View Full Version : So angry I could scream, need to vent!
GirlAfraid23
20-07-13, 18:42
Ok so I posted a thread earlier about starting a blog about anxiety and my struggle with it.
Plus the stigma attached to mental health.
I told my family this evening over dinner that I wanted to do this and post it on this forum and one other. Also said about posting on Facebook and twitter eventually.
My mum then started asking questions like: "does that mean so and so will see it?" We have a lot of family on Facebook.
I said yes and she started getting really upset saying "why can't it just keep these things private? Why do you have to go announcing it in public, I don't want the family knowing"
My dad then piped up and said that employers do searches on Facebook and that it may affect my chances of a different job in the future.
It really upset me, so much that I burst into tears. I feel as though they are ashamed of me even though they say they are not.
I'm still going to write the blog anyway. But I'm so angry/hurt/upset right now.
One way of looking at it as that by braodcasting your anxiety or following it with a blog, you will not be allowing yourself to heal and forget all about it. I think even pretending you don't have it is the final part of healing, as described in Chris Barry's excellent piece of literature I link in my signiture. Anxiety sufferers can tend to catagorise themselves and put themselves in the "incapable" bracket. It's limits are only what you impose, and it is true that employers these days do search your facebook and that wold put them off.
If or when you do get better....the blog, this forum and all your anxiety literature will lie forgotten.
I suppose your mum may think her friends and family will think it's the way that she raised you that caused your problems, and your dad is looking out for your future. Don't let your emotions get the better of you, use these instances to make yourself stronger!
You don't have to stay in the anxiety jail. This is only my opinion though, it is your choice if you wish to speak out about anxiety.
GirlAfraid23
20-07-13, 18:54
I know that but even if/when I get better I will still always support mental health awareness because I've struggled with it for so many years and I can see how people are affected by it.
Unlike a physical disability, it can be hidden and more often than not it is. I don't see why the same equality isn't provided for mental health as it is for something physical and tangible.
---------- Post added at 18:54 ---------- Previous post was at 18:53 ----------
I am going to post it on here first and then maybe move to more public domains, I wanted to write a book not long ago, so people would definitely have to know then.
GirlAfraid23
20-07-13, 18:59
Hmmm it's a difficult one.
You wouldn't say that to someone who had cancer and then recovered but decided to carry on supporting people with the same condition by raising money, writing a book etc. as many have done.
GirlAfraid23
20-07-13, 19:01
Ok not cancer but any other physical disability then?
GirlAfraid23
20-07-13, 19:04
It is physical, it's debilitating in every way, it's a mental disorder that creates many physical symptoms.
You can't just "get over it" or take some paracetamol to get rid of it like you can a headache. It's always there, lurking in the background ready to strike.
GirlAfraid23
20-07-13, 19:09
No, it mimics any physical symptom you choose. The power of the mind.
I know you can't just get over it, I've had it 10 years. But IF I could, I would want to stay away from talking about it etc. That's just my opinion on it,
We all have different opinions but I find writing helps me get things out.
GirlAfraid23
20-07-13, 19:14
I'm anon on here that's why I'm under a username that isn't my real name.
I probably won't post on Facebook or Twitter but if I decide to thats my prerogative and I'm very upset my parents feel this way.
You can't recover if you spend all day, every day ,talking, reading and writing about Anx..your mind can't forget it if you constantly keep living it.
Agree with your dad, it could affect future prospects.. And I get where your mum is coming from too.
It's not our business what you do, but you have asked our advise by posting..do you think it will help you recover by doing blog?
GirlAfraid23
20-07-13, 19:39
Yes I do think it will help my recovery actually. Have you seen the time to change website?
It's all about changing people's perception.
Interesting that others have supported my opinion, I think the power of the mind with mental illness is becoming mroe well-known.
To continue in that seed, when you say you want to keep aware to help others, are you sure that's not a kind of reassurance seeking in itself? People help others once they have fully recovered if they feel that's their calling, but not in recovery or they would never get better. You would have to look back on it to recover, which first involves letting it all go and forgetting. Then you can decide what to do with your future, once you are liberated.
It can't be compared to anything physical, because it isn't. A lot of the time people can overcome anxiety with the power of the mind, unlike physical illness. That's what puts it down in an employers opinion, the difference between "I want the job taking into account I have crippling terrible anxiety problems" and "I had anxiety for a while before I triumphantly beat it and moved on with my life". The latter you can say even though it's not true, because you are giving yourself power.
