adellic
24-07-13, 22:30
hi everyone!!
well i've been on this forum for a while now, adding bits here and there and reading everyones posts, and thought it time to introduce myself (funny how even on the internet i am still shy seeeeeshh...)
my names adelle and i come from the far away land of new zealand.
im 23 and have a 3 year old son.
i've always been an anxious person but its never been a bother until a fair few months ago now where i suffered my first intense panic attack while walking back to my car after work - this caused me to go numb etc etc and i ended up in an ambulance - i havn't been the same since. i didnt seem to know what caused it at the time, but now after i dont know HOW many months, i relised i was very stressed about money and id also had a abnormal smear which (a few months down the track) meant i ended up having surgery to remove the cells. i kind of pushed this to the back of my mind at the time (before i had the surgery) and didnt worry about it and people think this may have built up my feelings that triggered the panic attack. along with a couple of other things i had pushed to the back of my mind and forgot about instead of getting it out, having a cry and moving on.
since then, i had panic attacks everyday (the fear of having another one was the problem here) and was finding it hard to go to work, i had a week off to get my head together and i was taking larozapam just to get through the day. started seeing a wonderful therapist who i did mindfullness with. this was nice when i wasnt panicing and she was guiding me but i have trouble grasping it alone, so i need to get back into practicing it regularly so it comes to me naturally.
after this, i was put on fluox and for the first 5 weeks it was a different worry everday due to the SE's (seizure, fainting, brain tumor, heart attack, etc)... of course, i have had various blood tests, ecgs and talks with doctors, i've been to the hospital for other reasons and been tested there and not once has anything been found to sugest anything is wrong (iv been put to sleep and i told my heart "hey heart, if theres something wrong you better show some sign to the docs while im asleep" i woke up, alive, and my heart had shown normal beats throughout, so no problem with the ticker, time to get over it). so at present i am trying to work on my negative thinking to help with my 'health anxiety'. i also joined a gym to start 'beating the crap' out of these feelings and for my overall health, also starting yoga, and do a centergy (yoga/pilates/taichi) class every week at least once - also plan to quit smoking in the next couple of weeks.
i am now on week 8 of my fluox and have hit a blip, but i am holding out hope and i will soldier on with the meds. week 5 was wonderful i was back to myself again, smiling, enjoying things and most importantly being home ALONE with my son without freaking out!...i started weining off my larozapam and all was well...but like i said, i hit that blip so am back on my 'calmdowncrazy' pills until i get passed this little issue while working on other ways to get my anxiety and panic in-check and managable. i know what i need to do, i just need to make the time and remember to practice EVERYDAY!! its easy for me to forget - and thats going to get me nowhere!
my panic attacks have dropped in freqency but i do still have them - they are the most intense they ever have been BUT they only seem to last for all of 2 minutes (rather than 20), so they are dropping in time too...i've never really thought about this until i just wrote it down now so hmmm maybe i am getting somewhere.:yesyes:
im glad i found this site as it has really helped me when i've been feeling panicy/down and being somewhere where there are others going through the same thing. so a big thank you to all of you who share your stories and advice, it means alot.
well yeah thats me, and my story of whats currently going on in this head of mine, apologies for the novel and if its a bit scattered, i dont have a place where i can get all this out and i get a bit carried away sometimes :blush::D
happy wishes to everyone on their road to recovery...
:hugs:
x
well i've been on this forum for a while now, adding bits here and there and reading everyones posts, and thought it time to introduce myself (funny how even on the internet i am still shy seeeeeshh...)
my names adelle and i come from the far away land of new zealand.
im 23 and have a 3 year old son.
i've always been an anxious person but its never been a bother until a fair few months ago now where i suffered my first intense panic attack while walking back to my car after work - this caused me to go numb etc etc and i ended up in an ambulance - i havn't been the same since. i didnt seem to know what caused it at the time, but now after i dont know HOW many months, i relised i was very stressed about money and id also had a abnormal smear which (a few months down the track) meant i ended up having surgery to remove the cells. i kind of pushed this to the back of my mind at the time (before i had the surgery) and didnt worry about it and people think this may have built up my feelings that triggered the panic attack. along with a couple of other things i had pushed to the back of my mind and forgot about instead of getting it out, having a cry and moving on.
since then, i had panic attacks everyday (the fear of having another one was the problem here) and was finding it hard to go to work, i had a week off to get my head together and i was taking larozapam just to get through the day. started seeing a wonderful therapist who i did mindfullness with. this was nice when i wasnt panicing and she was guiding me but i have trouble grasping it alone, so i need to get back into practicing it regularly so it comes to me naturally.
after this, i was put on fluox and for the first 5 weeks it was a different worry everday due to the SE's (seizure, fainting, brain tumor, heart attack, etc)... of course, i have had various blood tests, ecgs and talks with doctors, i've been to the hospital for other reasons and been tested there and not once has anything been found to sugest anything is wrong (iv been put to sleep and i told my heart "hey heart, if theres something wrong you better show some sign to the docs while im asleep" i woke up, alive, and my heart had shown normal beats throughout, so no problem with the ticker, time to get over it). so at present i am trying to work on my negative thinking to help with my 'health anxiety'. i also joined a gym to start 'beating the crap' out of these feelings and for my overall health, also starting yoga, and do a centergy (yoga/pilates/taichi) class every week at least once - also plan to quit smoking in the next couple of weeks.
i am now on week 8 of my fluox and have hit a blip, but i am holding out hope and i will soldier on with the meds. week 5 was wonderful i was back to myself again, smiling, enjoying things and most importantly being home ALONE with my son without freaking out!...i started weining off my larozapam and all was well...but like i said, i hit that blip so am back on my 'calmdowncrazy' pills until i get passed this little issue while working on other ways to get my anxiety and panic in-check and managable. i know what i need to do, i just need to make the time and remember to practice EVERYDAY!! its easy for me to forget - and thats going to get me nowhere!
my panic attacks have dropped in freqency but i do still have them - they are the most intense they ever have been BUT they only seem to last for all of 2 minutes (rather than 20), so they are dropping in time too...i've never really thought about this until i just wrote it down now so hmmm maybe i am getting somewhere.:yesyes:
im glad i found this site as it has really helped me when i've been feeling panicy/down and being somewhere where there are others going through the same thing. so a big thank you to all of you who share your stories and advice, it means alot.
well yeah thats me, and my story of whats currently going on in this head of mine, apologies for the novel and if its a bit scattered, i dont have a place where i can get all this out and i get a bit carried away sometimes :blush::D
happy wishes to everyone on their road to recovery...
:hugs:
x