View Full Version : Ridiculous HA vicious circle...
So, 2 and a bit weeks ago, one of my moles starts bleeding. I got an emergency 2 week referral to a dermatologist by a clueless nurse at a drop in centre, who said she didn't know anything about moles and googled 'bleeding mole' right in front of me. My unease built up until I had a minor panic attack last Sunday.
So, last week I went to see a doctor on Monday who assured me my mole was fine. I was so happy but then freaked out the next day and ended up seeing a different doctor on Wednesday. She said my mole was fine. I asked her to look at 3 - 4 other moles and she said they were all fine too and nothing to worry about.
I then had another panic on Saturday and called NHS direct. They put me in touch with a doctor and I was asked to go to the out of hours doctor's surgery near where I live, about 6:30pm on Saturday. I tell the doctor that I am going mad and convinced I am going to die because of a mole. He tells me that he is a dermatology specialist. He asks to see my moles. I show him the mole I was most worried about plus a couple of others and he says that I have NOTHING to worry about. He was very reassuring. After the doctor I was happier than I have felt for so long. I took my wife for dinner and I ate more than I have done for weeks.
And then yesterday...I see a new mole. Well, not a NEW mole, quite an old one. But it is a little darker than others but I am sure has not changed in 10 + years. But guess what? This mole, now, is going to kill me. This mole that I havent given a second thought to in the last 2 weeks.
As soon as I get reassurance with one thing, I seem to be moving on to something else.
How can I stop this? I feel like I am going crazy. Rationally, I have NO SYMPTOMS of skin cancer. My bleeding mole was looked at by 3 doctors and they all said nothing to worry about.
I am dreading my dermatology appointment tomorrow morning...
Hi
I cant tell you how to stop worrying - but if its any consolation I'm exactly the same. Last week I went to my GPs about a cough, which when I think about it rationally was really nothing, but Ive ended up having a chest xray which has now caused me more panic. Then 2 days later I thought my armpit was sore, so I prodded it a lot and thought I could feel something that I couldnt feel in my other arm. So I made a doc appointment. Then I googled (I know!) how to check you armpit nodes and found I was doing it wrong and couldnt feel anything after all, probably was a tendon or normal structure. Anyway the point is once I waited a while I realised that I was being irrational, and so I canceled the appointment. Now I have to wait for this xray result :(
My doc has told me my stomach issues are nothing to worry about. Twice. Still not convinced, why can we not take their words and trust them and let our minds be at peace?
I can't tell you how to stop worrying but just say I do understand how you feel.
I am so fed up with worrying constantly. I had mole issues a while back, started inspecting moles and thinking they were abnormal. Went to the doctors and my doctor who is a dermatologist said they were fine, then I find one I didn't show him and worry about that.
It's a vicious circle but I think you can be reassured by what you have been told. They don't take chances with this, if they were slightly concerned they would remove the mole. It's a simple procedure and they wouldnt just leave it.
Thing is with HA we always have to have something, that's the problem, we get reassurance about one thing and move onto another, just wish there was a magical cure, or that I could just people like other people who don't give their health a second thought from one day to the next!
Take care
Hey I developed a nasal twitch 20 years ago through anxiety that I was convinced was the onset of neurological decline. I went to see a neurologist in London who after a battery of tests declared it was just a facial spasm.
I chose to ignore this and began a daily attendance at my doc who eventually had me sectioned as I went into a psychotic breakdown.. I eventually recovered to 95% and retook my place in life with the nasal twitching still there although there are times when the 'what if' game begins!!!!
AlexandriaUK
22-07-13, 19:11
http://i1102.photobucket.com/albums/g460/adogforlife/bth_mole_zps45120fca.jpg?t=1374540166
This is a mole on my arm that I was told to have removed 20 years ago, didnt have it removed as I kept forgetting, will ask next time I go Docs and get an appointment to get rid, sure its fine but every Dr I have seen has said its to go.
If you have been told its fine then it is, Dr have a duty of care now that they are really strict about so stop the worry now xxx
So, 2 and a bit weeks ago, one of my moles starts bleeding. I got an emergency 2 week referral to a dermatologist by a clueless nurse at a drop in centre, who said she didn't know anything about moles and googled 'bleeding mole' right in front of me. My unease built up until I had a minor panic attack last Sunday.
So, last week I went to see a doctor on Monday who assured me my mole was fine. I was so happy but then freaked out the next day and ended up seeing a different doctor on Wednesday. She said my mole was fine. I asked her to look at 3 - 4 other moles and she said they were all fine too and nothing to worry about.