I want to you to be in charge of this GirlAfraid, because you can be and that is your choice.
GirlAfraid23
20-07-13, 20:19
I am in charge, but I honestly want to do this for myself and for others.
I find writing very cathartic and I see where my parents are sort of coming from. I am going to start the blog and see how the first few posts go at least.
---------- Post added at 20:19 ---------- Previous post was at 19:51 ----------
I think for me, I also haven't seen alot in the media about health anxiety. There's a lot about general anxiety, depression, eating disorders and OCD but not much about HA.
I think it is very commonly misunderstood and laughed off as just 'hypochondriacs'.
The HA part of this forum is the most used and viewed at all times, showing it may be, in this Internet culture, the most common mental health issue.
Hi Girlafraid,
Just an idea....but instead of writing a full blown blog you could start by replying to a few people on this board to help others in need of reassurance. You will be using your skills and love of writing. This in turn will help you. I do this. I just reply to a few each day.......like you:) I also write a private journal for myself "only".....
GirlAfraid23
20-07-13, 20:33
Hi Girlafraid,
Just an idea....but instead of writing a full blown blog you could start by replying to a few people on this board to help others in need of reassurance. You will be using your skills and love of writing. This in turn will help you. I do this. I just reply to a few each day.......like you:) I also write a private journal for myself "only".....
I like doing that too but I honestly want to write a blog, once I've done it, I'll post in here and you can tell me what you think.
---------- Post added at 20:33 ---------- Previous post was at 20:28 ----------
My anxiety is a part of me and even if I ever 'recover' it will always be there. Like a consistent friend and enemy mixed together.
So I will never be rid of it completely. It's been around since I can remember and will or bay also be there at the end.
Ok then go for it.....but dont let it consume you! Why not limit yourself to an hour a day?
I think people replying to your question are maybe a little worried for you:unsure:
GirlAfraid23
20-07-13, 20:59
Ok then go for it.....but dont let it consume you! Why not limit yourself to an hour a day?
I think people replying to your question are maybe a little worried for you:unsure:
I don't mean I'm going to be doing it obsessively. Just now and again.
For F*** sake, what is wrong with some of you people who are basically implying that, shes proloning her anxiety by broadcasting it!
I forget, can someone remind me why we are all on here OR keep coming back???
I'll answer that -because most of us are still suffering and still talking and need to talk about it & therefore thinking about it so, very hypocritical and contradictive some responses to Girlalouds thread.
Shes made it clear shes hurt by her families reaction and needs honesty, advice and not critical, harsh remarks.
NICE ONE Girlaloud for wanting to be honest, open and wanting to destigmatise mental health even if it doesnt make a massive difference.
I think you should think about the reprocussions regarding work and family, but Thankyou for being you and thankyou for pioneering for us GAD sufferers.
ohh by the way , mental health issues are illnesses and have a mind of their own, its not black and white , you cant just decide to ignore it OR decide thats enough - good bye anxiety! Because for some of us we have tried that and it never seems to work, no matter how much we try!! There are many factors involved and everyones case is individual and we all have to find ways to recover, not just read these - know it all -KNOW IT NOT books.
GirlAfraid23
20-07-13, 21:19
For F*** sake, what is wrong with some of you people who are basically implying that, shes proloning her anxiety by broadcasting it!
I forget, can someone remind me why we are all on here OR keep coming back???
I'll answer that -because most of us are still suffering and still talking and need to talk about it & therefore thinking about it so, very hypocritical and contradictive some responses to Girlalouds thread.
Shes made it clear shes hurt by her families reaction and needs honesty, advice and not critical, harsh remarks.
NICE ONE Girlaloud for wanting to be honest, open and wanting to destigmatise mental health even if it doesnt make a massive difference.
I think you should think about the reprocussions regarding work and family, but Thankyou for being you and thankyou for pioneering for us GAD sufferers.
ohh by the way , mental health issues are illnesses and have a mind of their own, its not black and white , you cant just decide to ignore it OR decide thats enough - good bye anxiety! Because for some of us we have tried that and it never seems to work, no matter how much we try!! There are many factors involved and everyones case is individual and we all have to find ways to recover, not just read these - know it all -KNOW IT NOT books.
Thank you so much Col.
