Natasha singleton
17-07-13, 22:47
Hi I have been suffering with panic attacks and anxiety for 13 years now and I'm at my wits end now! It all started when I was on holiday and went on the beach because I was only 17 and it was my 1st holiday without my parents I became self conscience of what I looked like on the beach as all the people I was with "appeared" to have better bodies then me so I lay down for 7 whole hours didn't drink and didn't eat a thing so by the time I stood up I fainted and I was very ill and taken to hospital to be out on a drip it terrified me to this day I actually thought my time was up and from that day in I have never been myself since. I live in constant fear of dying. After I came out of hospital I went back to my sisters flat who was living in Italy at the time and I would wake up in sweats heart pounding etc I would go out in the streets and fall in the floor in panic but at that time I didn't know what was happening to me and I didn't tell my parents. When I came back off a terrible holiday I went to the dr and she said it sounded like panic attacks and have me anti depressants I never took them. Instead I carried on having anxiety. I had health anxiety but not only that I feared going out, noise, getting fat u name it i feared it. Over the years it got worse I had numerous tests to prove I had no brain tumour no heart defect etc. but with all this medical reassurance I still think my life is going to be a tragedy . I was fine when I was pregnant but as soon as I had my son it all started again I became obsessed with the way I breathed convinced it was not natural. My anxiety also affects the way I am with my son he had been to a&e about 20 times and he is only 4! Even if he has a common cold I'm convinced its meningitis . I do all the typical reading up on diseases diagnosing myself etc. I have had therapy nothing works. I also have an obsessional character too as I'm obsessed with going to the gym everyday and feel very miserable if I can't go I also have to eat the same things every day. The heat is another factor which heightens my anxiety as it makes me a whole lot worse and I'm constantly checking the forecast ! I feel like I'm nuts I lie awake thinking about awful things and then it gets to my nerves and sets my panic off! Anyway this is me in a nutshell a complete headcase I'm totally fed up of feeling like this I want to be happy and enjoy my life but my anxiety is forcing me to live a very miserable frightening life :-(