I then had another panic on Saturday and called NHS direct. They put me in touch with a doctor and I was asked to go to the out of hours doctor's surgery near where I live, about 6:30pm on Saturday. I tell the doctor that I am going mad and convinced I am going to die because of a mole. He tells me that he is a dermatology specialist. He asks to see my moles. I show him the mole I was most worried about plus a couple of others and he says that I have NOTHING to worry about. He was very reassuring. After the doctor I was happier than I have felt for so long. I took my wife for dinner and I ate more than I have done for weeks.
And then yesterday...I see a new mole. Well, not a NEW mole, quite an old one. But it is a little darker than others but I am sure has not changed in 10 + years. But guess what? This mole, now, is going to kill me. This mole that I havent given a second thought to in the last 2 weeks.
As soon as I get reassurance with one thing, I seem to be moving on to something else.
How can I stop this? I feel like I am going crazy. Rationally, I have NO SYMPTOMS of skin cancer. My bleeding mole was looked at by 3 doctors and they all said nothing to worry about.
I am dreading my dermatology appointment tomorrow morning...
Probably nothing anyone here will say will make you stop worrying. Can just tell you I did very similar things just a few months ago.. Had a scratched/multicolor mole, only the 2nd doctor got the mole biopsy and it came back normal. Not even 'dysplastic' ... I was very happy .. for a few weeks .. suddenly I look at the punch biopsy scar and it looked like it might have a new mole growing in it.. freaked out .. why would it grow back ??!
Anyway .. controlled my HA that time and a few weeks later the scar started clearing up.
When I think about it NOW it seems unreal and absurd that I would have those 'strange' thoughts .. I mean .. now I really laugh about it and I cant even understand how the hell i was thinking back then ..
And if even I myself can not relate or understand 'how I was thinking' a few weeks ago, how can I expect anyone not suffering from HA to understand?
However instead I'm worried about being able to feel a lymph node on my neck .. that is so tiny that i have to look for it for several minutes to find.
Due to HA the 'current' issue does not seem silly at all to me right now .. even if my logical brain tells me its the same crazy-monkey-brain-idea that is just living its own crazy life in my head.
Im just looking to break this cycle. Was HA free for 2-3 years until April this year and now it new thing every second week.
By the way, you mole is nothing. 3 doctors should be more then enough by any healthy standard :)
backfromthebrink
23-07-13, 11:50
I've been through the mole anxiety thing. I have a lot of moles, and many of them are strange in appearance, different colours, unclear edges, weird shapes, large ones etc.
I've always been anxious about them but an annual check by a dermatologist used to set my mind at rest. The NHS then put a stop to this preventative health care to save money, and insisted that from now on, I go to my GP and get a referral to the dermatologist if I'm worried and not to have a check as routine. That then put the onus on me for monitoring them - and I just can't as there are too many, many on my back. And when the onus is on me to check them, I end up thinking there are changes when there aren't, and worrying more than I did when the NHS were monitoring them for me.
The dermatology dept did remove 2 of them, which they were a bit concerned about, but they came back fine when biopsied.
They don't seem especially concerned about the others. Earlier this year I had another freak out about them and got referred back there, and the dermatologist basically said there was nothing to worry about and I should relax and enjoy myself more and stop worrying about my health. Easier said than done.
Where I live there is a charity which runs free mole checks by a dermatologist, so I try to go to one of those annually so I'm not always running back to my GP about it. My thinking is that if someone looks at them every year or so, any dodgy one will be picked up on and I can relax monitoring them all, all the time.
I had a mole issue once (a false alarm I should point out)
I'm not really a mole-y person, and so when a small mole/freckle suddenly got bigger and darker I was a bit concerned.
My good friend(!) Doctor Google suggested that it if was bigger than the rubber on the end of a pencil I should be worried. So I did. Lots.
This was on a Friday night. So first thing Monday morning I made an appointment with the doctor after spending a horrible weekend thinking bad thoughts.
Saw the Doctor who was not concerned in the slightest who gave me some steriod cream and if it didn't go away in a week, I'd to come back and see her. She suggested the cause was most likely my watch rubbing on it.
Within a couple of days of using the cream and no watch-wearing, it returned to normal and has been fine since.
The point is, that weekend was wasted worrying about nothing.
Yes, I suppose it could have been something, but my worrying would not have affected the issue either way.
backfromthebrink
23-07-13, 21:37
NotGood, it makes so much logical sense not to worry…. and yet...
Thank you very much for your replies everyone. I would have responded sooner but my internet has been down. Your insights and comments are really appreciated...
AlexandriaUK - I dont think you have anything to worry about with your mole. Cant believe you havent been anxious about it for 20 years though!
backfromthebrink - Thats exactly what happened to me. They are not going to give me check ups as they feel that I am the best person to check for changes on my skin. Well, I don't feel that I am.
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