Convinced I'm gravely ill different symptoms daily

[Ruby red]

Hi, I know I suffer from health anxieties and have been up and down with it for at least 14 years, since I had my first child. I can go years without a problem and then for some reason it creeps back in.

Lately it has got so bad that its a different symptom every day, I have neck head throat and collarbone pain on my left side, also some numbness in the face on and off, I have swollen lymph nodes in the right side of my groin and sometimes pain, I have a pain in left side of ribs near my breast and underarm, I have no appetite and have lost weight, I do force myself to eat but feel full all the time. I also have lower back pain most days.


That's what I can think of at the moment but I'm sure there's more :( I have been to doctors on numerous occasions and I've had bloods done which were all fine, and doctor gives me reasonable explanations for all of these symptoms, but I can't shake the feeling there's something seriously wrong! I worry that because the doctor knows i have health anxieties its easy to just put it down to that without further investigations. It's really ruining my life, I never have 'a good day' anymore and I'm starting to feel so depressed! I'm a full time mum of 4 fantastic children and have a supportive partner but no matter how much I try to shake off these feelings they linger.


I did start amitripyline but I started to get palpitations, couldn't wake up in the mornings and felt severely depressed after just 5 days so I stopped taking them. I just feel so alone with all these thoughts and feelings all the time, I just want my life back.

[AuntieMoosie]

Hi there,

I'm so sorry that you're feeling so unwell hun.

With any sort of anxiety, no matter what type it is, it's just like you're living in a bubble of fear and it's very uncomfortable and very scary.

I don't suffer with health anxiety but I do have agoraphobia, so I can still understand completely how you're feeling. I used to scare myself silly, one thought after another then another then another!!!

Where as I would be fixed on things that could happen when I was out, you're fixed on your body and what it's doing, but in essence, it's the same thing really, because it's just fear :)

I do know that if I'm feeling really stressed and anxious, my body feels it too, that's why stress isn't good for us.

I'm not a doctor so I can't even try to diagnose you hun, but the symptoms that you have could all be linked to stress, anxiety and tension. All of your muscles will be tense and you will start to ache everywhere because of that.

Depression and anxiety can also knock your appetite right off, and that presents another problem, because you're going to feel pretty yuk if you're not eating properly and even more so if you're not sleeping properly.

With 4 children I would imagine that you're a very busy Mum, I thought I was busy when I just had the 2!!....lol

Being a Mum to 4 children and running the house, doing the shopping and everything else that us Mums have to do, can sometimes take it's toll and it's vitally important that you have some good quality "ME" time. A special part of the day, usually the evenings when the children are in bed, is a good time for you to just do what you want to do. A nice warm bubble bath, laying on your bed and listening to some music, reading a book, watching the TV anything you like, but it's just "YOUR" time to unwind, de-stress and chill for a bit :)

My advice to you hun is to make an appointment with your doctor and really tell them how all this worry and anxiety is making you feel and how it's really having a bad impact on the quality of your life now. Believe me, I tell everyone that in my opinion living with depression/anxiety/panic is every bit as bad as living with any physical disability and you deserve to be helped, supported and treated for it :)

I think you'd find it helpful if you could at least get some help for your anxiety, there are lots and lots of medications available now, so because one didn't suit you doesn't mean the others wont either, so don't just shut the door on trying something different, keep an open mind about it.

It's also important to remember that with any antidepressants, when you first start your treatment, they can make you feel a little worse to start with, but maybe your doctor could give you something just to help you when you start taking your medication. My GP gave me some very low dose diazepam just to take if I felt I needed it while I was waiting for the antidepressants to kick in.

If you really don't fancy medication or you also feel like trying some therapy and having the medication, you could always try some CBT, it's extremely helpful for anxiety. Sometimes you don't have to go to a therapist now, you can do it online, at home and in your own time, I'm doing that and it's helping me so much, if you're interested you could always have a look at CBT4Panic, a lot of members here, including myself, have found it to be extremely helpful. The therapists name is Robin and he's a member here too, he's very, very helpful. On the plus side, I believe that Robin is offering his therapy completely free of charge now, so you've nothing to loose if you wanted to give it a go. Just click on the link in my signature hun and have a look.

Maybe once your level of anxiety has gone down and you start to feel better in yourself, you may not notice all of your uncomfortable symptoms so much hun.

But do go and see your doctor, don't suffer anymore hun and please let us know how you get on, there's always plenty of people here to listen and support you so you don't ever need to feel alone hun :hugs:

[Darren1]

Hi, I know I suffer from health anxieties and have been up and down with it for at least 14 years, since I had my first child. I can go years without a problem and then for some reason it creeps back in.

Lately it has got so bad that its a different symptom every day, I have neck head throat and collarbone pain on my left side, also some numbness in the face on and off, I have swollen lymph nodes in the right side of my groin and sometimes pain, I have a pain in left side of ribs near my breast and underarm, I have no appetite and have lost weight, I do force myself to eat but feel full all the time. I also have lower back pain most days.


That's what I can think of at the moment but I'm sure there's more :( I have been to doctors on numerous occasions and I've had bloods done which were all fine, and doctor gives me reasonable explanations for all of these symptoms, but I can't shake the feeling there's something seriously wrong! I worry that because the doctor knows i have health anxieties its easy to just put it down to that without further investigations. It's really ruining my life, I never have 'a good day' anymore and I'm starting to feel so depressed! I'm a full time mum of 4 fantastic children and have a supportive partner but no matter how much I try to shake off these feelings they linger.


