Self esteem

[Shorty11]

Hi in need of help any ideas of ways I can improve my low self esteem it causes me all sorts of problems cheers

[Speranza]

Wow, where to start? Your question is a good first step.

I'm sure people will be along with a list of books they've found helpful, I did it the hard way through many years. ;)

Start with a list of things you are good at and things you like about yourself. If that's too hard, think about someone who loves you and what they would say.

---------- Post added at 08:16 ---------- Previous post was at 08:16 ----------

(I'm guessing the name is a clue to how you see yourself?!?)

[Shorty11]

Funny enough that's just what me other half calls me but it does not bother me at all I'm actually 5 7

---------- Post added at 08:37 ---------- Previous post was at 08:32 ----------

Thanks for that I was thinking perhaps do a list good idea but easier said than done but gotta give it a go

[nomorepanic]

This may help a bit:

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/articles/esteem/

[Edie]

Self esteem is a big issue for me too. Not in all situations, but certainly in many situations I just think, "oh, I couldn't manage that," and don't even try.

Something that has helped me is CBT. It hasn't resolved things, but I'm definitely more willing to try things now, on the basis that it might work out well. And I'm better at dealing with failures too. If I fail at something now I'm better at still seeing some positives and not jumping to the conclusion that I will fail other things as well. Before I just wouldn't have tried anything unless I was certain I could be the best at it.

6 years ago I decided I'd like to go to university, but that I wouldn't be able to come out with a first class degree so what's the point? Aged 31 I've just finished my first year and I'm getting Pass grades, which is Officially Good Enough, and I'm proud of myself even though I'm not a genius. It's something I just wouldn't even have tried in the past, but I've learned to see things differently and it's enabled me to try something that's turned out to be immense fun.

There are quite a lot of books that can be a good second best to seeing a therapist, which can guide you through some CBT techniques and help you to see yourself in a more positive light. The other thing is to just try stuff. You won't ever succeed if you never try stuff. It's scary, but if you can try to see it as an experiment rather than something you need to be the best at, it can be a bit easier.

The list sounds a great idea too, from the point of view of someone else. I'll bet a lot of the criticisms you make of yourself are things you'd not criticise in others, so looking from someone else's point of view can make it easier to see the positives.

[Shorty11]

Hi guys thanks for the advice I haven't put pen to paper yet but it has made me think abit I do think we all seem to look at the negatives about ourselves rather than the positives . Well done with uni edie funny I've always wanted to get my full bike licence but just never seem to get there ,I big fan of sports bikes