Hi everyone

[Down_Lo]

Hi guys,

After reading a few stories and posts on and off for the past few months i have decided to finally join and get some advice.

Basically the last 2 years I have started to get panic attacks and anxiety. Its been bearable although its been getting progressively worse and the last 2 weeks have been really bad especially with coping with work.

It started with random panic attacks now and then with the racing heart and slight feeling of doom. I have been to the doctors on and off and have even received some citalopram and propranolol which tbh I havent taken.

I have looked at trying to beat it naturally and have read some of the side effects of beginning the courses and have put me off, although its getting to the point its maybe worth taking the course of citalopram.

The only problem is getting through work while starting the course and having to deal with the possible side effects. I started taking the propranolol a few months ago and had bad experiences of feeling really tired and almost sedated which was intense to say the least sitting in an office all day.

The last 2 weeks have been really bad as I took a bit of a panic while on the phone to a client for no reason and has made me really nervous now when taking calls and generally being in work now.
Work is stressful at the best of times and now with my confidence rock bottom its raising my anxiety to the point of breaking down.

I ended up in hospital a few months ago to get a beta-blocker to slow my heart down after probably the worst panic attack I've had to date.

They seen how bad I was at the time in the hospital and they recommended a few weeks off, the problem I have is that my work has taken sick pay away the last year for everyone to save costs which is ridiculous and I don't have much personal holidays to use or i would happily put in for them.

This makes it 10x harder though as i feel i need a bit of time out and ideally speak to my doctor and look at starting the course of citalopram.

Sorry for the essay guys, bit of a journey so far!:ohmy:

Just looking for some help and advice from you guys.

Thanks for reading.

C.

[Speranza]

Hi, and :welcome:
I can empathise, I have been very glad I was off work whilst the drug kicks in. However, I would say the long-term effects of anxiety on the body are likely to be worse than drug side effects (I mean over decades).

Good luck!

[Sparkle1984]

Welcome to the forums! I'm sure you'll find plenty of help and support here - I certainly have. :)

I'm on citalopram myself and find it helpful. If you are in the UK, I think your employer has to provide statutory sick pay (SSP), even if they don't have a company sick pay scheme. So don't be afraid to take time off if you feel you need it.

I help organise weekly Skype support chats for people on citalopram, please PM me your Skype address if you want to take part. It's helpful to know you're not alone in the early days.

[jbSEO9]

Hello,

Hope you find a quick resolution to your problems.

This is a friendly and very useful place so glad you are here!

All the best

[Down_Lo]

Hi, and :welcome:
I can empathise, I have been very glad I was off work whilst the drug kicks in. However, I woudl say the long-term effects of anxiety on the body are likely to be worse than drug side effects (I mean over decades).

Good luck!


Hi thanks.

Thats the way im looking at it as well. Dont get me wrong theres other problems outwith work through my anxiety thats been slowly getting worse like avoiding family events and nights out with my friends etc.

Even silly things like going to the barbers for a quick haircut is a mission!

I feel like I have no motivation anymore and was usually quite active but have stopped playing football and going to the gym etc. I'm putting on some weight as a result which is making me self conscious and feel rubbish.

I know I havent been the same person as I used to be but thought i was hiding it well and that i would pass in time but I think friends and family are beginning to realise theres something wrong now as well which is putting more pressure on as I dont want to worry them.

Only person I have told is my dad which im not really close with although he suffered from panic attacks before and sympathises with me as he knows how bad they can be.

I'm getting that feeling that im going to break down and lose my job and everything I have. This totally sucks and can sympathise with everyone on this forum as its horrible!

[phil6]

Down_lo
I am unsure how much you have learned about what anxiety is and how this disorder works. If this is all new to you then I suggest you read some good web sites like the anxiety coach or NHS so that you do understand that although this really scares us, it is not harmful in any way. Or buy a book like those written by Claire Weekes. It is a trap that we all fall into because we hate the symptoms so much, but it is purely as a result of frightening ourselves and entering into a battle with our own thoughts and feelings to rid ourselves of the sensitised state we are all in.
I am on Citalopram for the first time and did find the first couple of weeks very difficult, but you can still cope with work as long as you can remember that it is just a settling in period.
It may be that you might want to take a few weeks sick, but then you have to face up to going back to work. None of this is easy, but from your post I think you need to start feeling that you are moving forward with accepting your panic and living with it temporarily rather than frightening yourself more with the worries that you are expressing.
This is all normal... And it is the way we all entered the anxiety state.... We all worry and fight with the state we are in... But this is simply adding to the anxiety.
You can recover with or without medication as long as you have a plan, and this must include acceptance, giving up the fight you are in and patience.
Hope that helps a little bit.
Phil

[Down_Lo]

Down_lo
I am unsure how much you have learned about what anxiety is and how this disorder works. If this is all new to you then I suggest you read some good web sites like the anxiety coach or NHS so that you do understand that although this really scares us, it is not harmful in any way. Or buy a book like those written by Claire Weekes. It is a trap that we all fall into because we hate the symptoms so much, but it is purely as a result of frightening ourselves and entering into a battle with our own thoughts and feelings to rid ourselves of the sensitised state we are all in.
I am on Citalopram for the first time and did find the first couple of weeks very difficult, but you can still cope with work as long as you can remember that it is just a settling in period.
It may be that you might want to take a few weeks sick, but then you have to face up to going back to work. None of this is easy, but from your post I think you need to start feeling that you are moving forward with accepting your panic and living with it temporarily rather than frightening yourself more with the worries that you are expressing.
This is all normal... And it is the way we all entered the anxiety state.... We all worry and fight with the state we are in... But this is simply adding to the anxiety.
You can recover with or without medication as long as you have a plan, and this must include acceptance, giving up the fight you are in and patience.
Hope that helps a little bit.
Phil

Hi no im know whats happening and that it cant actually harm me although the feeling of doom that alot of people experience is horrible.