I did start amitripyline but I started to get palpitations, couldn't wake up in the mornings and felt severely depressed after just 5 days so I stopped taking them. I just feel so alone with all these thoughts and feelings all the time, I just want my life back.


Ruby, this sounds exactly like me! I mean exactly!

I have pains in ribs, underarm, neck, swollen glands. I have no apetite, I have lost weight and now feel nausea. I have started taking anti-depressants but concerned side affects are adding to my ailments so going to stop taking them.

Like you, doctors are putting it all down to my anxiety. What I don't believe is how I suddenly woke up one day with these swollen glands and all these other symptoms have come along and apparantly its anxiety???

I have even used the same term as you 'gravelly ill' when talking about myself.

I can't cope anymore feel like going off sick from work long term until somebody works out what is wrong with me. My life is in shatters.

[Mummytofour]

Hi,

I am going through the same too right now. I am convinced something is seriously wrong with me. I have a long list ( which I won't bore you with) of symptoms which are driving me nuts. Thing is because the first thing that happened after my son was born was the panic attacks and extreme anxiety I feel like my doctor is just using that as the easy explaination and not looking into things more. She has had me do a blood test, thyroid test and now coeliac test I am waiting on but I am worried that they are not taking me seriously enough and will stop trying to find out what's wrong.

It's crazy this whole anxiety thing and luckily like you, I have a supportive partner and 4 lovely children and even better a mother in law who suffers from anxiety, panic attacks, depression and ocd. Not good for her obviously but we help each other.

I just had to reply to this post as you sound exactly the same as me currently and I know sometimes its a teeny bit reassuring to know your not alone. In fact I may start a thread about my symptoms, tests, medications and anything else relevant and keep it updated to show how things change occasionally and to show I am still alive however convinced I have been that I am dying.

Maxine

[Ruby red]

Thank you all so much for your replies! It is reassuring to know I'm not alone! Do you think being a parent and suddenly someone else depends on you is where your health anxieties started? I have often wondered this, and I also spend way too much time worrying about what would happen to my children if I wasn't here :( also there does seem to be a pattern emerging where my babies reach about 2 years and it is a very low point for me.

I'm back at the doctors Monday next week and I'm hoping to get some results instead of being sent away to, as one doctor put it: "get over it, you have in the past"


I hope you all are ok too and that we can all hopefully look back sometime soon at these problems we have now as a thing of the past xx

[AuntieMoosie]

Hi Ruby,

I'm going to ask you a question, please don't feel that you have to answer if you don't want too as I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable :)

Can you remember, or do you know if something unhappy happened to you at around aged 2??

It's just that I picked up what you said straight away and I thought perhaps it was similar to my experience.

When my Daughter reached age 3, I hit rock bottom, was very, very sad and depressed. When I was having my psychotherapy I was talking about this to my therapist and she said that she thought it was linked to my being taken into care at aged 3 and that when my Daughter reached that age, it triggered something in me and made me feel all the emotions that I felt way back then.

I really hope that all goes well for you when you see your doctor next week.

Anxiety is an awful thing to have to live with, it really is, and when you're not feeling at all well, it's just the pits.

So I'm sending comforting hugs to you and Darren and Mummytofour and I really hope that you can all gain some relief very soon :)

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[NotGood]

Hi,
Sorry to hear you're feeling like this. You're most certainly not alone.

One thing that really struck in your post was this.

"It's really ruining my life, I never have 'a good day' anymore"

There's two scenarios, you're either not ill or you are ill. (Looks like you're taking care of the ill/not ill bit between you and your doctor and the signs are all good).

Thing is, either way, worrying isn't helping your general state and wellbeing (and could quite possibly be contributing to how you're feeling) and even if you live to 105, you don't want to look back at a wasted life of having constantly worried.

Of course, if I knew how to fix this, I'd be a millionaire!!

The point I'm trying to make is worrying won't change anything, but obviously the fact that I'm on here shows I need to practice what I preach!

[mrsgh]

Hi Ruby
Just wanted to say I agree about the health anxiety/parental responsibility link, having kids caused me to relapse big time and on an entirely different level of anxiety. I have also noted that my current 'episode' although triggered by an actual.medical issue also coincides with my youngest about to start nursery. I did some digging about a bout of similar symptoms a good few years back a d was interested to see that it was around the same time my eldest son was starting nursery, im guessing a link. Reverse seperation anxiety, change in your percieved role of kids being entirely dependant or growing up, self esteem, getting older, wanting to keep them little, reslising how wonderful they are and what we have to lose - all exacerbate the health anxious person. HA is closely linked to OCD which can stem from feeling out of control. The more I explore these issues the more reassured I become about HA being a manifestation of lack of control over my kids future. In this last bout of severe HA I actually forced myself to talk with my husband about child related issues should one of us die and with my parents and it actually helped me gain some control over those feelings. However I still have really bad days and I have low dose valium for those from my doc! Sounds daft but try to focus on today and enjoying your kids company, plan fun memorable things to do with them and think today I dint have any symptoms that require an ambulance I am up and about and functioning. Of course physical symptoms should always be checked by a doctor. Take care and feel free to pm me x