Sar89
25-07-13, 02:34
So sad and tired of feeling like this. Iv been fighting it for years I'm tired of it and can't seem to see the end... The only end I can see is when I die which I feel will happen soon something will get me. I will leave my child motherless and will go to hell for bad things iv done. My stepfather they think has stomach cancer after a very difficult relationship with him as a child I felt like I hated him for yrs now I have forgave him an we have a sort of truce. I didn't think I would feel so upset about his potential death but it has raised a lot of questions about life with him not there plus some pretty painful memories that I'm now questioning are they real or have I imagined them? ... My hearts been palpatating most unpleasantly for a few weeks now and particularly tonight ! It's doing them really horrible fluttery beat skipping that makes you jump up ! Feel like calling an ambulance.. Is tonight the night then that I die ! I don't want to die but sometimes I can't bear life like this and I can't see a way out