charlottevet
26-07-13, 15:05
Hello everyone, Im new to this forum, (sorry this might be long, but please read)
I have recently been diagnosed with a generalized anxiety disorder so I'm just going to share my story too.
I have always been an anxious person in general, I worry about things a lot and find it hard to relax in new situations- though I am generally ok socially and am fine travelling and seeing people I know well.
From seeing some specialists we seem to have narrowed the route of the porblems to things that started happening around the time of university. Over the past 4 years I have ahd a lot of very stressful and degrading things happen to me; people I have loved and trusted have said some terrible things and some ill health has massively contributed to it all - I'll list below the main points we have picked up on.
- My first bf started to neglect me, to the point were i would approach him and he would point blank ignore me, or move away from me, he would tell me that i was wrong during discussions and put me down in front of my friends, he came round when he wanted sex then would not speak to me and would leave early the next morning. I lost my confidence in approaching him, and didnt know how to act towards him as the change from loving bf to cold and distant stranger came on so fast.
-He broke up with me and told me I was "embarrassing and cringe worthy" infront of his new friends, that he dreaded seeing me and asking me out to be with him and his new friends, that I didnt fit in, that I was the one who ruined the relationship, if I was"truely special he would actually want to spend time with me", I asked how i should have been a better gf and he sai "get rid of that red fleece you wear with skinny jeans, it makes you look fat, ugly and a wierd shape"- he then laughed (awkwardly), I wanted to die.....
- I went off the rails and had a ONS with a guy in my year, I was so upset I confided in a couple of mutual friends, they encouraged me to laugh it off and because of my joking trying to cheer myself up it got twisted into me apparently slagging this guy off, this got round the whole year and some people latched on to this and made a sketch in the annual stage show, performed infront of all the students and staff at uni, about me basically being a slag and "scoring" men out of ten. I was so upset, I confided in my tutor and he laughed a me and told me to stop being pathetic and to "take it as the joke it was intended to be", he then congratulated the girl who did the stage show infront of me and told her how amazing the show was. Someone told him I was going to report the uni for allowing this to happen nd he basically told me to keep quiet of "things might get difficult for me"
- i started seeing someone new. turned out he was stalking his ex whilst he was with me and keeping a diary of all the reasons I wasnt as good as her, and emailing these to her every day. He then cheated on me with some american git, whos mother turned out to be some sort of obsessive psychotic, who started sending slanerous emails about me, trying to psycho analse me. He told me that compare dot her I wasnt pretty enough, interesting enough, that I was boring, socially inept and just generally inferior. I was distruaght. The girl contacted me and was generally nasty, came over to the uk and tried to put her self in aposition where we would meet. I was so stressed I avoided going to campus because I knew he was taking her there every day. I didnt feel safe in my own environment. He then went a bit wierd and sorta stalked me across campus one day being threatening because he girl threatened to dump him unless he "sorted me out" - this was picked up on by my year again and made into a stage show sketch, again I was told to keep my mouth shut. They compared me to the new girl and said how much better she was than me, then made fun of m all the way through the show using me as a punch line to jokes.
- in the toilets a group of girls from my year were slagging me off. I had to sit there and listen to it all as I couldnt bring myself to exit the stall whilst this was going on.
- I became ill with intestinal issues and a kidney infection, my sister dropped out of uni 2 weeks after she began and my parents were so angry they ranted at me about her, my sister was crying over skype every night as they refused to bring her home from the uni, I was still very sick with GI issues and had 6 exams to revise for which were coming that following week. My housemate had some very very trumatic things going on too and was very upset, so I was looking after her too.
- I passed out i one of my exams and got bang on the pass mark. Im usually the sort of student who gets firsts and 2.1s so his stressed me out massively.
- I was too sick to carry on with the course and had a mental break down. I wouldnt eat, or sleep or leave my room for ays. my grandparents rescued me....
Now, I am much stronger mentally, but I have an intense fear of vomiting or being ill. feeling ill infront of people. I worry excessiely about it every single day and so find it hard to go out and see people/ spend time outside my "safe" environment, I have to carry anti nausea pills with me, if I forget them I panic an feel ill. I also stress out in places I feel I cannot escape from, like resturants or lecture halls. I feel stressed all the time. The GI dr thinks I might have underlying crohns disease. its like because i feel so anxious, my illness has combind with it and now is a massive anxiety disorder all of its own.
on monday I am seeing a CBT hypnotherapist to try and sort me out proporly before september; i cant afford to take another year out.
