Anxiety and depression consuming me

[Modestaustin811]

I'm at a loss right now, all I feel like doing is crying and never leaving my bed.
I've been dealing with anxiety issues since I was 16 years old with wavering degrees of intensity over the years. There's literally so much to write, about my struggles through GAD and Panic. About how over the last couple years I used alcohol to mask my symptoms. How the alcohol stopped working and started making my anxiety worse.
Since quitting the booze my anxiety is rampant, and with it this overwhelming feeling of depression. I've been getting this feeling lately like my mouth is burnt at the front. The only thing that helps it is chewing gum 24/7 but I hate it, and it's all I can focus on. I'm just going through a serious struggle right now, I can't find any joy in myself, I can't stop obsessing. I'm so ****ing tired.
Tomorrow, I have to take a plane to Halifax to visit my best friend and go to a music festival till monday. He and my friends down there have no idea I'm going through all of this, I don't know how I'm going to do it. Like literally, don't know how I'm going to do this. I can't cancel, the plane ticket is already bought, so is the concert ticket. My mom would literally have a meltdown on me if I bailed because she paid for the ticket.
Not to mention after that, this september I'm suppose to move to a new city to start school. I'm 23 years old, and I'm finally starting college, but I can't even picture myself living in a new city, alone, dealing with all this crap.
I can't take it, I don't want to leave my bed. I need help. Like I feel like I need to be committed. I can't deal with this.
Any advice? anyone dealing with something similar? I just feel like the weight of the world is on me now while I'm in one of the most fragile states I've ever been in.

[Stormsky]

Hi
Do you take meds?
Instead of fearing going away, get excited ! Your gona have a great time , nothing bads going to happen to you..
You'll feel disappointed if you don't go, and over the moon and pleased with yourself if you do go!
Your thoughts are determining your physical sensations, fear makes you anxious, fears cause the Anx and fears stop you enjoying life..
So stop fearing going.. Tell yourself it's going to be great, that you can't wait to get there...those positive thoughts will change the way you feel physically ...

[jayjoe18]

In the long term I think you really need to see your doctor and ask for help either meds or therapy (or both). I think you need to do this right away so as not to disrupt your move in Sept. As for the concert, I don't know what you can do to make it easier but I would definitely try really hard to get there, you will kick yourself for missing out. I think the anticipation is much much worse than the actual event, I usually find that once I get there, after a while I calm down and can start to enjoy things. But it is really hard work to get yourself there in the first place I know, I've missed so many events and I'm so regretful about it. I once went to America in the midst of severe anxiety, it was the hardest thing ever but once I got there I had the best time of my life.

BUT if you really can't get there and you really feel unwell don't push yourself too hard, you don't want to make things worse for yourself. Maybe you could sell the tickets on to a friend or someone? That way you could at least recoup some of the money? Also, does your parents know about what's going on? If you told them I'm sure they would understand and can help you through everything?

[moonspirit]

how awful you are going through this i really think you should talk to your mum you may be pleasantly surprised at how understanding and supportive she is and just maybe it will turn your fear for your trip away into excitement .......... i was terrified of telling my parents what i was going through incase they felt dissapointed in me but i couldnt have been more wrong it actually has turned out they had been through similar episodes themselves im going through a really rough time too at the moment and it does help to talk and i love how much advice and help and support this site offers hope things start to feel better for you soon