feel like a crap mum!!!!!!!!!!

[charlie86]

Have probably had depression on/off for years now, going back to my early teens. But only first got help a year or so after my first daughter was born. Went on flouxitine 20mg and it really worked. Came off it around 9mths later as was pregnant with my second. I coped really well until she was around 9mths an then went no on them again. Have been on them for about 8myths now and have had to increase to 40mg, but still feel like some days I just want to lock myself in my room and stay there!!. I'm tired all the time have no motivation to do anything. I love my girls so much but I find that I am just trying to get through the day until it's their bedtime and I can just relax. I cope a lot better when my partner is around. Although at times I feel I have to put a front up cause really most of the time I'm just feeling so drained and tired. When I do things with them I find myself getting stressed about the mess that is being made. Anyone else feel this way????

[Speranza]

Oh Sweetheart, almost every Mum I've ever known!! I had this discussion with a young woman I met at a party the other day. I said, "I bet all your friends' babies sleep through and feed well..." :weep: "Yes" she said. At which another woman turned round ands said, "They're lying Love!"

Some people DO have the perfect experience of motherhood. Most of us don't. I was exactly the same as you but without the sense to get help.

NOTHING matters except that your children are loved, cuddled, fed and clean. The house doesn't matter. Why do you have to put a front up, and who for? My two were 23 months apart and it was really, really TOUGH.

As long as those children are loved, that is ALL THAT MATTERS. You are doing a great job, I promise you. Almost every Mum feels the same, honestly.

:bighug1:

[flossie]

Great answer.
You are doing the hardest job in the world and it is natural that you will be tired.

[calliope]

Hi Charlie, the fact that you care about being a good Mum means you are a good Mum. Motherhood is tough. I gave up trying to have a pristine house with 2 boys 18 months apart running around making a mess. I just tidied up after they went to bed. I'm not surprised you are tired, children need a lot of care and attention and they do seem to have a lot more energy than us. I learnt to take power naps, to help me recharge.Have you thought of asking your g.p to be referred to a counsellor? I've always found them really helpful. All best wishes.

[Speranza]

Just found this, and thought of you! xxx

[KeeKee]

Charlie86, I am in the same boat as you. I only have 1, a 6 year old daughter but I am struggling so bad right now. I was diagnosed with depression when my daughter was 8 months old and I have had my ups and downs but feel as though I have been on a down since December and it's really hard. I am having extreme difficulty doing anything with my daughter, reading, bathing, even cuddling is a chore to me.
My family are quite interfering and I genuinely believe this has caused a sub-conscious grudge against my daughter. Don't get me wrong she wants for nothing, more toys and clothes than she will ever need, she is fed and watered as and when she needs to be, she is bathed (always by me!) but it's so hard. At themmoment I don't enjoy motherhood. Everyday is the same and I would rather read a book by myself than play with my daughter.

[Speranza]

Are you still getting support?