I have recently been diagnosed with a generalized anxiety disorder so I'm just going to share my story too.
I have always been an anxious person in general, I worry about things a lot and find it hard to relax in new situations- though I am generally ok socially and am fine travelling and seeing people I know well.
From seeing some specialists we seem to have narrowed the route of the porblems to things that started happening around the time of university. Over the past 4 years I have ahd a lot of very stressful and degrading things happen to me; people I have loved and trusted have said some terrible things and some ill health has massively contributed to it all - I'll list below the main points we have picked up on.
- My first bf started to neglect me, to the point were i would approach him and he would point blank ignore me, or move away from me, he would tell me that i was wrong during discussions and put me down in front of my friends, he came round when he wanted sex then would not speak to me and would leave early the next morning. I lost my confidence in approaching him, and didnt know how to act towards him as the change from loving bf to cold and distant stranger came on so fast.
-He broke up with me and told me I was "embarrassing and cringe worthy" infront of his new friends, that he dreaded seeing me and asking me out to be with him and his new friends, that I didnt fit in, that I was the one who ruined the relationship, if I was"truely special he would actually want to spend time with me", I asked how i should have been a better gf and he sai "get rid of that red fleece you wear with skinny jeans, it makes you look fat, ugly and a wierd shape"- he then laughed (awkwardly), I wanted to die.....
- I went off the rails and had a ONS with a guy in my year, I was so upset I confided in a couple of mutual friends, they encouraged me to laugh it off and because of my joking trying to cheer myself up it got twisted into me apparently slagging this guy off, this got round the whole year and some people latched on to this and made a sketch in the annual stage show, performed infront of all the students and staff at uni, about me basically being a slag and "scoring" men out of ten. I was so upset, I confided in my tutor and he laughed a me and told me to stop being pathetic and to "take it as the joke it was intended to be", he then congratulated the girl who did the stage show infront of me and told her how amazing the show was. Someone told him I was going to report the uni for allowing this to happen nd he basically told me to keep quiet of "things might get difficult for me"
- i started seeing someone new. turned out he was stalking his ex whilst he was with me and keeping a diary of all the reasons I wasnt as good as her, and emailing these to her every day. He then cheated on me with some american git, whos mother turned out to be some sort of obsessive psychotic, who started sending slanerous emails about me, trying to psycho analse me. He told me that compare dot her I wasnt pretty enough, interesting enough, that I was boring, socially inept and just generally inferior. I was distruaght. The girl contacted me and was generally nasty, came over to the uk and tried to put her self in aposition where we would meet. I was so stressed I avoided going to campus because I knew he was taking her there every day. I didnt feel safe in my own environment. He then went a bit wierd and sorta stalked me across campus one day being threatening because he girl threatened to dump him unless he "sorted me out" - this was picked up on by my year again and made into a stage show sketch, again I was told to keep my mouth shut. They compared me to the new girl and said how much better she was than me, then made fun of m all the way through the show using me as a punch line to jokes.
- in the toilets a group of girls from my year were slagging me off. I had to sit there and listen to it all as I couldnt bring myself to exit the stall whilst this was going on.
- I became ill with intestinal issues and a kidney infection, my sister dropped out of uni 2 weeks after she began and my parents were so angry they ranted at me about her, my sister was crying over skype every night as they refused to bring her home from the uni, I was still very sick with GI issues and had 6 exams to revise for which were coming that following week. My housemate had some very very trumatic things going on too and was very upset, so I was looking after her too.
- I passed out i one of my exams and got bang on the pass mark. Im usually the sort of student who gets firsts and 2.1s so his stressed me out massively.
- I was too sick to carry on with the course and had a mental break down. I wouldnt eat, or sleep or leave my room for ays. my grandparents rescued me....
Now, I am much stronger mentally, but I have an intense fear of vomiting or being ill. feeling ill infront of people. I worry excessiely about it every single day and so find it hard to go out and see people/ spend time outside my "safe" environment, I have to carry anti nausea pills with me, if I forget them I panic an feel ill. I also stress out in places I feel I cannot escape from, like resturants or lecture halls. I feel stressed all the time. The GI dr thinks I might have underlying crohns disease. its like because i feel so anxious, my illness has combind with it and now is a massive anxiety disorder all of its own.
on monday I am seeing a CBT hypnotherapist to try and sort me out proporly before september; i cant afford to take another year out.