It's strange for me to read some of these posts because I thought on this forum most would understand more.
Telling friends and family is the hardest part of any mental health disorder, you feel like an alien. But I don't want to spend the rest of my life hiding the true me, making up an excuse to my friends why I can't meet them when in actual fact I'm off to the counsellor.
I just wanted to start a blog and write in it now and again to make people aware of our struggles.
Whose been harsh, critical???
As someone whose been recovered 2 yrs now, and comes on to help out if I can, I can clearly see GirlAfraid is far from recovery... Ive been through her threads...
In the midst of anxiety, is isn't good to spend all your time consumed with it.
You need to live like you don't have it, I know , I did that, I left the forums ..
Your mind can't forget it otherwise...
Don't post threads if you don't want people to reply with their opinions.
I don't think the replies are harsh..
Once recovered, your perspective is different, you see more rationally.
GirlAfraid23
20-07-13, 22:09
Whose been harsh, critical???
As someone whose been recovered 2 yrs now, and comes on to help out if I can, I can clearly see GirlAfraid is far from recovery... Ive been through her threads...
In the midst of anxiety, is isn't good to spend all your time consumed with it.
You need to live like you don't have it, I know , I did that, I left the forums ..
Your mind can't forget it otherwise...
Don't post threads if you don't want people to reply with their opinions.
I don't think the replies are harsh..
Once recovered, your perspective is different, you see more rationally.
I don't know what you mean by 'recovered' though?
I'm not half as bad as I could be, I've come out the other side of many, many anxieties. I've been to university, passed my driving test, now driving full time, work in a school and have a long term boyfriend. All the the way through these things, I was madly anxious and psychotic at times. I managed though.
However I know I will always have this anxiety, no matter how hard I try to get rid of it. I will still carry on living my life but will never be completely 'recovered', in my opinion it's part of me.
I want to write about how anxiety has affected my life, not wallow in it.
I don't see what is wrong in trying to make people aware of mental health and how all stigma surrounding should be eradicated entirely.
---------- Post added at 22:09 ---------- Previous post was at 22:06 ----------
Also if you're saying that, isn't coming back onto this forum everyday feeding people's anxieties?
Reading about it, posting about it?
No, we do it because it makes us feel better and that's what writing does for me.
Here here Girlsaloud - and Stormsky - its clearly obvious some of the posts are a little critical. Dont know why your being so objectional - MY opinion and I think Girlaloud picks up the same vibes, as I did, reading some (not specifically yours) of the posts! You say you can think rationally but your rationally - from a former sufferer, doesnt seem to me as being particularly balanced!! ALSO those im refering to - must have recoverd from what your saying and Im obviously irrational! ohhh SO LETS ALL LEAVE NMP!!!This isnt a game of ping pong, so lets stop dragging each and every last word down please and offer constructive, balanced advice , understanding and support. The intention behind NMP.
Here here Girlsaloud - and Stormsky - its clearly obvious some of the posts are a little critical. Dont know why your being so objectional - MY opinion and I think Girlaloud picks up the same vibes, as I did, reading some (not specifically yours) of the posts! You say you can think rationally but your rationally - from a former sufferer, doesnt seem to me as being particularly balanced!! This isnt a game of ping pong, so lets stop dragging each and every last word down please and offer constructive, balanced advice , understanding and support. The intention behind NMP.
Ok, you know so much, what isn't balanced about my reply?
And her names GirlAfraid , not girlsaloud
---------- Post added at 22:28 ---------- Previous post was at 22:25 ----------
Girlafraid. Yes to a degree it's does feed your anxiety, you come on here for reassurance yes, but then you read other threads that can cause new anxieties ..
And whether you think it's helping or not, you are still talking, reading about it all the time..
The mind can't recover if you don't let it forget about Anx, and get out there and live your day to day life..
HA HA STORMSKY:roflmao:
WETTING MYSELF
SUCH A CHILDISH REMARK - i think its you who knows it all!!!!!
HA HA STORMSKY:roflmao:
WETTING MYSELF
SUCH A CHILDISH REMARK - i think its you who knows it all!!!!!
Reading your replies, I think you take the winning badge for childish..
Like using CAPS.... Nice!
I haven't said anything horrible to GirlAfraid , nothing I'd take back.
Still have to argue back and you say you are on here to specifically help sufferers-
childish,ungenuine, fool !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!
Who's arguing.