I can deal with the heart pulpatations and feelings of doom now where as before i felt i was going to die or have a heart attack which would make it worse, i didnt really get the loss of breath that the attacks can bring, which my dad had suffered from.

I just took a call there and went short of breath and started to get the intense panic, i could barely speak to my client although i managed to get through as the call was short thankfully!
Its really annoying as i was always fine with the calls until i had a bit of panic during a call 2 weeks ago and has now affected every call in work!

Im still shaking now a little but its slowly settling.

I'm still fine talking to work colleagues as well as friends and family whether face to face or on the phone. I know its just the fear and need to try to keep calm and tell myself im fine.

Thanks for the advice Phile, thats exactly what im thinking i dont really want to leave work as i know i would need to return and questions would be asked why i was off etc and i dont want them to know, im just worried i freak out or start randomly crying or something while starting the course of Citalopram.

I think i need to get rid of the stigma in my head of starting the pills and not worry that they wont make me worse.
I never used to get them in work even though i dread coming in and it stresses me to no end but because im busy it didnt ever really kick in in here. It was always in social situations or sitting in the house where i start to think too much.

Yeah i might also pick that book up i fancy reading a few good books if anyone could recommend any others?

I am going to ring my doc at lunch and make an appointment, need to get this under control.

[phil6]

Yes, good luck with that...
I am pretty certain you will not break down and embarrass yourself at work... That is another very common fear, but most, probably all of our fears never happen, that's part of the disorder... I can empathise with that.
Phil

[Sparkle1984]

Hi there, have you an update? :)

[Down_Lo]

Hi sparkle,

Not yet unfrotunately, my doctors is ALWAYS really busy and usually at least a week for an appointment, i am changing to another GP in my town who my dads side go to and are usually alot better.

Feeling terrible this week again, feels like its building and building up to the point im going to snap and walk out. I think its definately my work that has caused this and the last 2-3 years i have been in here the atmosphere is progressively getting worse and more negative which isnt helping at all! :wacko:

I felt really bad this morning there, and just in the door the problems and moaning started! I just felt really anxious that i had to get up and go home, i really am getting to the point of walking away from this place.
It doesnt have to be like this the place is so unorganised and VERY badly managed which causes all the problems, its frustrating but nothing will change. I have customers/clients on the phone moaning at me and through emails which isnt even my fault......i could write a novel on this place basically.

I cant afford to take time off as we dont get sick pay and as mentioned by phil i know i would need to come back which would probs be worse anyway of the wating game to come back! I just need to get another job asap, first and foremost tho i need to see the doc and have a chat.

Think i can get an appointment on friday which is like a formal meeting to see why im changing etc, hopefully I can also speak to him about my anxiety at the same time. Roll on Friday!

---------- Post added at 11:17 ---------- Previous post was at 10:19 ----------

Well just had an intense panic attack there, got the really pent up uncomfortable feeling and bad shakes, managed to sit quietly and sorted my breathing but now im worried theres another one on the way, trying to take my mind off it.

Annoyed at myself though i email my mum back and forward in work usually and ended up telling her there and that i might go home as i feel really on edge now and had an attack.
I know its good to talk but dont want to worry her as she works abroad and is stressed as it is and dont want to put any more pressure/stress on her!

She found out through family the last time when i ended up down in hospital to get some bettablockers after a bad one and she was annoyed that i didnt tell her although i would rather tell others than her if theres any problems.

[Down_Lo]

Hi everyone,

Just a quick update, went for my medical with my new docs and didn't go great tbh. Was really nervous before I went in which isnt usually like me, sat in the car and thought about going home but took a breather and went in.

Once I got through to see the nurse I was ok but after examining my sample etc turns out my blood pressure is really high for someone my age (26). To do more tests few weeks. Didn't really want to mention till I seen the doc but explained my anxiety etc to the nurse briefly. She said it will be contributing to it but until they can assess me over the next few weeks they are unsure.

Not the best result I wanted to hear from a general medical but with the stress and anxiety from work the past few months I'm not totally in shock tbh. I'm not overweight and my diet is ok but the last year or two I have become less active, no motivation after work but if its affecting my health I'll need to get myself sorted.

I'll need to wait to see the doc next week for more info, going to speak to him about getting my anxiety under control.

[Down_Lo]

Went to meet my new doctor today, took my blood pressure which was slightly down than last week but to meet the nurse again next week and take more samples to send away, still waiting on my med. records being transferred over.

He gave me a card to discuss with working health group over the phone before giving me meds as he sees it as a last resort. They are closed now so i'll ring tomorrow on my lunch, not really sure what to expect tbh.

He also told me to look at some self help books as well for anxiety and panic attacks.

Anyone recommend any good books?
I was looking at the - Change Your Thinking with CBT: Overcome Stress, Combat Anxiety and Improve Your Life by Dr Sarah Edelman , has anyone read this?

Cheers

[Sparkle1984]

Glad to hear your appointment went well. I can recommend the book Mindfulness - a practical guide to finding peace in a frantic world by Mark Williams and Danny Penman. It includes an 8-week mindfulness course with an audio CD. I'm only on the first week myself but it looks very promising. :)