How to be honest with a new therapist

[Itsonlyme26]

I've decided to pay for a new therapist and my assessment is on Saturday. I have had therapy before on the nhs but I feel I couldn't connect with my therapist because she wasn't English , not being rude , it felt like there was language barriers. I also felt like I couldn't be honest because I always have a hard time dealing with anything too serious or too emotional typical bloke i know , oh well. The problem is I have no idea what is actually wrong with me i know I have anger issues as well as depression and really bad anxiety but I have no idea what causes them , I feel stuck. I really do feel like all of this is just killing my passion for life and I just can't feel motivated about anything anymore , I'm only 27. If I'm at a train station I think the person next to me is going to attack me so I move to another spot but when I get to that spot I get thoughts such as 'I could jump if I wanted to' , I would never jump but it's so scary. I even have thoughts such as 'I could slap that person and he couldn't do anything' or if eating dinner with someone I get really scary thoughts such as 'I could stab them with my fork' I'll think about the blood pouring out of then and on the inside I'm panicking so I eat really fast to finish or not eat anymore. I would never hurt anyone it just feels like sometimes my thoughts are not my own and my mind has been hi-jacked , if that makes sense. When I'm drunk I am even worse I get verbally abusive I want to fight and I even smash things up , I've been arrested twice. I know it's easy to say 'don't drink' but when you have a burning desire to drink and you don't drink everyday or every week , it's kind of hard to think you have a problem. So how I be honest ?

[Speranza]

Well it's easier if you're paying, because you can tell yourself that if you aren't honest, and they can't address your problems, you are wasting your money! If you are concerned enough to pay for help, what would be the point of not letting them help you?

I guess what you are saying boils down to wanting to 'look good' in front of someone - but the therapeutic relationship isn't about that at all.

I know one time I began seeing someone new, I started by telling them what blocks I perceived to be in the way of my accessing their help. It would be a good place to start for you - tell them you know you have difficulty honestly stating all the details of your problem, and that makes it hard for you to explain it. Then it is their problem.

Kudos to you for getting this far - now it's up to you to see you don't waste your money! Why go through all this without getting the help you need?

[Itsonlyme26]

Well I guess that's why we suffer so much because most of us are in denial. Mental health problems has always had that stigma attached to it and I think it always will have regardless of how many suffer , which is a lot. When you tell people what you go through and they say 'try not to be too serious' , 'don't be so daft' it is kind of hard to try and seek out help , especially professional help. I will be honest because like you said I am paying for a service and I expect that person to provide a good service but obviously that depends on how much I'm willing to let them help.

[Speranza]

Exactly. Go for it!

[KeeKee]

I have anger issues too. I find it difficult to address as I am female and do not look violent.
I would say mention it on your first visit, be truthful because if you aren't truthful on your first visit you may feel unable to address it in subsequent visits.

[Spot-the-frog]

How about writing it all down, or print out what you have written above and take that with you? You could use what you have written as pointers in what you need to say or even give the written account to the therapist if you can't talk about your issues.

You are paying for this treatment so you need to get as much out of it as possible, there is nothing you can say to them that will shock them or that they haven't heard before, if you are not honest then you are just wasting your money.

Good luck x