Call someone childish and don't expect a reply?
Now I'm a fool too...
Cheers for that...
I think it is quite a personal thing if we choose to write a blog or not and for some writing it down may help but others it might not. It did help me to write everything down but I prefer to keep mine private. My therapist has read it and I have shared it with my husband. My therapist actually suggested to me that I write a book about it but I don't personally feel ready to do this and may never want to but I do appreciate that for others this might be a good thing. It is something that needs to be thought out and decided by an individual as what works for some may not for others.
I am pleased Girlafraid that you are wanting to make others aware of mental health issues. I don't think I would say to myself though that I will never be recovered. If I say that...I never will be. I prefer to believe that I CAN recover.
you are clearly provoking this even more - ripping in to what im writting etc.
i will now report to admins, im not carrying on with this and you playin the innocent.....youve got your opinion ive got mine - lets leave it as that.
you are clearly provoking this even more - ripping in to what im writting etc.
i will now report to admins, im not carrying on with this and you playin the innocent.....youve got your opinion ive got mine - lets leave it as that.
You started it the name calling, tell admin that.
have done Stormsky - very sly behaviour from your self - CARRY ON - im not
No not sly.. Just not a push over.
venusbluejeans
20-07-13, 23:04
Enough of the arguing please otherwise this thread gets closed.
Girlafraid can and will make her own decision about if to start a blog and that decision is totally up to her and she does not need you arguing about it.
I personally made an anxiety diary/blog and I found that it did help quite a bit as I could see how I was getting 'better' and improving.
one thing though.... if reading about anxiety/panic etc makes you not recover from your disorders then us Admin have a problem as we sit and read/post about it everyday..... but I do see myself as Recovered, so it can't be that bad really can it?
I guess for me, once recovered, no it isn't bad reading, posting about it.
But whilst suffering, I did find it doesn't help to constantly be consumed with it.
nomorepanic
20-07-13, 23:14
I used to do tape recordings when I was at my worst. Does anyone remember a tape recorder lol.
We didn't have the internet then so there was nowhere to post a blog as such.
It helped me listen back to how bad I was and how I was doing going forward.
This is a long time ago I hasten to add !
As for Facebook - I have recently been on a start-up for business course and they warned us not to post anything on Facebook that could show us in a bad light in any way. Employers and customers/clients do look on Facebook for information about people so I would advise against that.
Not sure what all the arguing and snide comments are about on this thread though.
venusbluejeans
20-07-13, 23:16
well it is a personal opinion really...... what helps one doesn't necessarily help another.
I found it helped while I was suffering. I only shared it on here. I could see how I was improving or what i needed to work on.
but it really isn't worth arguing about, everyone is different and find different ways of recovering.
Woah, don't know what happened to this thread in the last hour, full on bitchslapping! :sign20: :yellowcard:
Sparkle1984
21-07-13, 00:00
I support what you're trying to do, GirlAfraid. I think it's important to raise awareness of anxiety/depression issues. Maybe a compromise could be to write the blog under a pseudonym - in that way, your parents won't be able to say you're harming your future career prospects or anything like that. I don't see how writing about your anxiety can make it worse - if anything, I find it helpful to get things "out of my mind", so to speak. :)
Whose been harsh, critical???
As someone whose been recovered 2 yrs now, and comes on to help out if I can, I can clearly see GirlAfraid is far from recovery... Ive been through her threads...
In the midst of anxiety, is isn't good to spend all your time consumed with it.
You need to live like you don't have it, I know , I did that, I left the forums ..
Your mind can't forget it otherwise...
Don't post threads if you don't want people to reply with their opinions.
I don't think the replies are harsh..
Once recovered, your perspective is different, you see more rationally.
I find it helpful to read these posts personally but was interested in your reply about being recovered does that mean you're med free ?-:winks:
I find it helpful to read these posts personally but was interested in your reply about being recovered does that mean you're med free ?-:winks:
Hi, yes , been med free for 2 yrs.
Hi, yes , been med free for 2 yrs.
That's great did you find the cause of your anxiety ? Or was there anything specific that helped you recover - sorry if being to intrusive just would like to get to where you are now :blush:
That's great did you find the cause of your anxiety ? Or was there anything specific that helped you recover - sorry if being to intrusive just would like to get to where you are now :blush:
Hi,
As this is GirlAfraids thread, I will PM you in a bit. :)
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.