PDA

View Full Version : Big Anxiety Episode Again



ThomasinaMac
22-07-13, 08:03
Hi there

I was a member of this forum back in 2006, when I had another really awful anxiety episode. It looks like its reared its ugly head again.

I am feeling just awful, shaky, trembling, exhausted, not sleeping properly at night. When I do go to sleep, I wake up and have these thoughts running through my head and I can't think of anything else, which makes me feel really fearful.

I am having a stressful time at work, the job I have is dependent upon funding, so its part of my role to write bids to try and get funding. My Line Manager is constantly going on and on about me writing this bid, but does nothing to help me, as this is my first experience of bid-writing. I also need to do more work to get the bi right, but he doesn't seem to be able to appreciate this. I get told constantly how vital this job is to our survival and I have four members of staff that I manage, and I am responsible for keeping them in work too. The team that I took over has a lot of problems, and they don't like working with each other - I am so sick of the bitching and whinging.

I got a puppy at the beginning of July and I am worried that I have done the wrong thing getting her, I am tired and I just don't feel that I am coping with the demands of looking after a 13 week puppy. I worry that the puppy will grow up to be a bad dog and it will be all my fault. I also have 5 cats, and to compound everything, one of my cats has gone missing and I feel really guilty. The cat has gone because I got the puppy and it's my fault, I drove him away. I don't have any sense of perspective, I am getting anxious about everything and I feel like I'm going out of my mind. I just want to sit at home and cry.

My husband lost his job in October and has become self-employed, so I am the main breadwinner, and I start to panic about the fact that if I don't work we won't have any money, etc.

I have emailed a therapist to see if I can go and get some CBT to help me cope with this. My anxiety is worse when I get up in the morning, and I seem to get better during the day, but then I catch myself starting to worry about the most trivial things. I feel like I am losing my mind.

Thanks for reading.

inCOGnito
22-07-13, 08:42
You're not losing your mind. You're going through a very stressful period and as such the anxiety is paying a temporary visit. When you have these periods your mind and body is tired and sensitized. Accordingly your mind overreacts to even mildly stressful things.

The cbt might be good for you because I can see a lot of the thinking styles at the moment are negative and anxiety promoting.

Your puppy will grow up really quickly and the demands will be less. For now I would say concentrate on the bid and get that monkey off your back. Just remember that it will never be perfect so you can only do.your best, which IS good enough.

ThomasinaMac
22-07-13, 10:03
Thanks Incognito.

I've managed to get in to work this morning, and I must comment that I always feel absolutely lousy first thing. I don't want to get out of bed, everything is very negative, etc etc. I have two books coming about CBT so I can get started before I see a therapist.

Thanks for listening.