Help me please, I'm scared! Is something wrong with me?

[channie009]

Hello, i'm brand new to this forum and I'm only here because I need some help.
In the last 5 months I've been suffering from bad anxiety. I've had anxiety for 2 years or so but that was mainly social anxiety. I went to the doctors to ask for help with my social anxiety because it was stopping me from getting a job which I desperately wanted.
He put me on citalopram and immediately side effects kicked in, starting with my very first ever panic attack. It occurred while I was sat on my laptop and my body suddenly went cold, obviously I was having a cold flush which was also a first for me. I started panicking about it and went into a full all out panic attack.
I kept taking citalopram for about a month and it was the worst thing i'd ever experienced in my life. I was constantly on the brink of an anxiety attack and I was starting to feel like i'd never feel better.
I stopped taking them cold turkey and the side effects were nowhere near as bad as when I was on the meds.
Since coming off them I feel like my anxiety has stuck with me, it's been like 3 months now and I am still suffering daily. Constant head pressure, getting tired early in the middle of the day and lots of anxious thoughts, I think i'd put myself in the Health anxiety catagory.

As of right now I'm currently suffering from anxious thoughts, lightheadedness, my brain doesn't feel my own, I have a shortness of breath and I feel like I could faint any second now or a panic attack will be on its way. I'd noticed that in the last few days my anxiety has been esculating a bit, starting from tiredness then head pressure then both then anxious thoughts and now this.

My questions are, 1. Is what I'm feeling right now normal? I'm scared something is horribly wrong with me and that I might end up in hospital, which is my biggest fear.
and 2. Why am I like this? is it because of the citalopram still having effects on me 3 months after stopping taking it or is this all because of the panic attack I had?

ANY help would be appreciated. This 19 year old girl is scared out of her wits.

[AnotherNewYear]

Hi Channie and welcome to the site.

I am not a doctor and can only give you my opinion ....

The symptoms you are feeling is totally normal for anxiety sufferers and I would suggest you are correct with the Health Anxiety self-diagnosis. The medication will not still be in your system and it is likely that you have now become anxious of having another panic attack on top of your possible Health Anxiety - this again is normal, but something you will need to get under control. Remember a panic attack can not hurt you, it will not hurt you - although at the time it feels like you are about to die or have a feeling of impending doom.

The light headedness is a result of over and/or under breathing - you might find that you also yawn a lot. The brain not feeling your own sounds similar to what I have experienced which is often called depersonalisation.

I would encourage you to go back to your Doctors and ask about having CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) which will help you manage your anxious thoughts.

Think about a time when you have been 'normally' nervous - taking an exam for example. Your brain tells your body that it needs to get ready for the exam - so your heart beats a little faster, your palms get sweaty and you might feel more alert. All these responses are normal and are there to help you perform well in your exam. What you are doing at the moment is telling your body that something bad is about to happen (all the time!)so your body is getting ready to be 'attack' - what you are feeling is your bodies perfectly normal responses to the idea that it needs to be responsive. CBT will help control the thoughts - if you dont have the thoughts the anxiety is reduced if not eradicated completely.

You are doing this to yourself - you can control it.

Anyway I hope this makes some sort of sense

AnotherNewYear

[channie009]

Hi Channie and welcome to the site.

I am not a doctor and can only give you my opinion ....

The symptoms you are feeling is totally normal for anxiety sufferers and I would suggest you are correct with the Health Anxiety self-diagnosis. The medication will not still be in your system and it is likely that you have now become anxious of having another panic attack on top of your possible Health Anxiety - this again is normal, but something you will need to get under control. Remember a panic attack can not hurt you, it will not hurt you - although at the time it feels like you are about to die or have a feeling of impending doom.

The light headedness is a result of over and/or under breathing - you might find that you also yawn a lot. The brain not feeling your own sounds similar to what I have experienced which is often called depersonalisation.

I would encourage you to go back to your Doctors and ask about having CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) which will help you manage your anxious thoughts.

Think about a time when you have been 'normally' nervous - taking an exam for example. Your brain tells your body that it needs to get ready for the exam - so your heart beats a little faster, your palms get sweaty and you might feel more alert. All these responses are normal and are there to help you perform well in your exam. What you are doing at the moment is telling your body that something bad is about to happen (all the time!)so your body is getting ready to be 'attack' - what you are feeling is your bodies perfectly normal responses to the idea that it needs to be responsive. CBT will help control the thoughts - if you dont have the thoughts the anxiety is reduced if not eradicated completely.

You are doing this to yourself - you can control it.

Anyway I hope this makes some sort of sense

AnotherNewYear

Anothernewyear, Thanks so much for replying! It really made me feel a lot better.
The only problem with what you said is.. there is nothing for me to be anxious about but it just comes out of nowhere. I'm sure my anxiety is after effects from my panic attack that I had but I don't understand why I have anxiety when there is nothing to be worried about as of this moment.
Is that normal? to get anxiety symptoms without being anxious? Because I seem to get that a lot.

[AnotherNewYear]

Yep that is normal too - sometimes it can just come out of the blue - but usually we are anxious about something even if it is subconsciously.

I also don't have a 'reason' to have anxiety - i don't have any defining moment in my life which you could pin point to being my trigger. Sometimes i could be sitting perfectly happy and then my body (which because of all my previous anxiety is hyper alert all the time) might have a jolt or weird feeling which then sends me into a panic.

Go see your doctor and request CBT - and do not give up hope xx

[channie009]

Yep that is normal too - sometimes it can just come out of the blue - but usually we are anxious about something even if it is subconsciously.

I also don't have a 'reason' to have anxiety - i don't have any defining moment in my life which you could pin point to being my trigger. Sometimes i could be sitting perfectly happy and then my body (which because of all my previous anxiety is hyper alert all the time) might have a jolt or weird feeling which then sends me into a panic.

Go see your doctor and request CBT - and do not give up hope xx

Thank you so so so so so much!
My biggest problem with my anxiety is feeling like i'm all alone. As you probably know, when you feel alone you feel even worse because you worry more that something is wrong with you.
Knowing that what I feel is normal and is just my mind messing with me takes a big weight off my shoulders.
I will definitely talk about CBT with my doctor!
Thank you again! :D

[AnotherNewYear]

No Problem

Hang around on this site - lots of lovely people to chat with - you never need to be alone