The Day From Hell [Archive]

Edward_1980

24-07-13, 15:23

Ugh, what a day. I didn't sleep too well last night as I had a fight with my partner and slept in the spare room alone. I'm tired and I have severe heartburn. I know I'm complaining, but I just need someone to listen.

I am on Clopixol injections, 200mg weekly, as a mood stabilizer because of the Borderline Personality Disorder and the Mood Disorder (Undisclosed Bipolar to be diagnosed), but last night I flipped and verbally lashed out at my partner. He didn't know what to do with me. I couldn't help it. I was fuming all because Emobile turned off my phone for not topping up in two months. I rang them and screamed abuse at the man down the phone and then at my partner because he was begging me to calm down. I eventually stormed out of the room and went into the spare room to sleep, which I didn't.

Today I'm tired and highly anxious. I have a pain in my jaw and numbness in my hands and face and I wanted to boil the kettle to pour scalding water all over my hands. My partner has the razors hidden so I thought that would be another way of harming myself. I didn't act on it though and instead called my nurse Aeneas. Annie might remember him as "Beef Burger":)

I'm tired, I'm anxious and most of all I'm angry again. I hate feeling like this. I tripped over while bringing the bin out and my neighbours got a little chuckle out of me. I was fuming and still am. What will I do? I don't want to be tired, anxious and angry. I can't sleep. I can't eat and I know I'm complaining.

Speranza

24-07-13, 15:35

It's ok. You need to.

When you are calm, I would suggest you have a think about the phrase, "I couldn't help it." Being angry down the phone is one thing, transferring it to the guy you love is another. Which techniques work for you? x

Annie0904

24-07-13, 15:42

Edward yes I do remember beef burger :D
You are over tired Edward, yesterday you got yourself all stressed out with the supermarket trip, then got annoyed with Mark as a result of that you didn't sleep last night so are over tired today. You need to calm down other wise you won't sleep tonight either. A nice relaxing bath followed by you listening to your nice relaxing music, that often works for you. An apology to Mark may help you to feel better too? Oh and positive mental attitude :D Sending you hugs :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

Ally-SA

24-07-13, 15:48

Edward...

I'm sorry. I've been angry too the last few days - I've been lashing out at the dogs, and my hubby too! It's frustration... well for me it is - because of how things are.

:hugs::hugs: Lots of hugs your way! What are you going to do this evening - to get your mind off things? To relax?

I'm so tired after putting myself through so much the last few days. But am going to cook dinner for hubby, and watch some telly with him. Last night we didn't watch any because I was too upset. hehe

Edward_1980

24-07-13, 15:49

I am tired Annie. I'm very tired and I'm highly anxious with the numbness in my hands and face. Pulse seems to be a bit fast and so does heart rate. I think I'll have a lavender salt bath for myself and listen to Celine Dion. I think I do owe Mark an apology. I shouldn't have snapped at him like that. It wasn't right. I'm glad you remember Beef Burger :) And thanks Annie. You were always the one to calm me down again :hugs:

Ally, I lashed out at the dogs too today. I feel terrible for doing it and lashing out at Mark. Tonight I'm having my Lavender salts bath and listening to Celine Dion. What will you be doing?

Ally-SA

24-07-13, 15:54

I'm contemplating a bath too. But it's so cold. So now I'm trying to figure out how to get the heavy gas heater into the downstairs bathroom. LOL But my hubby loves to watch a bit of telly during the week - it's the only time he switches off from work a little. He starts up at 4am... Sooooo! Will see. I just don't want another evening of arguing, which has happened a lot lately.

Lavender sounds soooo good! I have some essential oil I use in my humidifier - makes the room smell delicious. :yesyes:

Your plan sounds fab. I hope you have a really good evening. I'm sure all will be ok with your Mark! :D And I gave my dogs extra snacks this afternoon to say sorry. lol I am such a softy...

:bighug1:

Edward_1980

24-07-13, 15:57

You can use the oil in the bath Ally. It smells and relaxes you too. I gave the dogs treats too as a sorry :)

Ally-SA

24-07-13, 16:45

I used a new lavender soap I bought today... I should've put the oil in. :doh: The soap doesn't smell much like lavender. hehehe I did wheel the heater to the bathroom - but couldn't get it down the steps. Nonetheless, it was warm! :D

The Basset sat with me - which she normally doesn't do. She's scared of everything, including her own shadow. lol But she's a sucker for anything warm. hehe

xx

Annie0904

24-07-13, 17:06

I ordered another bag of epsom salts. My hubby wondered what I had ordered that was so heavy. He could hardly lift it into the house. I bought 25kg :D That and a few drops of lavender oil in the bath is nice and relaxing. So hop into that bath Edward and get Celine in there with you (well her music, not her personally :D ).

Col

24-07-13, 19:38

Ahhh Edward :hugs:

Timo

24-07-13, 21:35

I was on edge yesterday in particular, and it is hard articulating your feelings while on the cocktail of medicines I need to take.

Edward_1980

25-07-13, 12:42