At end of tether and exhausted! Help!

[emster]

Hi, i havent been on this forum for a while but i'm back now because i've been having a really bad run of attacks lately and would really appreciate any help anyone has to offer.
i thought i'd been doing really well with curing them. Even though i was still agoraphobic i managed to go for months and months without having an attack, and was even starting to try to venture out alone again, then i suddenly started having really intensely severe attacks again, this has been going on for several months now, except for a week when i was on holiday and i was fine, but almost as soon as i got back it started again and seems to be getting steadily worse.
For the most part i manage to stay more or less panic free during the day although rather more anxious and feeling ill, apart from when i go out, which i had previously been doing without too much of a problem so long as someone was with me, but now ive started having panics even when accompanied.
my main problem is at night. For ages now i've been waking up nearly every night at roughly the same time (between 11:30 and midnight) having really horrendously frightening attacks where my head burns or feels numb, i feel really hot, i feel sick, my whole body feels really numb and weak and tingly and i feel like i cant walk (even though actually i can), i shivver really violently and feel really tense, and its so bad i feel like im about to die at any second, as well as all the physical symptoms i feel really badly depressed and cant stand to be on my own so i usually end up running into my boyfreind's room for comfort (which i know hes getting really sick of now because i usually end up just getting yelled at and then feeling even worse). it does pass eventually, and i only seem to be getting one per night, but at the time it feels unbearable and it seems to take quite a long time before i can manage to get back to sleep again, which only seems to happen after a lengthy routine of getting up, splashing my face neck arms and legs and dipping my head in cold water,taking indigestion tablets, rescue remedy and some sort of suggary drink, rebrushing my teeth, breathing in and out of a paper bag for a few minutes several times, and having a good cry. When I finally manage to calm down, which can take an hour or more depending on whether and how quickly any of these things work, i either have to read a book or cuddle up with the cat until i cant keep my eyes open any longer to get me calm enough to go back to sleep and im getting really exhausted from constantly having my sleep disturbed every night, and then having to get up and go to work in the mornings feeling awful.
i have absolutlely no idea what to do. i dont know how to prevent them because i dont even know why theyre happening and whats causing them and i cant prepare myself for them because they come when i'm asleep and they wake me up and i'm usually too confused and disoriented to cope with them well. I'm getting especially worried now because my boyfreind has to go away next weekend which means i have to sleep in the flat on my own, and im scared in case i wake up in a panic when theres no one there, i even seriously considered just staying awake for the 2 nights, which is obviously ridiculous.
does anyone have any idea at all what the problem might be + why i keep waking up? any suggestions at all? and does anyone have any ideas about what i can do? because im absolutely desperate to make it stop.
thank you for reading.

[becky1000]

Hi there, I really do sympathise with you having been through years of suffering panic attacks myself.
Waking up at the same time each night and experiencing the same panic means that you've formed a routine in a way and now have to break it. It's just a bad habit that has to be changed. If you've suffered from panic attacks before you'll have noticed that they often occur at the same time every day or in the same pace or under the same circumstances like in a car or at the shops, and in your case, it's in bed at night - which is always one of the worst times for us anxious people.
I have been well for 2 years now after 12 years of suffering this condition and have made some notes on how I recovered. if you email me at becky@imaginet.co.z I will send you my notes.

I've beaten depression, panic attacks and anxiety.

[emster]

Thanks beales i'll do that.
but what i cant work out is how i'm going to break the habit of having panics at night when theres nothing i can do to prevent them coming because by the time i know anything about it its too late and its already happening. I've tried all sorts of things to relax me before bedtime, but it seems to make no difference and i still wake up. and ive tried things like lowering the temperature in my bedroom, getting new pillows, moving the furnature, cleansing the room of every speck of dust (in case its allergies), having a snack and a drink before bed so my blood sugar wont get low. but none of it has worked. Ive put off getting help for too long because every day i rather optimistically think to myself that it wont happen tonight or ever again but it always does.
any ideas on what to do to stay asleep?

[belle]

Hi..
I think i may have an idea of why you are suffering every night now. Its as if you are expecting them - therefore you wake up and you have them. I had this a couple of weeks ago, i posted on here about having "breathing problems" and i was sure i wasn't thinking about them, but of course your subconsious DOES and that is what was bringing them on daily. This for me went on for flipping ages - until it just STOPPED. Finished.
I am a panic/anxiety and agoraphobic sufferer so i know how you are feeling. When i was housebound and i could barely be left alone, i could bet money that i would panic every single day between 12.45 - 1.05 (the time it took my ex to come home for lunch) and then i would panic again from 4.45 - 5.05 (again, travel time from work). There was no reason for me to panic, but my mind just got into the habit of panicking every day!
Sorry for rambling...
SarahC

[monty]

This is a bad patch and you will get through it. The more you think and worry about stopping it the less likely it is to go away.

I know how hard it is- I have panic attacks and agoraphobia (nearly 4 years now). And it's not easy to stop thinking about it but I found Dr. Claire Weekes key points helpful

Face
Accept
Float
Let Time Pass

Hope this helps. Lucy :)

[becky1000]

Going by my past experiences and what I did to gain control of my panic, this is what I would suggest:
It sounds like you've got the right idea about your bedtime routine and that you manage to fall asleep ok.
When I had the same problem of waking up to panic during the night the first thing I did was to try and break the habit of waking. I don't know what time you go to bed but I was always really tired (from all the anxiety) so went to bed quite early. I changed this and made myself stay up until really late each night. I made lots of dinner dates to go out and invited people around so I was really busy at night. That way you are breaking your routine and sleeping habits. Try this and hopefully you won't wake up at the same time anymore.
If you still wake up with panic the next step is to deal with the panic. It's now become a habit so as soon as you wake up you'll be expecting it, maybe not consciously, but the pattern has been set.
Before you go to bed organise something to keep you busy should you wake during the night. When you wake up, don't lie in bed for even 5 seconds once you know it's happening. Get up and start doing the task you've set yourself earlier that evening. It must be something that will occupy your mind and your body. When I woke up early in the mornings with panic I would go for a long walk and practice breathing exercises while I walked, the walking tired my body and the counting kept my mind busy. OK you can't go out for a walk in the middle of the night! My brother had one of those walking machines in the house and he would get on that and really work up a sweat. I promise you this really does work.
Have you been to see a doctor? Medication will help too.


I've beaten depression, panic attacks and anxiety.

[emster]

thanks beales, i think you could be on to something there, i'll try to tire myself out a bit. I've been suffering with panic attacks on and off in phases for over seven years now i think, i've been to the doctor about it quite a few times but have given up on going to see him about it any more because i dont think theres really much he can do for me, I'm not very good with pills, ive tried four different anti depressants, but they didnt seem to agree with me and i came off all of them very quickly and decided never again. I've had 2 courses of sessions with a psychologist which worked for me very well for a while but it seems that when i stop going i gradually go downhill again and end up back at square one.
i did ok last night, i did wake up breifly a bit anxious i think but went straight back to sleep again, i think it was because i stayed up past the time when i ususally wake up.
And thank you also monty, i'm re-reading self help for your nerves again for what feels like the millionth time, i just hope i manage to make it sink in this time.[Sigh...]