How can I deal with this?

[26]

Following my introduction thread, I recently went on a date with a girl and I had a panic attack as soon as we go down to eat.

After the dinner I couldn't help but apologise and feel completely embarrassed, she said "it's okay, if it makes a story, it's a good day" or something along those lines. After this attack, we went to the park and sat down for a bit, I think we got on rather well although we're two completely different people.

On the train ride home, I was fine and had no problem smiling. When I got home, it hit me. I was depressed, super depressed. I had got to a stage where I just wanted to kill myself.

All my family did that night was moan at me because I did something wrong earlier that day, and that added on to the depression.

Now the girl I went on the date with will not reply to my texts. I'm sick of messing things up for myself.

I'm just wondering how I can deal with this sort of depression? feeling sorry for myself sort of stuff.

[Stormsky]

Depression is horrible ...
If you don't take meds, you can make yourself feel better by exercising and diet..
Try not to wallow, feeling sorry for yourself makes it harder to snap out of.
On the up side , you met a great girl, that's something to be happy about isn't it?

[26]

Depression is horrible ...
If you don't take meds, you can make yourself feel better by exercising and diet..
Try not to wallow, feeling sorry for yourself makes it harder to snap out of.
On the up side , you met a great girl, that's something to be happy about isn't it?

I want to do exercise and enjoy it most of the time. When I do exercise, I have this stupid saying in my brain that keeps telling me "you have to eat certain stuff to become better". That depresses me even more.

My whole life, I've always sort of put myself down to make myself seem funny and "survive" I guess. I was bullied a lot as a young lad and that has had a major affect on my life.

Yeah, met. I blew it mate, was pretty embarrassing haha.