenty of help and support here - I certainly have. :) I'm also a citalopram second timer.

[AngryMonkey]

Thanks for your replies. It helps to know I'm not the only one sometimes.

He's so good, with everything, but I think it just upsets him when there's no reasoning with me and i'm in a state. He's asked me to go back to the doctors to ask about CBT which I've always avoided in the past because I find it difficult to open up.

I just get myself so worked up and convince myself that he'll leave me. I've got no doubt that my anxiety/depression was the reason for my last break-up. He just couldn't cope with it and felt helpless, not being able to "fix" me. Dating engineers is not a good idea for me with so many problems!

I'm hoping this time I can get myself sorted out, off citalopram and avoid any episodes like this week.

I've read so much about PCOS, I don't think it has done me any favours so I'll wait to speak to the doctor. I've read up a lot about the paleo diet though so I'll discuss it with them.

I forgot how much citalopram affected me last time. I've been yawning all day at work and my legs are uncontrollable under my desk!

Angela

[Ally-SA]

Yup I'm on Paleo! Or low-carb. Whatever... lol Point is - it's working! :)

Just remember that it is very possible to have babies - even with PCOS. It's not the end of anything. If anything, it's a blessing in disguise to probably help you make some changes and live a healthier life. I know it might not seem like it...

If you ever need to chat, am around. x

[AngryMonkey]

Thanks - appreciate it.

I just read through your story... wow! You've certainly had a bad time of it.

I can't put my problems down to anything specific, and that sometimes makes me feel guilty about it.

Knowng that PCOS is related to it all actually makes it easier to accept. I've always noticed mood swings related to not eating/blood sugar so it's all starting to make sense.

I'm trying not to think about the fertility side, but obviously it has worried me, I've only been with my partner for eight months, so we aren't really thinking about starting a family yet but it has concerned me that he may not want to go through all of that hassle. Stupid really, because I know he loves me and would do anything for me, but it's all come to a head this week. I think when I'm like that I just need constant reassurance, which I know can be demanding. I just want to do everything I can to feel better and live a relatively normal life!

Angela

[Ally-SA]

I've been trying to pinpoint exactly when and why things first happened - but have come to the conclusion that it doesn't matter. I've wasted so much time trying to figure things out - I need to spend that energy on fixing things, and must move forward.

If your partner loves you, then that's awesome! Thank him for being understanding, and for being there for you. Men get frustrated because they can't fix things... you. Try do something special now and then - to connect... :) And one day, when you want to have a baby, it won't be a hassle - not if you love each other. It will just be something that has to be done. My man and I - we've decided that no matter what happens - as long as we are together, then that is all that matters. If we have a baby, then yay! But if not, then that's ok too. We could adopt - or get more pets. lol There is always a way...

Once you speak to your doctor about PCOS you can start making some changes. Don't feel stressed. It's a very common condition, and it can be managed.

Have a good evening. :D

[AngryMonkey]

I'm feeling a lot better today, although I didn't bother with the citalopram so I only lasted a day. I coudn't handle the constant yawning at work so I decided to go without.
I've called the doctors about my blood tests and they showed nothing unexpected, so it seems like I have polycystic ovaries but not the syndrome.
It's a massive relief and I'm hoping that I can get through everything else life throws at me without having to get back onto medication. I've managed for so long without, I'm sure I can do it.
I'm sure I'll be back whenever I have a wobble, it definitely helps having people to chat to that understand what it feels like.

Angela

[AngryMonkey]

Definitely having a wobbly day today.

I decided not to carry on with Citalopram last week because I couldn't deal with the side effects. Big mistake, I feel even worse today.

I've got so much going on, I don't know where to start.

My house is a mess and I can't seem to keep of top of everything, which makes the time I spend at home a nightmare. I struggle to motivate myself to tidy up, but hten feel guilty when I don't and ashamed of myself. This leads to me not having friends over, because I'm embarrassed, and I know that it isn;t even that bad.

Work is awful at the moment, and I'm applying for every job available to get out.

I'm learning to drive, which is more stress than I can cope with and makes me feel useless.

And all of these problems are made worse or maybe even casued by my anxiety, which is putting so much pressure on my relationship, I'm convinced it's going to fail.

I can't think about resolving anything without bringing on a panic attack.

I just feel hopeless at the moment. I need to start taking citalopram again and get back to the doctors. I was doing so well, I finally felt like I was over all of this.

Angela