sedohrrelyt
20-07-13, 05:24
Okay, so.. It's Friday night. I went to hangout with my friends tonight but only could stay at my buddies house for like an hour because of my anxiety. I constantly (and I mean constant feel on the verge of panic). I've been struggling from panic attacks and anxiety for almost about 5 years or so now, could be longer. I'm also very depressed. From the anxiety but also I feel like I have a lot of general depression on top of it. I just feel like everyone can handle life and just do whatever. Like, my friends were drinking and smoking weed with no issue and I can't even be around weed or I start freaking out. (Since that's what was what gave me my first panic attack) I can barely even eat without freaking out. Some weeks/days/months are better than others an I've been to consoling and therapy. I went to a hypnotherapist which kind of was a waste of money. Which is huge because I can't work because of my issues. My therapist always tell me to accept the anxiety and depression instead of fight then and react to the thoughts but I don't know how to do that. I'm tired of being miserable, always feeling like I'm going to die, always feeling suicidal, or like I'm losing my mind, or not normal. I need some advice, i don't want to feel suicidal anymore. These thoughts scare the hell out of me. & I'm not on meds. I was taking Prozac and I have a few Xanax but I'm trying to go the natural way with vitamins, eating healthy, and meditation. I never think I would commit suicide or anything but the thoughts mess with me and I feel constantly in pain, like actual pain, and helpless. Anyone that can give me some advice and some direction or something that I should go in that will help me? I've tried cbt but I feel like I've had a counselor that wasn't very good at cbt, and I couldn't get in on a consistent basis. I only saw him like every 2 or 3 weeks.