Intrusive violent/incest/suicide thoughts

[chalky500]

Hi guys. Over the last five or so years of my life, I've been getting horrible intrusive thoughts. Problem is, they start as thoughts, then when I beat the thought, they come back as something a bit different. It's like a simulated feeling. my mind seems determined to solidify the thoughts. For example, whenever I get any violent thought at all, my forearms start to tense up and feel weird, like i'm trying to tell myself I want to do it. I'll sometimes convince myself that i'm attracted to my sister, and I'll keep glancing at her boobs ar whatever to check... but the thought interprets it as 'you did it to be a pervert,' and then the more you try not to the more you seem to keep looking back, like a vicious circle. Also when I look at her I can't convince myself that I don't find her attractive, yet the thought of it repulses me and I would NEVER be ok with that. PLEASE HELP if anyone's had this experience. :scared15:

[chalky500]

Thanks for the reply. It's just I'll check by looking etc,. but afterwards I feel like I've just done exactly what i'm afraid of, and that the checking is just an excuse...

[Speranza]

If you were really attracted to her, you wouldn't even be reporting this as a problem. You would be enjoying it. And you aren't. Its ok. I used to worry because my church taught that looking at someone lustfully was 'as bad as' (?!?) sleeping with them. It really screwed me up for years. My daughters are gorgeous, I don't fancy them but I rejoice in their beauty.

[chalky500]

Thanks man. I just feel so creepy.